This site is for the Mark & Naomi Iliff family. For Mark’s work persona go to Talespinner
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rebug v
While attempting to fix software bugs, make matters worse instead of better ● 30 Nov >
perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov >
overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov >
I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov >
affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov >
smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov >
Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov >
Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov >
mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov >
tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov >
NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov >
squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov >
varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov >
hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov >
are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct >
early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct >
did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct >
crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct >
feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct >
Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct >
insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep >
wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep >
bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep >
VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep >
Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep >
Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug >
city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug >
Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug >
word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug >
misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul >
named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul >
audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul >
lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul >
espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul >
palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul >
oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul >
jock v
Skip, cut, omit to attend ● 26 Jul >
Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul >
curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May >
mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May >
minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May >
bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May >
helmetball n
American football ● 05 May >
that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May >
wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May >
priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May >
belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May >
pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr >
sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr >
blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr >
bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr >
Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr >
ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb >
0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb >
kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb >
fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb >
tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb >
trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb >
Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb >
spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb >
Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb >
Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb >
as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb >
Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb >
aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb >
my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb >
Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan >
he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan >
put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan >
oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan >
automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan >
cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan >
one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan >
that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan >
Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan >
mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan >
Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan >
Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan >
the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan >
mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan >
cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan >
leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan >
front loader n
Bra with a zip at the front ● 07 Jan >
pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan >
plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan >
full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan >
mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh) ● 24 Apr ’23 >
you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
pither v
Waste time; engage in displacement activities; avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
fissle v
Surreptitously investigate presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
furphy n
A tall tale; an erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
oddfather / oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks ● 05 Dec ’21 >
priest car n
Morris Minor ● 05 Dec ’21 >
are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
muchos cocineros! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Not wholly in command of events ● 27 May ’21 >
alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
bumpity-bolliko adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
bumpity bolliko n
Collision ● 03 Apr ’21 >
who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
graunty / gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” ● 24 Mar ’21 >
pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
vladivostok exc
(Exclamation for covering a belch ) ● 17 Mar ’21 >
get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
trypo n
Intentional typo for typo ● 05 Mar ’21 >
fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle.
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
park-anywheres n
Vehicle hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >