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0-9 A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W Y Z _

0-9

0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb >

1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >

14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >

81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >

A

a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb: A boy is a boy; two boys are half a boy; three boys are no boy at all …a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >

a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >

a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >

a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >

a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Not wholly in command of events ● 27 May ’21 >

a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >

a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat. Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >

a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >

a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >

A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >

aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >

abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >

accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >

Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >

add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >

AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >

ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >

aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >

ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >

alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >

aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >

alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >

all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >

all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >

All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >

ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >

American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >

amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >

amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >

ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >

and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >

and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >

another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >

anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >

any more laid back his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >

appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >

aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb >

are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >

are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >

ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >

arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >

as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb >

as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >

ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >

assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >

Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >

Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >

Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >

autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >

automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan >

avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >

B

B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >

B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >

babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >

baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >

back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan >

bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >

Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >

barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >

Basingrad n
Basingstoke ● 23 Apr ’21 >

basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >

bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >

bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >

bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >

be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >

bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >

bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >

beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >

beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >

beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >

Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >

Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >

Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >

bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >

Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >

betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >

bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >

biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone ● 06 Sep ’21 >

bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >

big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >

big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >

big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >

Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator) 2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >

Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >

bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >

bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan >

birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >

bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr >

BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >

black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >

blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >

blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >

bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >

blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >

blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr >

BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >

Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >

bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >

Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >

body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >

bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >

bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >

bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >

boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >

boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >

boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >

bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >

bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >

boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >

Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >

Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the noted Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr >

bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >

Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >

breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >

brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >

brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >

bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >

bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >

bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >

bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >

bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >

bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan >

bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >

bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >

bumpity bolliko n
Collision ● 03 Apr ’21 >

bumpity-bolliko adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >

burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >

Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >

buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >

by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >

C

canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >

can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >

case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >

cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >

cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >

castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >

catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet, Try not to make a mess. Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet, Send it to the NHS. —to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >

chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >

changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >

charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >

charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >

cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to: Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum Pinga Ninga nee-nay Pinga ninga nay Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo Very werry goshy washy Goshy washy tingo …or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >

chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >

chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >

chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >

chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >

chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >

cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan >

Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >

Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >

cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >

clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >

clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >

clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >

cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >

cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan >

cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >

code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >

coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >

collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >

Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >

combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >

come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >

conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >

contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >

contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >

cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >

Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >

Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan >

Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty. 2) A Cornish pasty …depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >

couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >

cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >

cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >

crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >

crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >

cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >

crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >

crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >

cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >

cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >

cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >

curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >

D

da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >

daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >

dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >

dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >

de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >

dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >

defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >

deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >

Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >

delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >

Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >

der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >

dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >

desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >

dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >

diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John …the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >

didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >

disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >

do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >

do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >

do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >

do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >

do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >

doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >

don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >

donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >

donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >

don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >

doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context. Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >

dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >

Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >

down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >

downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >

Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan >

Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >

drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >

dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >

ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb >

dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >

dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >

dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >

dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >

dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than first position, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >

E

E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >

earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >

East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >

EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >

ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >

effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >

eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >

eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >

elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >

elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >

elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >

elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >

elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >

emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >

empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >

encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >

enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr >

envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >

epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >

Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr >

everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >

extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >

F

Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >

Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough ● 06 Mar ’22 >

fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >

fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >

fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >

fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >

Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >

festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan >

FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >

fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >

Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >

fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb >

fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >

fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >

fissle v
Surreptitously investigate presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >

fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >

flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >

flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >

flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >

flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >

flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >

flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >

flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >

flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >

flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >

flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >

floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >

floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >

flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >

flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid. Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >

Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan >

fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >

flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >

fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >

FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >

fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >

for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >

Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >

forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >

forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >

foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >

fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >

fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >

front loader n
Bra with a zip at the front ● 07 Jan >

full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an EV rapid charger ● 07 Jan >

fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow ● 25 May ’21 >

furphy n
A tall tale; an erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >

fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >

G

garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle. 2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >

gash adj
Broken. Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >

gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >

gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >

generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >

get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >

get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >

get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >

give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >

glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >

Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >

go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >

go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >

Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >

gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >

god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >

goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >

Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >

good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >

good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >

goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >

goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >

gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >

grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >

Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >

graunty / gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >

Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >

Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >

Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >

grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >

gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >

Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >

H

haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >

Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >

hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >

hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >

Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >

hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >

haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >

have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >

he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan >

head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb >

here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >

hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song: Hey little horsey, don’t you stop, Just let your hooves go clicketty clop. Tail go swish, wheels go round Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >

hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >

he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >

hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >

Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >

His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >

hoddududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >

hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >

hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >

hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard ● 20 Jul ’22 >

hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >

hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >

holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >

home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >

homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >

honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >

honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >

hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >

hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >

hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >

Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >

Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >

horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >

horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan >

horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >

hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a Smart toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >

hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >

hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >

how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >

how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >

hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >

humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >

hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >

hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >

I

I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >

I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >

I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >

I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >

I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >

I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >

I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan >

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean: 1) I have been engaged in trivia 2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >

I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >

I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to: I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now. I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >

I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >

I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment: I remember being in Scotland Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom …to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >

I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan >

I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >

I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >

I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >

I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >

I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >

I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >

I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >

I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >

I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >

idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >

if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >

if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >

if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >

if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >

if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >

if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >

if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >

if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >

if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >

if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >

Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >

Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >

Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >

imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >

in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >

in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >

in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >

in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >

include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >

insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >

is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >

it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >

it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >

it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >

it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >

it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >

it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >

it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to: ”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers …an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >

it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >

it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >

it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >

I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >

I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >

I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >

I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >

I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >

J

jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >

jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >

Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >

Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >

jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >

Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >

jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >

K

kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >

Kahula n
The flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb >

katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >

kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb >

kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >

King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >

kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >

kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh) ● 24 Apr ’23 >

knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >

knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >

kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan >

Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >

kumu n
Greens ● 21 Jan >

kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >

ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >

L

ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >

lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >

land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan >

law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >

laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >

le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >

le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >

le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >

leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >

leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan >

left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >

let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan >

let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >

Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >

let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan >

let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >

let’s put the roof on first… exp
That task is being undertaken in an inauspicious sequence ● 05 Sep ’23 >

Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >

lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >

light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >

like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >

like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >

like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >

limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >

listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >

little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty: Little birdie flying high Drops a present from the sky Angry farmer wipes his eye Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >

little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >

Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >

lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >

loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >

long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >

longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >

longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >

Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >

looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >

Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >

lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >

lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >

lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >

M

Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >

madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >

maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >

Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >

make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >

makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >

manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >

Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb >

Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >

mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan >

may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >

mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan >

mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >

Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >

mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >

Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1]. When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton. [2]. People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version ● 05 Dec ’21 >

Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >

misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >

misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >

mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >

Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan >

Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >

mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >

mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >

more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >

Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >

most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >

Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >

Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >

move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >

mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >

Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >

Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >

muchos cocineros! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >

Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >

Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >

murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >

my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >

my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >

my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb >

my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >

my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment: My word, Hetty If I catch you on the jetty I’ll saw your leg off And stick it on with jam In Amsterdam …to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >

myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >

N

Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >

nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >

nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >

niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >

nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >

nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >

no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >

no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >

no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr >

no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >

no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >

no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >

noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >

North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >

north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >

nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >

not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >

Notlob n
Bolton ● 04 Mar ’21 >

now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >

now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >

noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >

noy adv
1. Now 2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >

NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >

nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >

O

oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >

obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >

obstacular adj
Being an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >

oddfather / oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >

Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >

oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >

oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >

oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >

old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >

old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >

omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >

on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious. 2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration. 3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb >

on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >

on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >

one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan >

One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to: One I love Two I love Three I love, I say. Four I love with all my heart Five I cast away. Six he loves Seven she loves Eight they both love. Nine he comes, Ten he tarries, Eleven they court, Twelve they marry. Thirteen they quarrel Fourteen they part Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >

one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >

one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >

one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >

ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >

oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >

op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >

open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet: Wakey wakey! Morning’s come Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >

operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >

optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >

optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >

ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >

organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >

orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >

osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >

oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan >

our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >

ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >

ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >

Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >

P

p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song: p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >

PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee. 2) Pa’s awful coffee …depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >

Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >

palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >

pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >

panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >

par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >

park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >

park-anywheres n
Vehicle hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >

parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >

pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >

pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan >

paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >

Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb >

PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >

peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >

peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >

peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >

percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >

perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >

PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >

pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >

pick up fagends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, particularly without the full context, often with a view to joining in ● 07 Nov ’21 >

pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >

piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >

pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >

Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >

pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >

pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >

pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >

pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >

pither v
Waste time; engage in displacement activities; avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >

pitiless bottom n
One much given to pungent farts ● 02 Apr >

PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >

playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >

plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >

plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan >

POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >

poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >

pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >

poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >

Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >

Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >

popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >

pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >

potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >

poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >

practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice: And all the world over each nation’s the same They’ve simply no notion of playing the game They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >

prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >

premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >

prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >

priest car n
Morris Minor ● 05 Dec ’21 >

priestage n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >

pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >

propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >

prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >

puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >

pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >

pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >

pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >

punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >

pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >

purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >

pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >

put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb >

put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >

put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan >

p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >

Q

QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >

queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >

R

rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >

rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >

ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >

rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >

redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >

renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >

rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >

respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >

richtigetonneohnenach­barnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >

Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to: Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer. (If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >

roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >

rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >

RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >

rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >

run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >

S

SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >

sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan >

saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >

said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >

Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >

salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >

samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >

sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr >

sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >

sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >

scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan >

seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >

sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >

second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >

senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >

shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >

sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >

shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >

sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >

shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >

shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >

shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >

short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >

shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >

showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >

shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >

shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >

shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb >

shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >

sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >

Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >

Sister / Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >

sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan >

SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >

slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >

slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >

sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >

smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >

smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >

Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >

Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >

sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >

snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >

snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >

snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >

snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >

so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >

sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >

soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >

soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >

some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >

sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >

sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >

sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >

soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >

spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >

spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >

sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >

sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >

sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >

spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >

spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >

spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >

Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >

splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >

splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >

spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb >

spose n
Spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >

squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan >

square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >

square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >

squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >

squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >

St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >

stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >

Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics 2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb >

Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb >

stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data, or about a quarter of a typical 2023 digital photo ● 30 Jul ’23 >

Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >

Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >

straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >

stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >

stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >

stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >

subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >

sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >

surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >

Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >

susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >

susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >

sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >

swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >

swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >

T

T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >

tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >

take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >

takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >

talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >

tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >

taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >

tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >

tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb >

teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >

Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >

tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >

tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >

Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >

testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks ● 05 Dec ’21 >

testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >

thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! (thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >

thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >

that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >

that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >

that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >

that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >

that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >

that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan >

the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >

the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan >

the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >

the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >

the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens, and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood. Good things of day begin to droop and drowse; While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse. —Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >

the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >

the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >

the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >

the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >

the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >

the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >

the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >

the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >

the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >

the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to: The telephone upon the wall Is useful when you want to call Just push the buttons on the front And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >

the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >

The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >

then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >

there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >

there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the Limerish: There was a young man of Tralee Got stung on the nose by a wasp When asked “Did it hurt?” He said “No not a bit Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >

there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >

there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >

there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >

thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >

they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >

they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >

those aren’t bananas they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >

thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >

three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >

three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice …from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >

thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >

tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >

ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >

tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >

time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >

Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >

tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >

tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb >

tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >

tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >

toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >

toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >

tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >

Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >

too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >

tramampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb >

trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >

tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb >

trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >

trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >

trypo n
Intentional typo for typo ● 05 Mar ’21 >

Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >

turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >

two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >

two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >

U

ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >

un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >

undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >

undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >

underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >

uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >

unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >

unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >

up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >

up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >

Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >

V

vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >

vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >

village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >

visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan >

Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >

vladivostok exc
(Exclamation for covering a belch ) ● 17 Mar ’21 >

vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >

vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >

vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >

vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >

W

wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >

wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >

Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >

wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >

warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >

warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >

Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >

wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >

washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >

we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >

we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >

wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >

wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >

well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >

well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr >

wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >

Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb >

we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >

whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >

whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >

what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >

what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >

what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >

what mind is here o’erthrown exp
That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action ● 23 Mar ’21 >

what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty: “What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose “Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >

whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >

when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to: When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >

when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling: Pa: When I was a little girl like you… Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl! Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you… Small ♀: But I am not a little boy! ↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >

when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >

where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them. Callback to: Where we have been no one can find, Not a trace have we left behind. Only the people we’ve helped today Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >

where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >

where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >

which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >

while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >

whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >

whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >

white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >

white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >

whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >

who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >

who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >

who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >

Whydofools n
The amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >

william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >

windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >

winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >

wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >

wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >

with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >

wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” ● 24 Mar ’21 >

wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >

wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >

wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >

WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >

worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >

wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >

Y

yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >

yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >

Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >

you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are grey You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you! Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >

You are very ugly today, Pa / Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >

you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >

you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >

you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >

your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking is less perfect than the other and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >

your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >

you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >

yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >

yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >

Z

zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >

zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >

zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >

_

_y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb >

’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >

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