popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
4. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
9. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
10. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
11. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
12. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
13. eh wallah exp
And there you have it ● 21 Nov ’21 >
14. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
15. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
16. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
17. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
18. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
19. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
20. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
21. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
22. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
23. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
24. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
25. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
26. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
27. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
28. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
29. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
30. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
31. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
32. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
33. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
34. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
35. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
36. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
37. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
38. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
39. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
40. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
41. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
42. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
43. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere or to participate in an impending event ● 19 Mar ’21 >
44. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
45. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
46. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out, at speed, relentlessly ● 27 Feb ’22 >
47. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
48. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
49. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
50. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
51. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
52. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
53. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
54. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
55. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
56. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
57. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
58. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
59. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
60. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
61. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
62. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
63. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
64. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
65. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
66. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
67. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
68. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
69. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
70. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
71. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
72. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
73. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
74. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
75. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 27 May ’21 >
76. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
77. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
78. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
79. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
80. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
81. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
82. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
83. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
84. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
85. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
86. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
87. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
88. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
89. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
90. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
91. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
92. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
93. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
94. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
95. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
96. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
97. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
98. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
99. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
100. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
101. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
102. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
103. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
104. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
105. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
106. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
107. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
108. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
109. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
110. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
111. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
112. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
113. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
114. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
115. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
116. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
117. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
118. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
119. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
120. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
121. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
122. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
123. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoonful at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
124. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
125. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
126. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
127. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
128. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
129. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
130. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
131. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
132. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
133. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
134. Belgian pish n
The beer-adjacent substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
135. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
136. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
137. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
138. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
139. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
140. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
141. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
142. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
143. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
144. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
145. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
146. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
147. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
148. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
149. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
150. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
151. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
152. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
153. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
154. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
155. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
156. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
157. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
158. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
159. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
160. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
161. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
162. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
163. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
164. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
165. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
166. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
167. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
168. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
169. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
170. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
171. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
172. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
173. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
174. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
175. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
176. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
177. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
178. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
179. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
180. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
181. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
182. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
183. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
184. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
185. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
186. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
187. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
188. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
189. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
190. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
191. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
192. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
193. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
194. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
195. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
196. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
197. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
198. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
199. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
200. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
201. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
202. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
203. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
204. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
205. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
206. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
207. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
208. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
209. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
210. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
211. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
212. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
213. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
214. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
215. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
216. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
217. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
218. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
219. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
220. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
221. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
222. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
223. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
224. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
225. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
226. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
227. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
228. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
229. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
230. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
231. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
232. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
233. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
234. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
235. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
236. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
237. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
238. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
239. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
240. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
241. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
242. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
243. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
244. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
245. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
246. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
247. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
248. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
249. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
250. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
251. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
252. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
253. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on “God rest you merry, gentlemen” from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
254. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
255. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
256. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
257. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
258. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
259. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
260. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
261. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
262. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
263. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
264. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
265. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
266. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
267. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
268. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
269. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
270. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
271. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
272. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
273. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
274. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
275. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
276. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
277. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
278. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
279. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
280. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
281. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
282. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
283. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
284. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
285. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
286. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
287. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
288. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
289. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
290. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
291. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
292. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
293. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
294. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
295. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
296. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
297. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
298. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
299. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
300. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
301. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
302. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
303. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
304. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
305. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
306. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
307. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
308. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
309. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
310. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
311. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
312. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
313. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
314. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
315. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
316. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
317. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
318. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
319. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
320. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
321. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
322. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
323. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
324. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
325. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
326. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
327. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
328. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
329. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
330. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
331. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
332. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
333. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
334. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
335. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
336. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
337. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
338. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
339. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
340. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
341. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
342. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
343. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding or dessert known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
344. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
345. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
346. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
347. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
348. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
349. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & other toiletries ● 12 May ’21 >
350. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
351. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
352. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
353. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
354. a peach of a boat exp
A very desirable boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
355. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
356. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
357. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
358. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
359. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
360. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
361. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
362. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
363. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
364. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
365. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
366. stuck in me clack exp
Lodged in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
367. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
368. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
369. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
370. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
371. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
372. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
373. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
374. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
375. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
376. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
377. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
378. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
379. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
380. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
381. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
382. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
383. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
384. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
385. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
386. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
387. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
388. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
389. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
390. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
391. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
392. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
393. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
394. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
395. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
396. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
397. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
398. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
399. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
400. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
401. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
402. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
403. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
404. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
405. no use to man or dog exp
Useless ● 14 Mar ’21 >
406. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
407. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
408. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
409. muchos cocineros chica/chico! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
410. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
411. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
412. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
413. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
414. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
415. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
416. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
417. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
418. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
419. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
420. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
421. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
422. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
423. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
424. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
425. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
426. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
427. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
428. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
429. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
430. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
431. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
432. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
433. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
434. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
435. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
436. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
437. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
438. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
439. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version, in flagrant denial of the folk process ● 05 Dec ’21 >
440. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
441. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
442. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
443. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
444. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
445. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
446. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
447. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
448. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
449. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
450. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
451. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
452. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
453. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
454. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
455. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
456. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
457. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
458. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
459. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
460. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
461. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
462. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
463. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
464. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
465. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
466. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
467. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
468. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
469. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
470. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
471. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
472. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
473. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
474. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
475. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
476. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
477. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
478. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
479. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
480. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
481. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
482. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
483. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
484. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
485. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
486. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
487. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
488. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
489. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
490. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
491. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
492. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
493. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
494. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
495. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
496. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
497. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
498. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
499. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
500. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
501. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
502. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
503. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
504. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
505. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
506. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
507. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
508. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
509. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
510. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
511. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
512. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
513. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
514. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
515. pop n
Pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
516. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
517. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
518. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
519. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
520. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
521. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
522. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
523. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
524. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
525. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
526. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
527. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
528. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
529. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
530. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
531. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
532. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
533. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
534. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
535. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
536. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
537. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
538. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
539. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
540. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
541. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
542. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
543. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
544. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
545. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
546. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
547. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
548. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
549. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
550. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
551. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
552. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
553. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
554. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
555. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
556. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
557. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
558. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
559. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
560. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
561. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
562. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
563. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
564. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
565. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
566. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
567. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
568. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
569. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
570. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
571. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
572. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
573. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
574. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
575. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
576. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
577. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
578. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
579. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
580. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
581. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
582. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
583. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
584. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
585. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
586. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
587. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
588. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
589. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
590. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
591. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
592. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
593. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
594. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
595. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
596. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
597. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
598. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
599. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
600. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
601. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
602. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
603. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
604. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
605. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
606. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
607. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
608. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
609. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
610. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
611. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
612. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
613. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
614. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
615. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
616. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
617. one-legged Santa at an arse-kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas illumination in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
618. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
619. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
620. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
621. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
622. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
623. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
624. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
625. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
626. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
627. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
628. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
629. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
630. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
631. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
632. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
633. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
634. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
635. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
636. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
637. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
638. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
639. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell, an individual tart comprising a shortcrust pastry base, layers of jam and almond paste, and topped with icing and a glacé cherry ● 19 Mar ’21 >
640. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
641. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
642. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
643. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
644. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
645. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
646. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
647. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
648. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
649. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
650. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
651. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
652. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
653. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
654. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
655. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
656. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
657. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
658. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
659. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
660. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
661. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
662. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
663. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
664. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
665. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
666. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
667. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
668. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
669. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
670. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
671. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
672. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
673. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
674. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
675. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
676. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
677. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
678. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
679. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
680. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
681. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
682. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
683. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
684. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
685. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
686. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
687. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
688. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
689. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
690. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
691. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
692. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
693. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
694. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
695. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
696. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
697. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
698. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
699. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
700. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
701. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
702. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
703. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
704. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
705. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
706. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
707. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
708. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
709. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
710. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
711. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
712. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
713. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
714. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
715. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own points of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
716. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
717. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
718. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
719. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
720. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
721. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
722. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
723. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
724. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
725. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
726. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
727. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
728. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
729. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
730. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
731. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
732. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
733. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
734. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
735. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
736. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
737. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
738. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
739. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
740. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
741. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
742. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
743. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
744. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
745. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
746. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
747. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
748. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
749. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
750. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
751. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
752. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
753. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
754. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
755. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
756. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
757. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
758. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
759. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
760. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
761. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
762. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
763. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
764. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
765. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
766. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
767. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
768. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
769. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
770. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
771. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
772. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
773. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
774. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
775. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
776. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
777. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
778. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
779. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
780. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
781. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
782. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
783. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
784. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
785. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
786. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
787. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
788. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
789. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
790. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
791. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
792. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
793. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
794. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
795. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
796. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
797. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
798. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
799. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
800. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
801. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
802. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
803. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
804. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
805. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
806. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
807. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
808. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
809. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
810. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
811. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
812. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
813. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
814. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
815. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
816. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
817. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
818. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
819. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
820. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
821. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
822. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
823. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
824. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
825. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
826. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
827. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
828. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
829. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
830. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
831. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
832. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
833. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
834. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
835. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
836. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
837. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
838. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
839. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
840. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
841. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
842. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
843. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
844. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
845. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
846. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
847. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
848. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
849. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
850. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
851. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
852. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
853. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
854. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
855. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
856. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
857. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
858. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
859. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
860. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
861. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
862. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
863. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
864. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
865. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
866. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
868. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
869. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
870. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
871. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
872. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
873. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
874. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
875. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
876. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
877. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
878. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
879. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
880. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
881. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
882. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
883. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
884. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
885. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
886. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
887. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
888. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
889. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
890. front loader n
Bra that fastens at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
891. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
892. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
893. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
894. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
895. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
896. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
897. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
898. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
899. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
900. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
901. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
902. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
903. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
904. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
905. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
906. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
907. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
908. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
909. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
910. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
911. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
912. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
913. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
914. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
915. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
916. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
917. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
918. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
919. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
920. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
921. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
922. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
923. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
924. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
925. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
926. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
927. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
928. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
929. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
930. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
931. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
932. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
933. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
934. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
935. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
936. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
937. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
938. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
939. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
940. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
941. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
942. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
943. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
944. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
945. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
946. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
947. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
948. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
949. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
950. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
951. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
952. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
953. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
954. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
955. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
956. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
957. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
958. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
959. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
960. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
961. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
962. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
963. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
964. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
965. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
966. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
967. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
968. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
969. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
970. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
971. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
972. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
973. a bob short of a quid exp
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 24 May ’25 >
974. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
975. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
976. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
977. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
978. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
979. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
980. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
981. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
982. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
983. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
984. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
985. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
986. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
987. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
988. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
989. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
990. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
991. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
992. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
993. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
994. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
995. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
996. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
997. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
998. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
999. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1000. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1001. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1002. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1003. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1004. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
1005. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen chores ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1006. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1007. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1008. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1009. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1010. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1011. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass, aka double bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1012. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1013. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1014. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1015. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1016. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1017. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1018. contrafibularities n
Congratulations. Can also be used out of context to baffle the hearer ● 24 May ’25 >
1019. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1020. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1021. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1022. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1023. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1024. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1025. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1026. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1027. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1028. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1029. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1030. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1031. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1032. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1033. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1034. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1035. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1036. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1037. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1038. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1039. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1040. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1041. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1042. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1043. rebug v
While attempting to debug software, inadvertently introduce one or more new bugs ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1044. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1045. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1046. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1047. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1048. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1049. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1050. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1051. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1052. you with wobbly bottoms, climbing up that tree verse
Alternative lyrics to Land of Hope & Glory ● 24 May ’25 >
1053. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1054. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1055. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1056. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1057. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1058. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1059. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1060. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1061. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1062. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1063. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1064. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1065. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1066. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1067. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1068. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1069. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1070. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1071. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! Get a move on! ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1072. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1073. battenberg n
A police response vehicle ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1074. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1075. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1076. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1077. trifle, trifle come and get an eyeful verse
Substitute chorus for the song Strawberry Fair ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1078. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1079. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1080. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1081. Rod & Staff n
The erstwhile Surrey electrician Rod Green and his sidekick ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1082. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1083. allergict adj
Allergic ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1084. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1085. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1086. Pomp & Circumstance n
The erstwhile Surrey painters, decorators and handymen Sigmund & Pomp ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1087. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1088. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1089. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1090. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1091. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1092. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1093. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1094. codslaw n
Coleslaw ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1095. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1096. eyes on your own plate! exp
You have all been served a fair portion, so don’t go eyeing up your siblings’ plates ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1097. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1098. Santa Masakeena n
San Tomas Aquino ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1099. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1100. we know a song about that, don’t we? exp
Used to flag up a double entendre. Works similarly to “as the actress said to the bishop” and “that’s what she said” ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1101. new notes exp
I don’t accept second-best ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1102. underblench n
Faint aroma of whatever it is the bleach was supposed to eradicate ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1103. Heathery Bongo n
Hemdean Road in Caversham RG4 ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1104. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1105. allons le tout cochon exp
Let’s go the whole hog. Let us splash out on every optional extra ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1106. jols n
Holidays ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1107. myth of future availability exp
The condition where your diary for a few weeks ahead looks pretty empty, and you somehow believe that THIS TIME it won’t fill up before that week arrives ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1108. weps n
Wasp ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1109. land holding hands exp
When two aircraft land in sync on parallel runways ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1110. Nissan Dormobile n
The aria Nessun dorma from Puccini’s Turandot ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1111. Weston-super-Merde n
The unappealing Somerset seaside town Weston-super-Mare ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1112. Mike Spilligan n
Spike Milligan, Irish comedian who wrote the Goon Show among other works ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1113. The Glums n
The musical Les Misérables ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1114. snow buzzards n
Snowbirds, folk who migrate from northern North America to warmer places further south for the winter ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1115. Penis van Lesbian n
The American entertainer, and byword for an atrocious Cockney accent, Dick van Dyke ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1116. people who live in glass houses should undress in the dark exp
Variation on the proverb People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1117. flapnel n
Foreign paper money of little use after returning home ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1118. slab-sided bottycrack n
Lumpen inelegant bombastic river cruiser. Can also refer to an SUV with similar characteristics ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1119. custode v
Look after. Hold on to ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1120. what’s that you’re almost wearing? exp
I consider your attire too scanty ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1121. meet the Danish delegation v
Visit the lavatory for purpose no. 2 ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1122. Eeel-Fra-Koom n
The Devon seaside town Ilfracombe ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1123. Louis Baleep n
Louis Philippe I, last-but-one king of the French 1830-45 and last to be called King ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1124. nosebags! exc
You are eating that rather quickly and unappreciatively ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1125. gazogene n
A kitchen device – such as those made by Sodastream – for putting fizz into plain water ● 07 Jan >
1126. gist-perfect adj
Accurately describes a finding, opinion or assertion while failing to recall its exact words ● 07 Jan >
1127. coached egg n
Poached egg ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1128. rattle some pans v
Start preparing a meal ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1129. vennimal n
Image of an animal made from ellipses ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1130. who put the bozo in cambozola? exp
Just a silly saying, that usefully serves as a spelling mnemonic for this splendid German cheese (which is sometimes known as blue brie) with an Italian name and French connections ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1131. bashi bazooka n
A bra that induces notable forward projection of the busty substances ● 07 Jan >
1132. tantric farewell n
When the period between a person saying they intend to leave a place or gathering and their actual departure proves to be uncomfortably protracted ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1133. things are worth what you pay for them, so here’s some free advice exp
I am about to give you some advice – that you might find patronising – in a self-effacing manner ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1134. Roger’s Knickers n
The Yoguslavian (now Croatian) town Rogoznica ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1135. sherbet n
Alcoholic drink ● 07 Jan >
1136. the 11ᵗʰ man delusion n
A belief in one’s ability to beat overwhelming odds ● 07 Jan >
1137. Micky Bubbles n
Canadian singer Michael Bublé ● 07 Jan >
1138. tits a bit nipply exp
It’s a bit chilly ● 07 Jan >
1139. fidgety-fidge adj
Excessively fidgety ● 07 Jan >
1140. blicker n
Blister ● 27 Feb >
1141. where’d you get your licence? Off the back of a Wheaties packet?! exp
I consider you an indifferent driver… at best ● 07 Jan >
1142. buggy turn n
When a car driver unnecessarily swings out to the right before turning left (or the opposite in countries that drive on the wrong side) ● 27 Feb >
1143. quick sticks! exp
Get a move on! ● 27 Feb >
1144. ingredigents n
Ingredients ● 27 Feb >
1145. chopper copper n
(1) Dentist
(2) Police officer in a helicopter ● 27 Feb >
1146. botty gardens n
Botanical gardens ● 27 Feb >
1147. it’ll be nice when it’s finished exp
Goodness me, this project is taking a long time ● 27 Feb >
1148. poubelle n
A dish made from ingredients readily to hand. Can also be used as an adjective to describe such a dish ● 27 Mar >
1149. cough it up, chicken! exp
Encouragement to one engaged in a coughing fit ● 27 Mar >
1150. stromboli exc
Utterance used to disguise a belch ● 27 Mar >
1151. Market n
What John called Mark ● 27 Mar >
1152. kokillate v
Cook ● 27 Mar >
1153. sugared almonds n
Dad’s expression for a pair of ballet shoes ● 27 Mar >
1154. evil flourishes like the green bay tree exp
Aren’t bad people bad? ● 27 Mar >
1155. slime n
Spreadable “butter” ● 31 May >
1156. snappy titogram n
Mammogram ● 31 May >
1157. spilth n
Fizzy water left over after carbonating a bottle-full ● 31 May >
1158. Hydrofoil n
Intentional malapropism for the Welsh tune Hyfrydol, perhaps best known for the hymn Love Divine, All Loves Excelling ● 31 May >
1159. yardalada n
What someone might take if you offer them an enchilada ● 31 May >
1160. twicker v
Fiddle, faff or twitch.
Also:
twickery adj ● 31 May >
1161. heel, heel, toe, toe, mind the gap and off we go exp
Cue for concerted action when boarding an Underground train with small kids ● 31 May >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
