popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
4. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
9. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
10. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
11. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
12. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
13. eh wallah exp
And there you have it ● 21 Nov ’21 >
14. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
15. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
16. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
17. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
18. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
19. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
20. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
21. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
22. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
23. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
24. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
25. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
26. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
27. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
28. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
29. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
30. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
31. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
32. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
33. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
34. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
35. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
36. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
37. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
38. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
39. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
40. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
41. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
42. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
43. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere or to participate in an impending event ● 19 Mar ’21 >
44. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
45. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out, at speed, relentlessly ● 27 Feb ’22 >
46. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
47. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
48. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
49. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
50. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
51. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
52. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
53. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
54. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
55. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
56. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
57. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
58. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
59. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
60. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
61. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
62. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
63. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
64. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
65. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
66. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
67. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
68. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
69. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
70. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
71. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
72. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
73. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
74. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
75. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 27 May ’21 >
76. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
77. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
78. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
79. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
80. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
81. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
82. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
83. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
84. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
85. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
86. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
87. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
88. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
89. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
90. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
91. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
92. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
93. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
94. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
95. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
96. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
97. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
98. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
99. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
100. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
101. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
102. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
103. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
104. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
105. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
106. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
107. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
108. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
109. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
110. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
111. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
112. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
113. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoonful at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
114. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
115. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
116. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
117. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
118. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
119. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
120. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
121. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
122. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
123. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
124. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
125. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
126. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
127. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
128. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
129. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
130. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
131. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
132. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
133. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
134. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
135. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
136. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
137. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
138. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
139. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
140. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
141. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
142. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
143. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
144. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
145. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
146. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
147. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
148. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
149. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
150. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
151. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
152. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
153. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
154. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
155. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
156. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
157. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
158. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
159. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
160. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
161. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
162. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
163. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
164. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
165. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
166. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
167. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
168. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
169. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
170. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
171. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
172. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
173. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
174. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
175. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
176. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
177. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
178. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
179. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
180. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
181. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
182. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
183. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
184. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
185. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
186. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
187. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
188. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
189. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
190. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
191. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
192. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
193. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
194. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
195. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
196. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
197. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
198. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
199. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
200. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
201. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
202. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
203. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
204. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
205. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
206. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
207. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
208. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
209. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
210. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
211. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
212. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
213. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
214. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
215. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
216. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
217. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
218. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
219. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
220. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
221. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
222. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
223. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
224. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
225. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
226. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
227. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
228. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
229. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
230. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
231. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
232. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
233. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
234. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
235. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
236. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
237. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
238. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
239. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
240. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
241. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
242. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on “God rest you merry, gentlemen” from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
243. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
244. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
245. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
246. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
247. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
248. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
249. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
250. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
251. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
252. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
253. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
254. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
255. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
256. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
257. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
258. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
259. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
260. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
261. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
262. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
263. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
264. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
265. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
266. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
267. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
268. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
269. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
270. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
271. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
272. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
273. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
274. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
275. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
276. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
277. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
278. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
279. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
280. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
281. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
282. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
283. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
284. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
285. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
286. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
287. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
288. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
289. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
290. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
291. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
292. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
293. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
294. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
295. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
296. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
297. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
298. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
299. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
300. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
301. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
302. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
303. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
304. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
305. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
306. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
307. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
308. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
309. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
310. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
311. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
312. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
313. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
314. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
315. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
316. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
317. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
318. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
319. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
320. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
321. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
322. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
323. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
324. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
325. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
326. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
327. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
328. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
329. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
330. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
331. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
332. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
333. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
334. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
335. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
336. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
337. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
338. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
339. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
340. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
341. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
342. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
343. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding or dessert known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
344. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
345. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
346. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
347. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
348. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
349. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
350. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
351. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
352. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
353. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
354. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
355. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
356. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
357. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
358. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
359. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
360. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
361. a peach of a boat exp
A very desirable boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
362. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
363. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
364. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
365. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
366. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
367. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
368. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
369. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
370. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
371. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
372. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
373. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
374. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
375. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
376. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
377. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
378. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
379. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
380. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
381. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
382. no use to man or dog exp
Useless ● 14 Mar ’21 >
383. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
384. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
385. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
386. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
387. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
388. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
389. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
390. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
391. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
392. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
393. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
394. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
395. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
396. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
397. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
398. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
399. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
400. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
401. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
402. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
403. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
404. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
405. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
406. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
407. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
408. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
409. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
410. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
411. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
412. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
413. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
414. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
415. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
416. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
417. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
418. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
419. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
420. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
421. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
422. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
423. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
424. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
425. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
426. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
427. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
428. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
429. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
430. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
431. muchos cocineros chica/chico! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
432. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
433. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
434. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
435. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
436. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
437. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
438. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
439. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
440. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
441. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
442. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
443. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
444. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
445. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
446. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
447. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
448. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
449. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
450. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
451. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
452. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
453. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version, in flagrant denial of the folk process ● 05 Dec ’21 >
454. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
455. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
456. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
457. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
458. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
459. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
460. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
461. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
462. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
463. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
464. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
465. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
466. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
467. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
468. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
469. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
470. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
471. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
472. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
473. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
474. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
475. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
476. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
477. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
478. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
479. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
480. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
481. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
482. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
483. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
484. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
485. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
486. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
487. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
488. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
489. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
490. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
491. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
492. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
493. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
494. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
495. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
496. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
497. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
498. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
499. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
500. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
501. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
502. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
503. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
504. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
505. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
506. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
507. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
508. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
509. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
510. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
511. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
512. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
513. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
514. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
515. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
516. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
517. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
518. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
519. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
520. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
521. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
522. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
523. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
524. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
525. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
526. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
527. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
528. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
529. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
530. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
531. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
532. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
533. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
534. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
535. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
536. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
537. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
538. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
539. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
540. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
541. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
542. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
543. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
544. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
545. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
546. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
547. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
548. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
549. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
550. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
551. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
552. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
553. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
554. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
555. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
556. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
557. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
558. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
559. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
560. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
561. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
562. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
563. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
564. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
565. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
566. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
567. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
568. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
569. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
570. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
571. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
572. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
573. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
574. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
575. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
576. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
577. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
578. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
579. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
580. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
581. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
582. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
583. one-legged Santa at an arse-kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas illumination in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
584. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
585. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
586. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
587. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
588. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
589. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
590. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
591. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
592. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
593. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
594. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
595. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
596. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
597. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
598. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
599. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
600. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
601. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
602. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
603. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
604. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
605. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
606. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
607. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
608. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
609. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell, an individual tart comprising a shortcrust pastry base, layers of jam and almond paste, and topped with icing and a glacé cherry ● 19 Mar ’21 >
610. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
611. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
612. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
613. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
614. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
615. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
616. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
617. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
618. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
619. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
620. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
621. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
622. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
623. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
624. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
625. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
626. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
627. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
628. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
629. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
630. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
631. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
632. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
633. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
634. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
635. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
636. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
637. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
638. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
639. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
640. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
641. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
642. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
643. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
644. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
645. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
646. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
647. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
648. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
649. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
650. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
651. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
652. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
653. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
654. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
655. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
656. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
657. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
658. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
659. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
660. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
661. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
662. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
663. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
664. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
665. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
666. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
667. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
668. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
669. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
670. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
671. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
672. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
673. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
674. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
675. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
676. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
677. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
678. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
679. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
680. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
681. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
682. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
683. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
684. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
685. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
686. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
687. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
688. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
689. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
690. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
691. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
692. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
693. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
694. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
695. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
696. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
697. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
698. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
699. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
700. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
701. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
702. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
703. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
704. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
705. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
706. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
707. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
708. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
709. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
710. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
711. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
712. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
713. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own points of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
714. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
715. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
716. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
717. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
718. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
719. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
720. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
721. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
722. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
723. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
724. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
725. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
726. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
727. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
728. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
729. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
730. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
731. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
732. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
733. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
734. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
735. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
736. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
737. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
738. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
739. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
740. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
741. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
742. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
743. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
744. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
745. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
746. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
747. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
748. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
749. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
750. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
751. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
752. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
753. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
754. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
755. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
756. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
757. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
758. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
759. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
760. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
761. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
762. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
763. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
764. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
765. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
766. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
767. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
768. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
769. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
770. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
771. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
772. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
773. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
774. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
775. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
776. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
777. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
778. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
779. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
780. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
781. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
782. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
783. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
784. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
785. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
786. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
787. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
788. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
789. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
790. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
791. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
792. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
793. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
794. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
795. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
796. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
797. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
798. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
799. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
800. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
801. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
802. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
803. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
804. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
805. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
806. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
807. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
808. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
809. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
810. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
811. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
812. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
813. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
814. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
815. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
816. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
817. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
818. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
819. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
820. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
821. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
822. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
823. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
824. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
825. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
826. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
827. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
828. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
829. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
830. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
831. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
832. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
833. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
834. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
835. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
836. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
837. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
838. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
839. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
840. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
841. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
842. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
843. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
844. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
845. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
846. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
847. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
848. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
849. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
850. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
851. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
852. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
853. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
854. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
855. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
856. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
857. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
858. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
859. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
860. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
861. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
862. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
863. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
864. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
865. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
866. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
868. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
869. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
870. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
871. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
873. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
874. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
875. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
876. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
877. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
878. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
879. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
880. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
881. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
882. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
883. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
884. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
885. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
886. front loader n
Bra that fastens at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
887. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
888. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
889. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
890. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
891. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
892. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
893. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
894. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
895. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
896. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
897. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
898. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
899. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
900. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
901. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
902. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
903. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
904. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
905. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
906. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
907. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
908. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
909. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
910. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
911. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
912. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
913. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
914. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
915. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
916. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
917. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
918. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
919. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
920. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
921. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
922. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
923. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
924. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
925. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
926. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
927. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
928. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
929. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
930. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
931. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
932. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
933. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
934. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
935. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
936. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
937. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
938. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
939. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
940. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
941. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
942. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
943. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
944. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
945. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
946. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
947. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
948. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
949. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
950. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
951. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
952. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
953. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
954. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
955. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
956. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
957. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
958. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
959. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
960. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
961. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
962. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
963. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
964. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
965. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
966. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
967. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
968. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
969. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
970. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
971. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
972. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
973. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
974. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
975. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
976. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
977. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
978. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
979. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
980. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
981. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
982. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
983. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
984. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
985. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
986. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
987. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
988. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
989. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
990. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
991. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
992. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
993. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
994. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
995. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
996. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
997. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
998. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
999. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1000. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1001. a bob short of a quid exp
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 24 May ’25 >
1002. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1003. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen tasks ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1004. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1005. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1006. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1007. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1008. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1009. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1010. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1011. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1012. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1013. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1014. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1015. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
1016. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1017. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1018. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1019. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1020. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1021. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1022. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1023. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1024. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1025. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1026. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1027. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1028. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1029. rebug v
While attempting to debug software, inadvertently introduce one or more new bugs ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1030. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1031. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1032. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1033. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1034. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1035. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1036. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1037. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1038. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1039. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1040. contrafibularities n
Congratulations. Can also be used out of context to baffle the hearer ● 24 May ’25 >
1041. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1042. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1043. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1044. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1045. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1046. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1047. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1048. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1049. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1050. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1051. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1052. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1053. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1054. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1055. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1056. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1057. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1058. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1059. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1060. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1061. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1062. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1063. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1064. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1065. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1066. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1067. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1068. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1069. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1070. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! Get a move on! ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1071. trifle, trifle come and get an eyeful verse
Substitute chorus for the song Strawberry Fair ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1072. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1073. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1074. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1075. you with wobbly bottoms, climbing up that tree verse
Alternative lyrics to Land of Hope & Glory ● 24 May ’25 >
1076. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1077. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1078. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1079. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1080. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1081. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1082. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1083. Pomp & Circumstance n
The erstwhile Surrey painters, decorators and handymen Sigmund & Pomp ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1084. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1085. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1086. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1087. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1088. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1089. battenberg n
A police response vehicle ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1090. codslaw n
Coleslaw ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1091. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1092. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1093. eyes on your own plate! exp
You have all been served a fair portion, so don’t go eyeing up your siblings’ plates ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1094. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1095. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1096. Rod & Staff n
The erstwhile Surrey electrician Rod Green and his sidekick ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1097. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1098. Santa Masakeena n
San Tomas Aquino ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1099. allergict adj
Allergic ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1100. we know a song about that, don’t we? exp
Used to flag up a double entendre. Works similarly to “as the actress said to the bishop” and “that’s what she said” ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1101. Heathery Bongo n
Hemdean Road in Caversham RG4 ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1102. underblench n
Faint aroma of whatever it is the bleach was supposed to eradicate ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1103. new notes exp
I don’t accept second-best ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1104. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1105. jols n
Holidays ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1106. allons le tout cochon exp
Let’s go the whole hog. Let us splash out on every optional extra ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1107. myth of future availability exp
The condition where your diary for a few weeks ahead looks pretty empty, and you somehow believe that THIS TIME it won’t fill up before that week arrives ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1108. weps n
Wasp ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1109. land holding hands exp
When two aircraft land in sync on parallel runways ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1110. Mike Spilligan n
Spike Milligan, Irish comedian who wrote the Goon Show among other works ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1111. Nissan Dormobile n
The aria Nessun dorma from Puccini’s Turandot ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1112. Weston-super-Merde n
The unappealing Somerset seaside town Weston-super-Mare ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1113. The Glums n
The musical Les Misérables ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1114. Penis van Lesbian n
The American entertainer, and byword for an atrocious Cockney accent, Dick van Dyke ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1115. flapnel n
Foreign paper money of little use after returning home ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1116. what’s that you’re almost wearing? exp
I consider your attire too scanty ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1117. people who live in glass houses should undress in the dark exp
Variation on the proverb People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1118. slab-sided bottycrack n
Lumpen inelegant bombastic river cruiser. Can also refer to an SUV with similar characteristics ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1119. snow buzzards n
Snowbirds, folk who migrate from northern North America to warmer places further south for the winter ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1120. Eeel-Fra-Koom n
The Devon seaside town Ilfracombe ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1121. custode v
Look after. Hold on to ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1122. meet the Danish delegation v
Visit the lavatory for purpose no. 2 ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1123. nosebags! exc
You are eating that rather quickly and unappreciatively ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1124. coached egg n
Poached egg ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1125. Louis Baleep n
Louis Philippe I, last-but-one king of the French 1830-45 and last to be called King ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1126. vennimal n
Image of an animal made from ellipses ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1127. rattle some pans v
Start preparing a meal ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1128. things are worth what you pay for them, so here’s some free advice exp
I am about to give you some advice – that you might find patronising – in a self-effacing manner ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1129. tantric farewell n
When the period between a person saying they intend to leave a place or gathering and their actual departure proves to be uncomfortably protracted ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1130. Roger’s Knickers n
The Yoguslavian (now Croatian) town Rogoznica ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1131. who put the bozo in cambozola? exp
Just a silly saying, that usefully serves as a spelling mnemonic for this splendid German cheese (which is sometimes known as blue brie) with an Italian name and French connections ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1132. bashi bazooka n
A bra that induces notable forward projection of the busty substances ● 07 Jan >
1133. sherbet n
Alcoholic drink ● 07 Jan >
1134. gist-perfect adj
Accurately describes a finding, opinion or assertion while failing to recall its exact words ● 07 Jan >
1135. Micky Bubbles n
Canadian singer Michael Bublé ● 07 Jan >
1136. gazogene n
A kitchen device – such as those made by Sodastream – for putting fizz into plain water ● 07 Jan >
1137. where’d you get your licence? Off the back of a Wheaties packet?! exp
I consider you an indifferent driver… at best ● 07 Jan >
1138. the 11ᵗʰ man delusion n
A belief in one’s ability to beat overwhelming odds ● 07 Jan >
1139. fidgety-fidge adj
Excessively fidgety ● 07 Jan >
1140. tits a bit nipply exp
It’s a bit chilly ● 07 Jan >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
