popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
4. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
9. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
10. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
11. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
12. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
13. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
14. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
15. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
16. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
17. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
18. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
19. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
20. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
21. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
22. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
23. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
24. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
25. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
26. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
27. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
28. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
29. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
30. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
31. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
32. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
33. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
34. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
35. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
36. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
37. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
38. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
39. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
40. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
41. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
42. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
43. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
44. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
45. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
46. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
47. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
48. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
49. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
50. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
51. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
52. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
53. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
54. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
55. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
56. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
57. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
58. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
59. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
60. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
61. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
62. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
63. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
64. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
65. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
66. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
67. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
68. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
69. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
70. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
71. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
72. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
73. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 27 May ’21 >
74. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
75. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
76. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
77. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
78. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
79. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
80. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
81. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
82. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
83. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
84. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
85. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
86. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
87. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
88. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
89. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
90. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
91. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
92. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
93. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
94. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
95. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
96. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
97. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
98. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
99. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
100. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
101. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
102. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
103. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
104. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
105. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
106. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
107. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
108. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
109. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
110. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
111. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
112. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
113. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
114. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
115. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
116. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
117. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
118. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
119. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
120. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
121. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
122. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
123. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
124. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
125. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
126. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
127. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
128. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
129. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
130. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
131. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
132. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
133. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
134. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
135. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
136. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
137. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
138. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
139. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
140. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
141. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
142. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
143. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
144. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
145. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
146. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
147. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
148. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
149. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
150. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
151. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
152. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
153. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
154. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
155. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
156. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
157. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
158. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
159. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
160. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
161. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
162. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
163. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
164. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
165. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
166. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
167. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
168. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
169. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
170. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
171. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
172. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
173. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
174. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
175. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
176. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
177. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
178. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
179. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
180. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
181. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
182. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
183. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
184. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
185. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
186. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
187. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
188. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
189. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
190. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
191. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
192. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
193. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
194. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
195. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
196. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
197. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
198. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
199. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
200. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
201. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
202. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
203. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
204. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
205. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
206. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
207. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
208. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
209. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
210. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
211. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
212. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
213. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
214. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
215. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
216. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
217. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
218. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
219. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
220. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
221. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
222. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
223. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
224. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
225. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
226. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
227. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
228. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
229. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
230. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
231. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
232. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
233. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
234. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
235. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
236. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
237. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
238. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
239. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
240. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
241. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
242. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
243. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
244. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
245. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
246. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
247. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
248. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
249. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
250. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
251. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
252. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
253. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
254. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
255. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
256. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
257. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
258. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
259. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
260. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
261. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
262. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
263. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
264. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
265. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
266. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
267. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
268. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
269. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
270. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
271. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
272. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
273. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
274. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
275. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
276. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
277. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
278. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
279. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
280. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
281. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
282. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
283. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
284. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
285. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
286. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
287. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
288. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
289. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
290. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
291. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
292. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
293. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
294. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
295. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
296. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
297. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
298. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
299. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
300. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
301. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
302. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
303. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
304. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
305. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
306. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
307. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
308. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
309. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
310. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
311. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
312. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
313. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
314. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
315. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
316. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
317. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
318. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
319. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
320. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
321. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
322. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
323. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
324. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
325. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
326. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
327. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
328. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
329. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
330. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
331. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
332. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
333. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
334. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
335. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
336. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
337. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
338. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
339. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
340. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
341. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
342. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
343. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
344. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
345. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
346. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
347. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
348. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
349. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
350. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
351. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
352. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
353. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
354. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
355. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
356. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
357. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
358. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
359. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
360. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
361. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
362. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
363. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
364. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
365. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
366. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
367. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
368. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
369. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
370. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
371. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
372. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
373. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
374. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
375. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
376. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
377. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
378. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
379. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
380. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
381. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
382. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
383. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
384. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
385. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
386. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
387. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
388. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
389. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
390. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
391. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
392. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
393. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
394. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
395. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
396. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
397. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
398. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
399. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
400. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
401. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
402. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
403. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
404. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
405. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
406. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
407. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
408. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
409. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
410. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
411. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
412. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
413. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
414. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
415. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
416. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
417. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
418. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
419. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
420. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
421. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
422. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
423. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
424. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
425. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
426. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
427. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
428. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
429. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
430. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
431. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
432. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
433. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
434. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
435. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
436. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
437. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
438. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
439. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
440. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
441. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
442. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
443. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
444. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
445. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
446. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
447. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
448. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
449. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
450. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
451. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
452. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
453. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
454. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
455. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
456. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
457. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
458. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
459. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
460. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
461. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
462. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
463. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
464. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
465. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
466. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
467. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
468. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
469. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
470. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
471. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
472. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
473. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
474. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
475. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
476. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
477. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
478. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
479. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
480. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
481. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
482. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
483. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
484. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version, in flagrant denial of the folk process ● 05 Dec ’21 >
485. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
486. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
487. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
488. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
489. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
490. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
491. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
492. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
493. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
494. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
495. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
496. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
497. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
498. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
499. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
500. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
501. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
502. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
503. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
504. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
505. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
506. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
507. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
508. muchos cocineros chica/chico! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
509. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
510. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
511. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
512. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
513. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
514. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
515. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
516. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
517. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
518. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
519. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
520. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
521. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
522. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
523. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
524. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
525. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
526. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
527. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
528. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
529. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
530. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
531. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
532. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
533. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
534. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
535. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
536. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
537. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
538. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
539. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
540. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
541. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
542. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
543. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
544. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
545. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
546. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
547. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
548. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
549. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
550. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
551. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
552. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
553. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
554. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
555. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
556. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
557. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
558. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
559. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
560. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
561. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
562. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
563. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
564. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
565. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
566. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
567. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
568. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
569. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
570. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
571. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
572. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
573. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
574. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
575. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
576. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
577. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
578. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
579. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
580. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
581. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
582. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
583. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
584. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
585. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
586. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
587. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
588. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
589. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
590. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
591. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
592. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
593. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
594. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
595. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
596. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
597. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
598. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
599. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
600. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
601. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
602. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
603. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
604. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
605. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
606. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
607. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
608. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
609. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
610. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
611. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
612. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
613. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
614. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
615. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
616. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
617. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
618. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
619. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
620. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
621. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
622. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
623. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
624. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
625. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
626. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
627. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
628. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
629. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
630. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
631. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
632. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
633. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
634. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
635. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
636. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
637. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
638. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
639. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
640. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
641. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
642. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
643. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
644. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
645. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
646. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
647. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
648. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
649. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
650. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
651. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
652. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
653. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
654. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
655. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
656. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
657. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
658. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
659. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
660. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
661. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
662. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
663. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
664. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
665. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
666. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
667. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
668. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
669. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
670. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
671. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
672. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
673. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
674. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
675. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
676. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
677. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
678. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
679. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
680. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
681. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
682. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
683. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
684. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
685. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
686. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
687. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
688. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
689. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
690. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
691. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
692. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
693. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
694. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
695. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
696. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
697. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
698. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
699. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
700. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
701. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
702. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
703. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
704. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
705. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
706. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
707. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
708. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
709. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
710. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
711. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
712. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
713. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
714. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
715. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
716. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
717. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
718. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
719. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
720. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
721. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
722. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
723. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
724. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
725. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
726. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
727. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
728. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
729. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
730. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
731. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
732. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
733. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
734. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
735. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
736. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
737. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
738. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
739. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
740. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
741. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
742. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
743. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
744. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
745. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
746. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
747. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
748. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
749. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
750. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
751. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
752. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
753. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
754. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
755. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
756. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
757. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
758. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
759. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
760. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
761. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
762. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
763. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
764. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
765. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
766. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
767. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
768. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
769. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
770. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
771. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
772. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
773. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
774. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
775. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
776. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
777. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
778. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
779. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
780. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
781. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
782. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
783. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
784. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
785. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
786. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
787. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
788. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
789. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
790. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
791. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
792. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
793. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
794. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
795. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
796. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
797. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
798. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
799. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
800. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
801. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
802. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
803. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
804. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
805. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
806. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
807. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
808. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
809. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
810. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
811. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
812. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
813. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
814. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
815. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
816. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
817. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
818. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
819. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
820. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
821. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
822. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
823. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
824. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
825. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
826. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
827. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
828. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
829. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
830. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
831. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
832. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
833. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
834. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
835. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
836. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
837. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
838. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
839. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
840. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
841. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
842. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
843. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
844. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
845. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
846. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
847. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
848. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
849. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
850. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
851. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
852. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
853. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
854. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
855. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
856. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
857. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
858. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
859. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
860. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
861. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
862. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
863. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
864. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
865. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
866. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
868. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
869. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
870. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
871. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
873. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
874. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
875. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
876. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
877. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
878. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
879. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
880. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
881. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
882. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
883. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
884. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
885. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
886. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
887. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
888. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
889. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
890. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
891. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
892. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
893. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
894. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
895. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
896. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
897. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
898. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
899. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
900. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
901. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
902. front loader n
Bra that fastens at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
903. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
904. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
905. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
906. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
907. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
908. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
909. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
910. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
911. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
912. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
913. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
914. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
915. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
916. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
917. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
918. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
919. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
920. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
921. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
922. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
923. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
924. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
925. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
926. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
927. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
928. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
929. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
930. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
931. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
932. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
933. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
934. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
935. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
936. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
937. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
938. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
939. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
940. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
941. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
942. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
943. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
944. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
945. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
946. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
947. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
948. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
949. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
950. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
951. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
952. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
953. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
954. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
955. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
956. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
957. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
958. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
959. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
960. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
961. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
962. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
963. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
964. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
965. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
966. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
967. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
968. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
969. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
970. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
971. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
972. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
973. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
974. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
975. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
976. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
977. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
978. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
979. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
980. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
981. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
982. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
983. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
984. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
985. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
986. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
987. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
988. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
989. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
990. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
991. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
992. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
993. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
994. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
995. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
996. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
997. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
998. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
999. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1000. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1001. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
1002. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1003. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1004. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1005. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1006. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1007. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1008. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1009. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1010. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1011. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1012. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1013. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1014. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1015. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen tasks ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1016. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1017. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1018. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1019. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1020. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1021. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1022. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1023. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1024. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1025. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1026. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1027. rebug v
While attempting to fix software bugs, make matters worse instead of better ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1028. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1029. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan >
1030. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1031. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan >
1032. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1033. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1034. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1035. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1036. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1037. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1038. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan >
1039. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan >
1040. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1041. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan >
1042. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1043. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan >
1044. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1045. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan >
1046. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan >
1047. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1048. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan >
1049. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan >
1050. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan >
1051. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan >
1052. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan >
1053. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan >
1054. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! At this rate you are unlikely to finish before nightfall ● 02 Jan >
1055. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan >
1056. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan >
1057. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1058. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan >
1059. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan >
1060. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan >
1061. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1062. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan >
1063. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan >
1064. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan >
1065. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar >
1066. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr >
1067. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan >
1068. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan >
1069. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan >
1070. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan >
1071. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan >
1072. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr >
1073. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb >
1074. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb >
1075. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb >
1076. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb >
1077. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb >
1078. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar >
1079. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb >
1080. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb >
1081. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan >
1082. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar >
1083. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr >
1084. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar >
1085. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr >
1086. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar >
1087. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar >
1088. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar >
1089. a bob short of a quid exp
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 24 May >
1090. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr >
1091. you with wobbly bottoms, climbing up that tree verse
Alternative lyrics to Land of Hope & Glory ● 24 May >
1092. contrafibularities n
Congratulations. Can also be used out of context to baffle the hearer ● 24 May >
1093. Pomp & Circumstance n
The erstwhile Surrey painters, decorators and handymen Sigmund & Pomp ● 27 Jun >
1094. Rod & Staff n
The erstwhile Surrey electrician Rod Green and his sidekick ● 27 Jun >
1095. codslaw n
Coleslaw ● 27 Jun >
1096. trifle, trifle come and get an eyeful verse
Substitute chorus for the song Strawberry Fair ● 27 Jun >
1097. Santa Masakeena n
San Tomas Aquino ● 27 Jun >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
