popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
4. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
9. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
10. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
11. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
12. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
13. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
14. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
15. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
16. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
17. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
18. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
19. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
20. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
21. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
22. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
23. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
24. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
25. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
26. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
27. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
28. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
29. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
30. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
31. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
32. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
33. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
34. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
35. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
36. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
37. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
38. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
39. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
40. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
41. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
42. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
43. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
44. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
45. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
46. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
47. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
48. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
49. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
50. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
51. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
52. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
53. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
54. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
55. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
56. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
57. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
58. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
59. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
60. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
61. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
62. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
63. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
64. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
65. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
66. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
67. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
68. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
69. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
70. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
71. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
72. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
73. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
74. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
75. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Not wholly in command of events ● 27 May ’21 >
76. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
77. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
78. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
79. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
80. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
81. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
82. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
83. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
84. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
85. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
86. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
87. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
88. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
89. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
90. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
91. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
92. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
93. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
94. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
95. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
96. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
97. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
98. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
99. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
100. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
101. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
102. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
103. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
104. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
105. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
106. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
107. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
108. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
109. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
110. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
111. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
112. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
113. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
114. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
115. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
116. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
117. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
118. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
119. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
120. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
121. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
122. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
123. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
124. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
125. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
126. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
127. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
128. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
129. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
130. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
131. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
132. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
133. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
134. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
135. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
136. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
137. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
138. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
139. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
140. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
141. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
142. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
143. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
144. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
145. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
146. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
147. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
148. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
149. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
150. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
151. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
152. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
153. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
154. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
155. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
156. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
157. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
158. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
159. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
160. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
161. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
162. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
163. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
164. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
165. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
166. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
167. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
168. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
169. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
170. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
171. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
172. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
173. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
174. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
175. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
176. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
177. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
178. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
179. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
180. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
181. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
182. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
183. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
184. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
185. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
186. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
187. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
188. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
189. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
190. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
191. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
192. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
193. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
194. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
195. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
196. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
197. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
198. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
199. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
200. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
201. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
202. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
203. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
204. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
205. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
206. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
207. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
208. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
209. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
210. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
211. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
212. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
213. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
214. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
215. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
216. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
217. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
218. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
219. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
220. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
221. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
222. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
223. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
224. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
225. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
226. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
227. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
228. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
229. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
230. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
231. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
232. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
233. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
234. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
235. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
236. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
237. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
238. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
239. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
240. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
241. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
242. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
243. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
244. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
245. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
246. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
247. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
248. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
249. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
250. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
251. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
252. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
253. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
254. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
255. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
256. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
257. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
258. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
259. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
260. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
261. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
262. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
263. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
264. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
265. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
266. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
267. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
268. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
269. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
270. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
271. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
272. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
273. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
274. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
275. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
276. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
277. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
278. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
279. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
280. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
281. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
282. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
283. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
284. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
285. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
286. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
287. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
288. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
289. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
290. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
291. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
292. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
293. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
294. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
295. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
296. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
297. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
298. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
299. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
300. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
301. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
302. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
303. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
304. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
305. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
306. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
307. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
308. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
309. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
310. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
311. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
312. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
313. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
314. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
315. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
316. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
317. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
318. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
319. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
320. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
321. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
322. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
323. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
324. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
325. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
326. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
327. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
328. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
329. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
330. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
331. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
332. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
333. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
334. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
335. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
336. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
337. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
338. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
339. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
340. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
341. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
342. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
343. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
344. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
345. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
346. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
347. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
348. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
349. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
350. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
351. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
352. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
353. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
354. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
355. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
356. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
357. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
358. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
359. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
360. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
361. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
362. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
363. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
364. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
365. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
366. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
367. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
368. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
369. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
370. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
371. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
372. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
373. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
374. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
375. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
376. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
377. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
378. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
379. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
380. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
381. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
382. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
383. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
384. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
385. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
386. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
387. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
388. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
389. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
390. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
391. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
392. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
393. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
394. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
395. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
396. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
397. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
398. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
399. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
400. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
401. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
402. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
403. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
404. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
405. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
406. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
407. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
408. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
409. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
410. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
411. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
412. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
413. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
414. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
415. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
416. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
417. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
418. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
419. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
420. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
421. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
422. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
423. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
424. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
425. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
426. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
427. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
428. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
429. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
430. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
431. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
432. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
433. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
434. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
435. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
436. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
437. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
438. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
439. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
440. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
441. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
442. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
443. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
444. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
445. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
446. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
447. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
448. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
449. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
450. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
451. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
452. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
453. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
454. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
455. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
456. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
457. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
458. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
459. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
460. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
461. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
462. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
463. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
464. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
465. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
466. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
467. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
468. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
469. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
470. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
471. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
472. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
473. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
474. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
475. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
476. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
477. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
478. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
479. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
480. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
481. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
482. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
483. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
484. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
485. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
486. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
487. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
488. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
489. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
490. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
491. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
492. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
493. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
494. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
495. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
496. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
497. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
498. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
499. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
500. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
501. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
502. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
503. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
504. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
505. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version ● 05 Dec ’21 >
506. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
507. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
508. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
509. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
510. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
511. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
512. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
513. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
514. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
515. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
516. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
517. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
518. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
519. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
520. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
521. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
522. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
523. muchos cocineros! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
524. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
525. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
526. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
527. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
528. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
529. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
530. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
531. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
532. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
533. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
534. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
535. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
536. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
537. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
538. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
539. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
540. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
541. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
542. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
543. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
544. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
545. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
546. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
547. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
548. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
549. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
550. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
551. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
552. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
553. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
554. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
555. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
556. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
557. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
558. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
559. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
560. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
561. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
562. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
563. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
564. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
565. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
566. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
567. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
568. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
569. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
570. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
571. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
572. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
573. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
574. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
575. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
576. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
577. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
578. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
579. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
580. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
581. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
582. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
583. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
584. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
585. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
586. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
587. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
588. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
589. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
590. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
591. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
592. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
593. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
594. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
595. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
596. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
597. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
598. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
599. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
600. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
601. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
602. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
603. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
604. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
605. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
606. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
607. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
608. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
609. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
610. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
611. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
612. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
613. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
614. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
615. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
616. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
617. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
618. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
619. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
620. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
621. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
622. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
623. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
624. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
625. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
626. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
627. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
628. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
629. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
630. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
631. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
632. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
633. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
634. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
635. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
636. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
637. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
638. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
639. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
640. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
641. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
642. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
643. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
644. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
645. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
646. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
647. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
648. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
649. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
650. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
651. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
652. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
653. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
654. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
655. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
656. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
657. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
658. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
659. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
660. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
661. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
662. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
663. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
664. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
665. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
666. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
667. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
668. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
669. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
670. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
671. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
672. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
673. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
674. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
675. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
676. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
677. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
678. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
679. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
680. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
681. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
682. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
683. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
684. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
685. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
686. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
687. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
688. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
689. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
690. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
691. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
692. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
693. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
694. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
695. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
696. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
697. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
698. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
699. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
700. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
701. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
702. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
703. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
704. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
705. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
706. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
707. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
708. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
709. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
710. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
711. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
712. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
713. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
714. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
715. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
716. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
717. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
718. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
719. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
720. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
721. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
722. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
723. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
724. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
725. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
726. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
727. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
728. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
729. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
730. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
731. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
732. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
733. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
734. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
735. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
736. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
737. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
738. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
739. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
740. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
741. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
742. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
743. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
744. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
745. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
746. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
747. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
748. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
749. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
750. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
751. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
752. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
753. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
754. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
755. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
756. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
757. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
758. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
759. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
760. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
761. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
762. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
763. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
764. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
765. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
766. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
767. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
768. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
769. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
770. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
771. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
772. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
773. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
774. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
775. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
776. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
777. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
778. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
779. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
780. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
781. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
782. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
783. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
784. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
785. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
786. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
787. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
788. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
789. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
790. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
791. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
792. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
793. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
794. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
795. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
796. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
797. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
798. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
799. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
800. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
801. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
802. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
803. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
804. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
805. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
806. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
807. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
808. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
809. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
810. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
811. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
812. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
813. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
814. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
815. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
816. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
817. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
818. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
819. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
820. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
821. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
822. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
823. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
824. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
825. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
826. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
827. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
828. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
829. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
830. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
831. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
832. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
833. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
834. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
835. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
836. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
837. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
838. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
839. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
840. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
841. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
842. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
843. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
844. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
845. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
846. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
847. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
848. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
849. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
850. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
851. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
852. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
853. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
854. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
855. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
856. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
857. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
858. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
859. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
860. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
861. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
862. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
863. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
864. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
865. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
866. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
867. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
868. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
869. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
870. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
871. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
873. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
874. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
875. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
876. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
877. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
878. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
879. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
880. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
881. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
882. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
883. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
884. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
885. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
886. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
887. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
888. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
889. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
890. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
891. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
892. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
893. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
894. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
895. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
896. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
897. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
898. front loader n
Bra with a zip at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
899. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
900. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
901. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
902. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
903. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
904. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
905. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
906. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
907. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
908. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
909. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
910. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
911. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
912. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
913. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
914. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
915. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
916. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
917. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
918. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
919. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
920. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
921. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
922. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
923. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
924. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
925. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
926. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
927. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
928. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
929. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
930. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
931. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
932. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
933. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
934. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
935. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
936. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
937. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
938. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
939. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
940. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
941. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
942. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
943. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
944. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
945. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
946. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
947. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
948. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
949. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
950. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
951. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
952. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
953. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
954. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
955. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
956. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
957. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
958. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
959. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
960. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
961. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
962. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
963. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
964. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
965. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
966. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
967. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
968. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
969. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
970. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
971. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
972. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
973. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
974. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
975. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
976. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
977. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
978. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
979. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
980. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
981. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
982. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
983. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
984. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
985. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
986. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
987. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
988. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
989. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
990. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
991. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
992. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
993. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
994. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
995. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
996. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
997. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
998. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
999. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1000. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1001. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1002. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1003. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1004. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1005. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1006. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1007. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1008. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1009. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1010. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1011. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1012. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1013. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1014. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1015. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1016. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1017. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1018. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1019. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen tasks ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1020. rebug v
While attempting to fix software bugs, make matters worse instead of better ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1021. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1022. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1023. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1024. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1025. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1026. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1027. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1028. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1029. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1030. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1031. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1032. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1033. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1034. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1035. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan >
1036. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1037. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1038. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1039. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1040. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan >
1041. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1042. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan >
1043. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan >
1044. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan >
1045. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan >
1046. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1047. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1048. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan >
1049. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan >
1050. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan >
1051. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan >
1052. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan >
1053. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! At this rate you are unlikely to finish before nightfall ● 02 Jan >
1054. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan >
1055. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan >
1056. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan >
1057. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan >
1058. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan >
1059. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan >
1060. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan >
1061. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan >
1062. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan >
1063. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan >
1064. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan >
1065. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan >
1066. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan >
1067. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan >
1068. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan >
1069. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan >
1070. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb >
1071. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb >
1072. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb >
1073. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb >
1074. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan >
1075. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb >
1076. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb >
1077. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb >
1078. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar >
1079. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar >
1080. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar >
1081. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar >
1082. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar >
1083. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar >
1084. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr >
1085. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar >
1086. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr >
1087. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr >
1088. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr >
1089. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
