1. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
2. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
3. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
4. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
5. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
6. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
7. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
8. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
9. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
10. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
11. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
12. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
13. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
14. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
15. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
16. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
17. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
18. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
19. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
20. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
21. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
22. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
23. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
24. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
25. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
26. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
27. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
28. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
29. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
30. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
31. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
32. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
33. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
34. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
35. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
36. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
37. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
38. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
39. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
40. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
41. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
42. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
43. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
44. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
45. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
46. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
47. graunty / gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
48. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
49. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
50. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
51. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
52. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
53. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
54. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
55. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
56. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
57. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
58. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
59. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
60. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
61. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
62. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
63. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
64. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
65. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
66. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
67. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
68. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
69. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
70. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
71. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
72. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
73. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Not wholly in command of events ● 27 May ’21 >
74. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
75. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid. Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
76. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
77. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
78. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
79. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
80. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
81. bumpity bolliko n
Collision ● 03 Apr ’21 >
82. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
83. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
84. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
85. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
86. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
87. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
88. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
89. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
90. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
91. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
92. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
93. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
94. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
95. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
96. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
97. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
98. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
99. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
100. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
101. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
102. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
103. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
104. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
105. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
106. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
107. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
108. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than first position, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
109. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
110. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
111. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
112. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
113. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
114. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
115. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
116. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
117. bumpity-bolliko adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
118. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
119. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
120. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
121. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
122. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
123. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
124. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
125. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
126. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
127. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
128. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
129. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
130. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
131. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
132. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
133. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
134. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
135. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
136. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
137. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
138. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
139. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
140. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
141. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
142. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
143. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
144. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
145. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
146. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
147. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
148. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
149. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
150. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
151. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
152. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
153. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
154. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
155. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough ● 06 Mar ’22 >
156. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
157. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
158. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
159. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
160. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
161. Basingrad n
Basingstoke ● 23 Apr ’21 >
162. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
163. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
164. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
165. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
166. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
167. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
168. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
169. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
170. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
171. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
172. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
173. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
174. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
175. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
176. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow ● 25 May ’21 >
177. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
178. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
179. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy; two boys are half a boy; three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
180. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
181. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
182. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
183. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
184. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
185. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
186. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
187. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
188. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
189. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
190. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
191. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
192. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
193. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
194. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
195. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
196. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
197. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
198. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
199. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
200. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
201. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
202. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
203. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
204. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
205. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
206. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
207. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
208. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
209. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone ● 06 Sep ’21 >
210. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
211. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
212. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
213. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
214. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
215. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
216. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
217. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
218. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
219. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
220. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
221. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
222. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
223. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
224. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
225. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
226. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
227. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
228. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
229. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
230. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
231. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
232. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
233. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
234. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
235. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
236. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
237. hoddududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
238. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
239. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
240. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
241. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
242. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
243. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
244. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
245. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
246. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
247. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
248. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
249. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
250. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
251. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
252. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
253. furphy n
A tall tale; an erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
254. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
255. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
256. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
257. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
258. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
259. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
260. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
261. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
262. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
263. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
264. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
265. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
266. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
267. any more laid back his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
268. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
269. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
270. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
271. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
272. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
273. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
274. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
275. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
276. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
277. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
278. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
279. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
280. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
281. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
282. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
283. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
284. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
285. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
286. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
287. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
288. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
289. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
290. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
291. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
292. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
293. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
294. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
295. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
296. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
297. obstacular adj
Being an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
298. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
299. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
300. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
301. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
302. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
303. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
304. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
305. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
306. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
307. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
308. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
309. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
310. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
311. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
312. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
313. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
314. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
315. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
316. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
317. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
318. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
319. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
320. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
321. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
322. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
323. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
324. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
325. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
326. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
327. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
328. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
329. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
330. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
331. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
332. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
333. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
334. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
335. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
336. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
337. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
338. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
339. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
340. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
341. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
342. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
343. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
344. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
345. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
346. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
347. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
348. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
349. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
350. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
351. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
352. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
353. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
354. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
355. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
356. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
357. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
358. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
359. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
360. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
361. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
362. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
363. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
364. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
365. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
366. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
367. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
368. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
369. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
370. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
371. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
372. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
373. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
374. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
375. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” ● 24 Mar ’21 >
376. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
377. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
378. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
379. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
380. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
381. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
382. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
383. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
384. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
385. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
386. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
387. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
388. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
389. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
390. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
391. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
392. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
393. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
394. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
395. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
396. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
397. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
398. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
399. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
400. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
401. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
402. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
403. oddfather / oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
404. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
405. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
406. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
407. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
408. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
409. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
410. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
411. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
412. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
413. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
414. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
415. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
416. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
417. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
418. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
419. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
420. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
421. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
422. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
423. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
424. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
425. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
426. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
427. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
428. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
429. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
430. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
431. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
432. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
433. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
434. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
435. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
436. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
437. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
438. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
439. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
440. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
441. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
442. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
443. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
444. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
445. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks ● 05 Dec ’21 >
446. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
447. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
448. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
449. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
450. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
451. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
452. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
453. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
454. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
455. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
456. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the Limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
457. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
458. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
459. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
460. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
461. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
462. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
463. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
464. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
465. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
466. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
467. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
468. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
469. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
470. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
471. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
472. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
473. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
474. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
475. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
476. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
477. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
478. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
479. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
480. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
481. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
482. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
483. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
484. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
485. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
486. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
487. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
488. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
489. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
490. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
491. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
492. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
493. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
494. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
495. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
496. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
497. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
498. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
499. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
500. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
501. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
502. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
503. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
504. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
505. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
506. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
507. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
508. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
509. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
510. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
511. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
512. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
513. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
514. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
515. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
516. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
517. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
518. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
519. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
520. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
521. priestage n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
522. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
523. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
524. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
525. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
526. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
527. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
528. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
529. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
530. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
531. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
532. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
533. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
534. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
535. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
536. pick up fagends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, particularly without the full context, often with a view to joining in ● 07 Nov ’21 >
537. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
538. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
539. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
540. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
541. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
542. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
543. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
544. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle.
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
545. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
546. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
547. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
548. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
549. muchos cocineros! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
550. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
551. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
552. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
553. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
554. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
555. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
556. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
557. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
558. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
559. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
560. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
561. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
562. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
563. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
564. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
565. park-anywheres n
Vehicle hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
566. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
567. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
568. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
569. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
570. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
571. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
572. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
573. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
574. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
575. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
576. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
577. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
578. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
579. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
580. You are very ugly today, Pa / Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
581. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1]. When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2]. People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version ● 05 Dec ’21 >
582. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
583. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
584. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
585. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
586. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
587. Notlob n
Bolton ● 04 Mar ’21 >
588. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
589. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
590. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
591. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
592. those aren’t bananas they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
593. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
594. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
595. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
596. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
597. spose n
Spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
598. vladivostok exc
(Exclamation for covering a belch ) ● 17 Mar ’21 >
599. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
600. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
601. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
602. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
603. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
604. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
605. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
606. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
607. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
608. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
609. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
610. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
611. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
612. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
613. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
614. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
615. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
616. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
617. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
618. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
619. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
620. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
621. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
622. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
623. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
624. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
625. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
626. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
627. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
628. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
629. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
630. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
631. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
632. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
633. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
634. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
635. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
636. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
637. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
638. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
639. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
640. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
641. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
642. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
643. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
644. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
645. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
646. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
647. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
648. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
649. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
650. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
651. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
652. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
653. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
654. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
655. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
656. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
657. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
658. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
659. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
660. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
661. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
662. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
663. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
664. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
665. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
666. priest car n
Morris Minor ● 05 Dec ’21 >
667. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
668. Sister / Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
669. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
670. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
671. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
672. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
673. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
674. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
675. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
676. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
677. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action ● 23 Mar ’21 >
678. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
679. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
680. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
681. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
682. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
683. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
684. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
685. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
686. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
687. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
688. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
689. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
690. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
691. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
692. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
693. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
694. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
695. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
696. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
697. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
698. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
699. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
700. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
701. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo ● 05 Mar ’21 >
702. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
703. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
704. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
705. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
706. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
707. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
708. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
709. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
710. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
711. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
712. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
713. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
714. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
715. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
716. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
717. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
718. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
719. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
720. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
721. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
722. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
723. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
724. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
725. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
726. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
727. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
728. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
729. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
730. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking is less perfect than the other and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
731. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
732. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
733. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
734. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
735. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
736. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
737. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
738. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard ● 20 Jul ’22 >
739. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
740. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
741. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
742. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
743. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
744. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
745. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
746. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
747. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
748. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
749. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
750. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
751. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
752. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
753. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
754. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
755. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
756. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
757. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
758. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
759. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
760. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
761. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
762. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
763. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
764. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
765. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
766. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
767. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
768. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
769. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
770. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
771. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
772. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
773. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
774. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
775. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
776. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
777. Whydofools n
The amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
778. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
779. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
780. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
781. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
782. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
783. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
784. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
785. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
786. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
787. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
788. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
789. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
790. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
791. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
792. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
793. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
794. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
795. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
796. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
797. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
798. pither v
Waste time; engage in displacement activities; avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
799. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
800. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
801. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
802. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
803. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
804. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
805. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
806. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
807. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
808. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
809. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
810. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
811. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
812. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh) ● 24 Apr ’23 >
813. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
814. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
815. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
816. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
817. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
818. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
819. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
820. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
821. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
822. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
823. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
824. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
825. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
826. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
827. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
828. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
829. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
830. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
831. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
832. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
833. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
834. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
835. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
836. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
837. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
838. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
839. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
840. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
841. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
842. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
843. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
844. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
845. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
846. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
847. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
848. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
849. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
850. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
851. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a Smart toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
852. let’s put the roof on first… exp
That task is being undertaken in an inauspicious sequence ● 05 Sep ’23 >
853. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
854. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
855. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
856. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
857. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
858. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
859. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data, or about a quarter of a typical 2023 digital photo ● 30 Jul ’23 >
860. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
861. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
862. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
863. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
864. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
865. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
866. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
868. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
869. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
870. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
871. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
872. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
873. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
874. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
875. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
876. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
877. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
878. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
879. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan >
880. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan >
881. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
882. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
883. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan >
884. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan >
885. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan >
886. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an EV rapid charger ● 07 Jan >
887. front loader n
Bra with a zip at the front ● 07 Jan >
888. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan >
889. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan >
890. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan >
891. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan >
892. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan >
893. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan >
894. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan >
895. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan >
896. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan >
897. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan >
898. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb >
899. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan >
900. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb >
901. Kahula n
The flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb >
902. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb >
903. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb >
904. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb >
905. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan >
906. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan >
907. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan >
908. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb >
909. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb >
910. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan >
911. _y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb >
912. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan >
913. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan >
914. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan >
915. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan >
916. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb >
917. tramampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb >
918. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb >
919. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan >
920. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan >
921. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan >
922. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb >
923. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb >
924. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan >
925. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan >
926. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb >
927. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb >
928. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb >
929. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb >
930. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb >
931. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb >
932. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan >
933. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb >
934. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb >
935. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan >
936. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan >
937. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
938. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan >
939. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan >
940. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb >
941. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
942. kumu n
Greens ● 21 Jan >
943. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr >
944. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr >
945. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr >
946. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr >
947. pitiless bottom n
One much given to pungent farts ● 02 Apr >
948. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the noted Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr >
949. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr >
950. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr >
951. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr >
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Iliff-King phrasebook