popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
4. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
9. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
10. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
11. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
12. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
13. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
14. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
15. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
16. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
17. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
18. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
19. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
20. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
21. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
22. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
23. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
24. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
25. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
26. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
27. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
28. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
29. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
30. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
31. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
32. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
33. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
34. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
35. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
36. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
37. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
38. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
39. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
40. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
41. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
42. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
43. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
44. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
45. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
46. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
47. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
48. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
49. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
50. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
51. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
52. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
53. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
54. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
55. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
56. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
57. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
58. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
59. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
60. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
61. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
62. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
63. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
64. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
65. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
66. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
67. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
68. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
69. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
70. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
71. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
72. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
73. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 27 May ’21 >
74. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
75. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
76. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
77. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
78. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
79. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
80. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
81. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
82. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
83. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
84. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
85. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
86. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
87. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
88. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
89. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
90. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
91. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
92. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
93. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
94. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
95. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
96. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
97. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
98. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
99. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
100. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
101. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
102. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
103. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
104. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
105. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
106. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
107. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
108. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
109. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
110. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
111. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
112. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
113. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
114. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
115. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
116. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
117. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
118. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
119. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
120. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
121. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
122. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
123. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
124. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
125. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
126. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
127. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
128. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
129. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
130. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
131. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
132. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
133. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
134. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
135. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
136. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
137. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
138. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
139. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
140. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
141. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
142. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
143. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
144. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
145. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
146. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
147. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
148. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
149. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
150. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
151. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
152. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
153. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
154. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
155. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
156. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
157. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
158. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
159. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
160. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
161. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
162. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
163. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
164. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
165. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
166. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
167. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
168. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
169. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
170. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
171. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
172. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
173. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
174. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
175. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
176. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
177. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
178. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
179. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
180. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
181. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
182. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
183. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
184. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
185. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
186. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
187. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
188. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
189. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
190. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
191. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
192. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
193. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
194. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
195. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
196. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
197. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
198. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
199. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
200. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
201. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
202. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
203. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
204. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
205. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
206. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
207. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
208. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
209. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
210. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
211. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
212. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
213. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
214. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
215. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
216. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
217. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
218. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
219. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
220. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
221. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
222. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
223. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
224. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
225. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
226. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
227. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
228. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
229. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
230. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
231. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
232. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
233. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
234. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
235. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
236. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
237. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
238. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
239. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
240. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
241. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
242. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
243. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
244. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
245. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
246. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
247. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
248. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
249. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
250. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
251. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
252. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
253. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
254. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
255. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
256. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
257. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
258. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
259. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
260. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
261. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
262. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
263. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
264. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
265. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
266. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
267. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
268. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
269. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
270. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
271. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
272. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
273. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
274. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
275. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
276. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
277. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
278. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
279. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
280. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
281. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
282. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
283. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
284. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
285. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
286. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
287. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
288. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
289. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
290. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
291. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
292. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
293. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
294. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
295. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
296. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
297. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
298. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
299. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
300. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
301. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
302. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
303. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
304. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
305. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
306. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
307. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
308. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
309. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
310. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
311. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
312. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
313. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
314. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
315. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
316. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
317. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
318. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
319. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
320. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
321. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
322. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
323. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
324. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
325. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
326. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
327. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
328. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
329. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
330. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
331. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
332. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
333. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
334. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
335. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
336. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
337. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
338. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
339. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
340. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
341. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
342. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
343. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
344. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
345. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
346. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
347. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
348. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
349. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
350. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
351. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
352. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
353. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
354. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
355. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
356. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
357. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
358. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
359. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
360. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
361. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
362. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
363. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
364. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
365. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
366. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
367. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
368. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
369. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
370. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
371. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
372. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
373. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
374. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
375. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
376. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
377. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
378. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
379. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
380. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
381. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
382. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
383. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
384. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
385. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
386. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
387. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
388. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
389. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
390. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
391. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
392. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
393. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
394. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
395. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
396. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
397. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
398. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
399. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
400. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
401. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
402. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
403. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
404. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
405. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
406. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
407. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
408. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
409. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
410. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
411. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
412. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
413. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
414. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
415. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
416. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
417. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
418. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
419. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
420. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
421. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
422. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
423. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
424. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
425. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
426. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
427. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
428. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
429. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
430. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
431. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
432. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
433. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
434. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
435. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
436. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
437. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
438. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
439. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
440. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
441. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
442. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
443. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
444. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
445. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
446. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
447. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
448. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
449. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
450. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
451. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
452. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
453. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
454. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
455. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
456. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
457. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
458. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
459. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
460. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
461. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
462. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
463. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
464. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
465. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
466. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
467. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
468. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
469. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
470. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
471. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
472. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
473. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
474. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
475. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
476. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
477. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
478. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
479. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
480. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
481. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
482. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
483. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
484. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
485. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
486. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
487. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version, in flagrant denial of the folk process ● 05 Dec ’21 >
488. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
489. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
490. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
491. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
492. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
493. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
494. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
495. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
496. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
497. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
498. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
499. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
500. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
501. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
502. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
503. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
504. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
505. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
506. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
507. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
508. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
509. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
510. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
511. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
512. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
513. muchos cocineros chica/chico! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
514. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
515. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
516. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
517. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
518. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
519. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
520. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
521. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
522. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
523. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
524. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
525. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
526. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
527. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
528. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
529. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
530. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
531. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
532. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
533. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
534. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
535. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
536. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
537. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
538. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
539. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
540. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
541. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
542. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
543. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
544. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
545. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
546. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
547. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
548. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
549. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
550. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
551. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
552. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
553. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
554. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
555. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
556. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
557. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
558. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
559. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
560. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
561. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
562. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
563. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
564. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
565. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
566. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
567. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
568. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
569. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
570. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
571. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
572. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
573. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
574. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
575. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
576. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
577. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
578. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
579. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
580. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
581. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
582. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
583. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
584. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
585. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
586. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
587. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
588. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
589. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
590. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
591. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
592. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
593. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
594. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
595. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
596. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
597. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
598. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
599. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
600. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
601. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
602. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
603. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
604. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
605. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
606. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
607. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
608. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
609. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
610. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
611. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
612. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
613. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
614. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
615. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
616. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
617. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
618. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
619. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
620. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
621. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
622. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
623. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
624. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
625. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
626. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
627. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
628. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
629. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
630. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
631. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
632. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
633. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
634. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
635. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
636. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
637. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
638. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
639. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
640. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
641. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
642. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
643. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
644. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
645. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
646. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
647. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
648. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
649. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
650. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
651. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
652. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
653. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
654. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
655. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
656. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
657. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
658. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
659. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
660. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
661. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
662. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
663. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
664. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
665. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
666. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
667. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
668. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
669. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
670. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
671. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
672. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
673. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
674. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
675. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
676. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
677. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
678. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
679. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
680. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
681. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
682. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
683. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
684. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
685. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
686. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
687. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
688. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
689. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
690. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
691. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
692. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
693. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
694. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
695. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
696. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
697. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
698. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
699. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
700. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
701. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
702. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
703. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
704. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
705. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
706. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
707. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
708. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
709. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
710. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
711. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
712. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
713. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
714. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
715. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
716. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
717. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
718. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
719. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
720. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
721. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
722. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
723. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
724. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
725. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
726. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
727. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
728. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
729. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
730. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
731. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
732. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
733. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
734. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
735. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
736. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
737. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
738. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
739. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
740. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
741. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
742. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
743. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
744. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
745. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
746. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
747. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
748. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
749. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
750. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
751. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
752. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
753. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
754. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
755. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
756. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
757. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
758. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
759. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
760. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
761. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
762. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
763. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
764. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
765. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
766. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
767. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
768. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
769. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
770. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
771. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
772. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
773. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
774. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
775. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
776. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
777. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
778. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
779. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
780. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
781. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
782. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
783. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
784. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
785. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
786. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
787. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
788. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
789. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
790. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
791. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
792. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
793. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
794. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
795. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
796. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
797. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
798. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
799. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
800. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
801. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
802. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
803. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
804. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
805. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
806. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
807. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
808. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
809. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
810. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
811. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
812. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
813. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
814. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
815. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
816. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
817. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
818. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
819. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
820. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
821. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
822. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
823. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
824. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
825. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
826. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
827. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
828. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
829. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
830. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
831. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
832. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
833. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
834. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
835. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
836. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
837. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
838. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
839. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
840. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
841. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
842. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
843. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
844. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
845. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
846. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
847. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
848. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
849. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
850. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
851. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
852. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
853. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
854. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
855. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
856. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
857. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
858. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
859. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
860. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
861. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
862. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
863. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
864. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
865. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
866. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
868. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
869. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
870. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
871. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
873. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
874. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
875. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
876. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
877. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
878. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
879. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
880. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
881. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
882. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
883. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
884. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
885. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
886. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
887. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
888. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
889. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
890. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
891. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
892. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
893. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
894. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
895. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
896. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
897. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
898. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
899. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
900. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
901. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
902. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
903. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
904. front loader n
Bra that fastens at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
905. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
906. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
907. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
908. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
909. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
910. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
911. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
912. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
913. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
914. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
915. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
916. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
917. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
918. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
919. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
920. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
921. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
922. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
923. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
924. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
925. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
926. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
927. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
928. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
929. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
930. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
931. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
932. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
933. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
934. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
935. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
936. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
937. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
938. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
939. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
940. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
941. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
942. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
943. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
944. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
945. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
946. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
947. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
948. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
949. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
950. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
951. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
952. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
953. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
954. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
955. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
956. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
957. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
958. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
959. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
960. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
961. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
962. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
963. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
964. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
965. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
966. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
967. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
968. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
969. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
970. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
971. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
972. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
973. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
974. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
975. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
976. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
977. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
978. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
979. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
980. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
981. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
982. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
983. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
984. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
985. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
986. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
987. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
988. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
989. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
990. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
991. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
992. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
993. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
994. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
995. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
996. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
997. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
998. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
999. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1000. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1001. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1002. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1003. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1004. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1005. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1006. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1007. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1008. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1009. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1010. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1011. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1012. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1013. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1014. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1015. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1016. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1017. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen tasks ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1018. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1019. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1020. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1021. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1022. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1023. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1024. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1025. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1026. rebug v
While attempting to fix software bugs, make matters worse instead of better ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1027. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1028. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1029. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan >
1030. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1031. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan >
1032. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1033. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1034. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1035. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1036. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1037. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan >
1038. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1039. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1040. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan >
1041. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan >
1042. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1043. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan >
1044. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1045. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan >
1046. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1047. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan >
1048. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan >
1049. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan >
1050. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan >
1051. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan >
1052. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan >
1053. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan >
1054. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan >
1055. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1056. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! At this rate you are unlikely to finish before nightfall ● 02 Jan >
1057. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan >
1058. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan >
1059. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1060. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan >
1061. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan >
1062. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan >
1063. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan >
1064. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan >
1065. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar >
1066. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan >
1067. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan >
1068. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr >
1069. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan >
1070. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan >
1071. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr >
1072. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan >
1073. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb >
1074. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb >
1075. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb >
1076. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb >
1077. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb >
1078. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar >
1079. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb >
1080. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan >
1081. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb >
1082. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar >
1083. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar >
1084. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr >
1085. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr >
1086. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar >
1087. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar >
1088. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar >
1089. a bob short of a quid exp
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 24 May >
1090. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr >
1091. you with wobbly bottoms, climbing up that tree verse
Alternative lyrics to Land of Hope & Glory ● 24 May >
1092. contrafibularities n
Congratulations. Can also be used out of context to baffle the hearer ● 24 May >
1093. Pomp & Circumstance n
The erstwhile Surrey painters, decorators and handymen Sigmund & Pomp ● 27 Jun >
1094. Rod & Staff n
The erstwhile Surrey electrician Rod Green and his sidekick ● 27 Jun >
1095. trifle, trifle come and get an eyeful verse
Substitute chorus for the song Strawberry Fair ● 27 Jun >
1096. codslaw n
Coleslaw ● 27 Jun >
1097. Santa Masakeena n
San Tomas Aquino ● 27 Jun >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
