popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
4. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
9. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
10. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
11. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
12. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
13. eh wallah exp
And there you have it ● 21 Nov ’21 >
14. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
15. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
16. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
17. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
18. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
19. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
20. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
21. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
22. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
23. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
24. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
25. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
26. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
27. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
28. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
29. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
30. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
31. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
32. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
33. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
34. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
35. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
36. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
37. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
38. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
39. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
40. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
41. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
42. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
43. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
44. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
45. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
46. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
47. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
48. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere or to participate in an impending event ● 19 Mar ’21 >
49. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
50. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out, at speed, relentlessly ● 27 Feb ’22 >
51. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
52. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
53. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
54. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
55. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
56. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
57. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
58. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
59. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
60. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
61. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
62. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
63. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
64. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
65. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
66. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
67. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
68. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
69. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
70. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
71. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
72. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
73. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
74. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
75. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
76. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
77. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
78. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
79. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
80. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
81. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 27 May ’21 >
82. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
83. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
84. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
85. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
86. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
87. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
88. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
89. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
90. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
91. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
92. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
93. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
94. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
95. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
96. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
97. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
98. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
99. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
100. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
101. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
102. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
103. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
104. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
105. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
106. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
107. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
108. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
109. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
110. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
111. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
112. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
113. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
114. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
115. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
116. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
117. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
118. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
119. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
120. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
121. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
122. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
123. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
124. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
125. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
126. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
127. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
128. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
129. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
130. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
131. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
132. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
133. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
134. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
135. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
136. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
137. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
138. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoonful at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
139. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
140. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
141. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
142. Belgian pish n
The beer-adjacent substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
143. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
144. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
145. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
146. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
147. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
148. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
149. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
150. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
151. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
152. a peach of a boat exp
A very desirable boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
153. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
154. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
155. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
156. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
157. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
158. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
159. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
160. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
161. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
162. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
163. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
164. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
165. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
166. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
167. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
168. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
169. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
170. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
171. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
172. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
173. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
174. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
175. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
176. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
177. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
178. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
179. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
180. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
181. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
182. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
183. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
184. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
185. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
186. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
187. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
188. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
189. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
190. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
191. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
192. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
193. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
194. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
195. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
196. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
197. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
198. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
199. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
200. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
201. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
202. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
203. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
204. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
205. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
206. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
207. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
208. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
209. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
210. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
211. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
212. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
213. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
214. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
215. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
216. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
217. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
218. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
219. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
220. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
221. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
222. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
223. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
224. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
225. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
226. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
227. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
228. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
229. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
230. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
231. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
232. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
233. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
234. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
235. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
236. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
237. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
238. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
239. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
240. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
241. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
242. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
243. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
244. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
245. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
246. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
247. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
248. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
249. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
250. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
251. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
252. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
253. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
254. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
255. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
256. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
257. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
258. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
259. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
260. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
261. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on “God rest you merry, gentlemen” from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
262. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
263. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
264. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
265. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
266. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
267. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
268. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
269. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
270. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
271. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
272. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
273. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
274. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
275. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
276. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
277. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
278. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
279. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
280. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
281. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
282. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
283. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
284. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
285. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
286. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
287. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
288. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
289. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
290. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
291. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
292. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
293. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
294. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
295. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
296. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
297. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
298. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
299. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
300. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
301. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
302. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
303. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
304. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
305. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
306. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
307. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
308. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
309. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
310. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
311. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
312. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
313. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
314. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
315. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
316. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
317. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
318. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
319. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
320. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
321. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
322. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
323. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
324. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
325. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
326. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
327. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
328. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
329. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
330. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
331. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
332. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
333. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
334. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
335. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
336. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
337. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
338. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
339. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
340. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
341. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
342. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
343. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
344. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
345. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding or dessert known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
346. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
347. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
348. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
349. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
350. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
351. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
352. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
353. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
354. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
355. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
356. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & other toiletries ● 12 May ’21 >
357. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
358. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
359. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
360. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
361. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
362. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
363. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
364. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
365. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
366. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
367. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
368. stuck in me clack exp
Lodged in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
369. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
370. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
371. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
372. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
373. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
374. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
375. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
376. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
377. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
378. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
379. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
380. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
381. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
382. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
383. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
384. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
385. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
386. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
387. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
388. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
389. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
390. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
391. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
392. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
393. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
394. no use to man or dog exp
Useless ● 14 Mar ’21 >
395. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
396. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
397. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
398. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
399. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
400. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
401. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
402. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
403. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
404. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
405. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
406. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
407. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
408. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
409. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
410. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
411. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
412. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
413. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
414. muchos cocineros chica/chico! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
415. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
416. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
417. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
418. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
419. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
420. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
421. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
422. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
423. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
424. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
425. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
426. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
427. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
428. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
429. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
430. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
431. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
432. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
433. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
434. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
435. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
436. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
437. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
438. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
439. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version, in flagrant denial of the folk process ● 05 Dec ’21 >
440. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
441. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
442. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
443. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
444. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
445. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
446. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
447. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
448. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
449. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
450. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
451. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
452. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
453. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
454. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
455. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
456. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
457. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
458. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
459. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
460. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
461. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
462. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
463. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
464. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
465. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
466. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
467. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
468. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
469. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
470. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
471. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
472. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
473. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
474. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
475. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
476. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
477. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
478. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
479. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
480. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
481. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
482. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
483. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
484. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
485. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
486. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
487. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
488. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
489. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
490. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
491. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
492. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
493. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
494. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
495. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
496. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
497. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
498. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
499. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
500. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
501. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
502. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
503. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
504. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
505. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
506. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
507. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
508. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
509. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
510. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
511. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
512. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
513. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
514. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
515. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
516. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
517. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
518. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
519. pop n
Pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
520. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
521. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
522. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
523. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
524. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
525. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
526. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
527. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
528. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
529. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
530. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
531. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
532. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
533. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
534. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
535. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
536. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
537. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
538. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
539. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
540. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
541. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
542. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
543. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
544. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
545. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
546. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
547. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
548. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
549. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
550. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
551. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
552. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
553. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
554. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
555. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
556. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
557. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
558. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
559. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
560. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
561. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
562. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
563. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
564. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
565. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
566. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
567. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
568. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
569. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
570. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
571. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
572. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
573. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
574. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
575. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
576. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
577. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
578. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
579. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
580. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
581. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
582. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
583. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
584. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
585. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
586. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
587. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
588. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
589. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
590. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
591. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
592. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
593. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
594. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
595. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
596. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
597. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
598. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
599. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
600. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
601. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
602. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
603. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
604. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
605. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
606. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
607. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
608. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
609. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
610. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
611. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
612. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
613. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
614. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
615. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
616. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
617. one-legged Santa at an arse-kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas illumination in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
618. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
619. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
620. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
621. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
622. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
623. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
624. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
625. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
626. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
627. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
628. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
629. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
630. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
631. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
632. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
633. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
634. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell, an individual tart comprising a shortcrust pastry base, layers of jam and almond paste, and topped with icing and a glacé cherry ● 19 Mar ’21 >
635. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
636. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
637. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
638. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
639. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
640. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
641. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
642. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
643. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
644. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
645. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
646. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
647. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
648. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
649. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
650. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
651. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
652. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
653. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
654. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
655. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
656. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
657. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
658. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
659. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
660. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
661. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
662. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
663. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
664. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
665. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
666. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
667. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
668. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
669. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
670. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
671. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
672. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
673. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
674. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
675. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
676. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
677. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
678. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
679. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
680. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
681. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
682. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
683. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
684. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
685. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
686. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
687. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
688. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
689. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
690. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
691. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
692. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
693. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
694. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
695. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
696. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
697. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
698. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
699. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
700. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
701. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
702. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
703. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
704. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
705. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
706. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
707. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
708. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
709. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
710. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
711. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
712. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
713. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
714. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
715. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
716. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own points of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
717. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
718. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
719. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
720. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
721. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
722. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
723. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
724. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
725. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
726. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
727. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
728. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
729. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
730. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
731. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
732. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
733. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
734. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
735. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
736. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
737. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
738. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
739. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
740. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
741. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
742. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
743. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
744. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
745. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
746. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
747. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
748. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
749. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
750. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
751. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
752. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
753. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
754. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
755. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
756. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
757. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
758. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
759. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
760. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
761. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
762. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
763. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
764. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
765. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
766. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
767. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
768. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
769. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
770. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
771. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
772. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
773. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
774. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
775. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
776. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
777. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
778. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
779. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
780. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
781. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
782. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
783. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
784. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
785. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
786. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
787. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
788. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
789. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
790. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
791. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
792. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
793. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
794. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
795. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
796. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
797. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
798. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
799. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
800. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
801. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
802. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
803. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
804. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
805. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
806. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
807. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
808. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
809. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
810. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
811. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
812. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
813. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
814. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
815. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
816. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
817. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
818. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
819. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
820. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
821. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
822. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
823. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
824. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
825. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
826. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
827. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
828. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
829. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
830. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
831. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
832. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
833. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
834. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
835. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
836. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
837. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
838. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
839. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan ’25 >
840. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
841. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
842. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
843. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
844. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
845. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
846. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
847. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
848. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
849. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
850. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
851. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
852. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
853. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
854. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
855. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
856. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
857. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
858. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
859. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
860. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
861. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
862. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
863. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
864. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
865. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
866. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
867. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
868. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
869. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
870. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
871. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
873. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
874. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
875. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
876. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
877. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
878. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
879. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
880. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
881. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
882. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
883. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
884. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
885. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
886. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
887. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
888. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
889. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
890. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
891. front loader n
Bra that fastens at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
892. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
893. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
894. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
895. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
896. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
897. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
898. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
899. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
900. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
901. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
902. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
903. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
904. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
905. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
906. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
907. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
908. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
909. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
910. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
911. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
912. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
913. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
914. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
915. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
916. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
917. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
918. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
919. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
920. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
921. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
922. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
923. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
924. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
925. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
926. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
927. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
928. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
929. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
930. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
931. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
932. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
933. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
934. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
935. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
936. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
937. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
938. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
939. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
940. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
941. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
942. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
943. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
944. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
945. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
946. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
947. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
948. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
949. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
950. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
951. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
952. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
953. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
954. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
955. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
956. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
957. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
958. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
959. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
960. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
961. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
962. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
963. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
964. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
965. a bob short of a quid exp
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 24 May ’25 >
966. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
967. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
968. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
969. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
970. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
971. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
972. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
973. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
974. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
975. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
976. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
977. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
978. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
979. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
980. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
981. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
982. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
983. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
984. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
985. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
986. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
987. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
988. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
989. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
990. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
991. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
992. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
993. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
994. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
995. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
996. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
997. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
998. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
999. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1000. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1001. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1002. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
1003. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1004. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
1005. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1006. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen chores ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1007. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass, aka double bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1008. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1009. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1010. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1011. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1012. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1013. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1014. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1015. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1016. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1017. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
1018. contrafibularities n
Congratulations. Can also be used out of context to baffle the hearer ● 24 May ’25 >
1019. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1020. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1021. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1022. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1023. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1024. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1025. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1026. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1027. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1028. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1029. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1030. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1031. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1032. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1033. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1034. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1035. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1036. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1037. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1038. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1039. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1040. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1041. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1042. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1043. rebug v
While attempting to debug software, inadvertently introduce one or more new bugs ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1044. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1045. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1046. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1047. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1048. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1049. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1050. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1051. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1052. you with wobbly bottoms, climbing up that tree verse
Alternative lyrics to Land of Hope & Glory ● 24 May ’25 >
1053. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1054. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1055. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1056. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1057. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1058. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1059. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1060. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1061. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1062. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1063. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1064. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1065. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1066. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1067. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1068. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! Get a move on! ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1069. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1070. battenberg n
A police response vehicle ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1071. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1072. allergict adj
Allergic ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1073. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1074. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1075. trifle, trifle come and get an eyeful verse
Substitute chorus for the song Strawberry Fair ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1076. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1077. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1078. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1079. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan ’25 >
1080. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1081. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1082. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1083. Rod & Staff n
The erstwhile Surrey electrician Rod Green and his sidekick ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1084. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1085. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1086. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1087. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1088. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1089. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb ’25 >
1090. Pomp & Circumstance n
The erstwhile Surrey painters, decorators and handymen Sigmund & Pomp ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1091. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1092. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan ’25 >
1093. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1094. codslaw n
Coleslaw ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1095. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan ’25 >
1096. eyes on your own plate! exp
You have all been served a fair portion, so don’t go eyeing up your siblings’ plates ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1097. Santa Masakeena n
San Tomas Aquino ● 27 Jun ’25 >
1098. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar ’25 >
1099. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan ’25 >
1100. we know a song about that, don’t we? exp
Used to flag up a double entendre. Works similarly to “as the actress said to the bishop” and “that’s what she said” ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1101. new notes exp
I don’t accept second-best ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1102. underblench n
Faint aroma of whatever it is the bleach was supposed to eradicate ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1103. Heathery Bongo n
Hemdean Road in Caversham RG4 ● 25 Aug ’25 >
1104. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr ’25 >
1105. allons le tout cochon exp
Let’s go the whole hog. Let us splash out on every optional extra ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1106. jols n
Holidays ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1107. myth of future availability exp
The condition where your diary for a few weeks ahead looks pretty empty, and you somehow believe that THIS TIME it won’t fill up before that week arrives ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1108. weps n
Wasp ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1109. land holding hands exp
When two aircraft land in sync on parallel runways ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1110. Nissan Dormobile n
The aria Nessun dorma from Puccini’s Turandot ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1111. The Glums n
The musical Les Misérables ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1112. Weston-super-Merde n
The unappealing Somerset seaside town Weston-super-Mare ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1113. Mike Spilligan n
Spike Milligan, Irish comedian who wrote the Goon Show among other works ● 30 Sep ’25 >
1114. snow buzzards n
Snowbirds, folk who migrate from northern North America to warmer places further south for the winter ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1115. slab-sided bottycrack n
Lumpen inelegant bombastic river cruiser. Can also refer to an SUV with similar characteristics ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1116. people who live in glass houses should undress in the dark exp
Variation on the proverb People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1117. meet the Danish delegation v
Visit the lavatory for purpose no. 2 ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1118. Penis van Lesbian n
The American entertainer, and byword for an atrocious Cockney accent, Dick van Dyke ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1119. custode v
Look after. Hold on to ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1120. what’s that you’re almost wearing? exp
I consider your attire too scanty ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1121. flapnel n
Foreign paper money of little use after returning home ● 29 Oct ’25 >
1122. Louis Baleep n
Louis Philippe I, last-but-one king of the French 1830-45 and last to be called King ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1123. Eeel-Fra-Koom n
The Devon seaside town Ilfracombe ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1124. gazogene n
A kitchen device – such as those made by Sodastream – for putting fizz into plain water ● 07 Jan >
1125. nosebags! exc
You are eating that rather quickly and unappreciatively ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1126. coached egg n
Poached egg ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1127. gist-perfect adj
Accurately describes a finding, opinion or assertion while failing to recall its exact words ● 07 Jan >
1128. rattle some pans v
Start preparing a meal ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1129. vennimal n
Image of an animal made from ellipses ● 24 Nov ’25 >
1130. bashi bazooka n
A bra that induces notable forward projection of the busty substances ● 07 Jan >
1131. tantric farewell n
When the period between a person saying they intend to leave a place or gathering and their actual departure proves to be uncomfortably protracted ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1132. things are worth what you pay for them, so here’s some free advice exp
I am about to give you some advice – that you might find patronising – in a self-effacing manner ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1133. who put the bozo in cambozola? exp
Just a silly saying, that usefully serves as a spelling mnemonic for this splendid German cheese (which is sometimes known as blue brie) with an Italian name and French connections ● 09 Dec ’25 >
1134. Roger’s Knickers n
The Yoguslavian (now Croatian) town Rogoznica ● 26 Nov ’25 >
1135. sherbet n
Alcoholic drink ● 07 Jan >
1136. the 11ᵗʰ man delusion n
A belief in one’s ability to beat overwhelming odds ● 07 Jan >
1137. Micky Bubbles n
Canadian singer Michael Bublé ● 07 Jan >
1138. buggy turn n
When a car driver unnecessarily swings out to the right before turning left (or the opposite in countries that drive on the wrong side) ● 27 Feb >
1139. blicker n
Blister ● 27 Feb >
1140. tits a bit nipply exp
It’s a bit chilly ● 07 Jan >
1141. fidgety-fidge adj
Excessively fidgety ● 07 Jan >
1142. where’d you get your licence? Off the back of a Wheaties packet?! exp
I consider you an indifferent driver… at best ● 07 Jan >
1143. quick sticks! exp
Get a move on! ● 27 Feb >
1144. ingredigents n
Ingredients ● 27 Feb >
1145. it’ll be nice when it’s finished exp
Goodness me, this project is taking a long time ● 27 Feb >
1146. chopper copper n
(1) Dentist
(2) Police officer in a helicopter ● 27 Feb >
1147. poubelle n
A dish made from ingredients readily to hand. Can also be used as an adjective to describe such a dish ● 27 Mar >
1148. botty gardens n
Botanical gardens ● 27 Feb >
1149. cough it up, chicken! exp
Encouragement to one engaged in a coughing fit ● 27 Mar >
1150. stromboli exc
Utterance used to disguise a belch ● 27 Mar >
1151. sugared almonds n
Dad’s expression for a pair of ballet shoes ● 27 Mar >
1152. Market n
What John called Mark ● 27 Mar >
1153. kokillate v
Cook ● 27 Mar >
1154. evil flourishes like the green bay tree exp
Aren’t bad people bad? ● 27 Mar >
1155. spilth n
Fizzy water left over after carbonating a bottle-full ● 31 May >
1156. Hydrofoil n
Intentional malapropism for the Welsh tune Hyfrydol, perhaps best known for the hymn Love Divine, All Loves Excelling ● 31 May >
1157. slime n
Spreadable “butter” ● 31 May >
1158. twicker v
Fiddle, faff or twitch.
Also:
twickery adj ● 31 May >
1159. snappy titogram n
Mammogram ● 31 May >
1160. yardalada n
What someone might take if you offer them an enchilada ● 31 May >
1161. heel, heel, toe, toe, mind the gap and off we go exp
Cue for concerted action when boarding an Underground train with small kids ● 31 May >
1162. Fuchstik von Teaspoondrawer n
You know, what’s-his-name. It’s on the tip of my tongue…
Third party whose identity is believed to be known by the other party but whose name can be recalled by neither ● 30 Jun >
1163. and then the ashtray falls off exp
This device is not as robust as its makers would have you believe ● 30 Jun >
1164. dispossess the sidethrust! exc
That vessel is equipped with side-thrusters (sideways-acting propellers used in manoeuvring) ● 30 Jun >
1165. mugabe! exc
Goodness! ● 30 Jun >
1166. punishment bread n
Bread that is so replete with healthy seeds and grains that you could use it to exfoliate ● 30 Jun >
1167. Mukkinese Battle-Horn exp
Your knees are dirty ● 30 Jun >
1168. Mad stad n
Reading’s Madejski stadium ● 30 Jun >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
