popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan >
2. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
3. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
4. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
5. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
6. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
7. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
8. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
9. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
10. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
11. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
12. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
13. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
14. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
15. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
16. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
17. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
18. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
19. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
20. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
21. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
22. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
23. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
24. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
25. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
26. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
27. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
28. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
29. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
30. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
31. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
32. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
33. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
34. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
35. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
36. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
37. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
38. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
39. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
40. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
41. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
42. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
43. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
44. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
45. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
46. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
47. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
48. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
49. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
50. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
51. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
52. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
53. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
54. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
55. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
56. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
57. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
58. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
59. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
60. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
61. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
62. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
63. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
64. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
65. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
66. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
67. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
68. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
69. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
70. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
71. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
72. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
73. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
74. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
75. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
76. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Not wholly in command of events ● 27 May ’21 >
77. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
78. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
79. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
80. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
81. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
82. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
83. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
84. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
85. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
86. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
87. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
88. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
89. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
90. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
91. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
92. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
93. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to first position, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
94. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
95. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
96. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
97. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
98. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
99. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
100. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
101. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
102. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
103. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
104. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
105. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
106. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
107. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
108. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
109. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
110. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
111. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
112. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
113. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
114. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
115. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
116. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
117. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
118. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
119. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
120. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
121. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
122. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
123. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
124. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
125. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
126. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
127. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
128. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
129. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
130. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
131. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
132. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
133. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
134. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
135. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
136. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
137. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
138. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
139. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
140. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
141. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
142. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
143. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
144. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
145. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
146. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
147. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
148. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
149. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
150. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
151. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
152. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
153. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
154. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
155. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
156. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
157. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
158. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
159. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
160. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
161. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
162. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
163. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
164. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
165. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
166. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
167. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
168. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
169. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
170. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
171. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
172. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
173. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
174. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
175. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
176. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
177. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
178. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
179. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
180. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
181. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
182. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
183. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
184. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
185. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
186. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
187. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
188. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
189. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
190. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
191. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
192. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
193. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
194. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
195. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
196. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
197. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
198. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
199. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
200. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
201. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
202. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
203. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
204. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
205. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
206. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
207. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
208. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
209. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
210. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
211. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
212. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
213. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
214. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
215. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
216. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
217. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
218. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
219. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
220. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
221. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
222. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
223. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
224. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
225. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
226. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
227. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
228. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
229. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
230. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
231. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
232. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
233. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
234. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
235. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
236. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
237. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
238. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
239. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
240. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
241. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
242. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
243. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
244. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
245. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
246. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
247. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
248. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
249. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
250. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
251. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
252. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
253. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
254. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
255. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
256. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
257. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
258. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
259. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
260. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
261. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
262. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
263. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
264. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
265. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
266. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
267. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
268. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
269. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
270. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
271. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
272. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
273. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
274. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
275. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
276. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
277. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
278. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
279. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
280. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
281. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
282. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
283. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
284. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
285. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
286. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
287. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
288. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
289. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
290. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
291. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
292. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
293. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
294. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
295. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
296. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
297. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
298. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
299. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
300. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
301. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
302. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
303. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
304. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
305. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
306. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
307. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
308. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
309. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
310. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
311. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
312. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
313. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
314. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
315. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
316. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
317. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
318. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
319. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
320. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
321. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
322. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
323. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
324. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
325. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
326. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
327. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
328. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
329. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
330. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
331. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
332. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
333. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
334. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
335. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
336. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
337. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
338. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
339. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
340. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
341. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
342. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
343. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
344. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
345. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
346. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
347. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
348. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
349. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
350. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
351. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
352. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
353. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
354. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
355. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
356. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
357. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
358. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
359. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
360. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
361. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
362. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
363. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
364. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
365. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
366. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
367. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
368. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
369. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
370. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
371. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
372. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
373. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
374. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
375. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
376. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
377. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” ● 24 Mar ’21 >
378. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
379. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
380. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
381. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
382. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
383. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
384. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
385. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
386. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
387. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
388. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
389. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
390. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
391. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
392. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
393. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
394. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
395. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
396. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
397. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
398. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
399. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
400. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
401. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
402. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
403. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
404. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
405. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
406. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
407. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
408. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
409. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
410. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
411. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
412. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
413. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
414. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
415. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
416. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
417. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
418. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
419. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
420. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
421. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
422. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
423. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
424. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
425. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
426. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
427. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
428. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
429. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
430. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
431. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
432. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
433. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
434. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
435. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
436. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
437. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
438. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
439. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
440. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
441. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
442. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
443. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
444. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
445. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
446. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
447. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
448. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
449. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
450. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
451. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
452. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
453. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
454. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
455. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
456. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
457. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the Limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
458. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
459. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
460. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
461. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
462. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
463. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
464. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
465. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
466. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
467. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
468. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
469. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
470. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
471. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
472. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
473. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
474. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
475. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
476. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
477. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
478. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
479. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
480. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
481. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
482. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
483. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
484. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
485. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
486. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
487. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
488. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
489. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
490. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
491. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
492. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
493. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
494. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
495. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
496. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
497. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
498. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
499. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
500. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
501. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
502. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
503. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
504. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
505. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
506. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
507. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
508. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
509. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
510. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
511. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
512. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
513. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
514. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
515. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
516. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
517. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
518. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
519. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
520. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
521. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
522. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
523. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
524. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
525. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
526. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
527. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
528. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
529. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
530. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
531. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
532. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
533. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
534. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
535. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
536. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
537. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
538. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
539. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
540. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
541. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
542. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
543. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
544. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
545. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
546. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
547. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
548. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
549. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
550. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
551. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version ● 05 Dec ’21 >
552. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
553. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
554. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle.
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
555. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
556. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
557. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
558. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
559. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
560. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
561. muchos cocineros! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
562. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
563. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
564. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
565. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
566. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
567. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
568. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
569. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
570. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
571. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
572. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
573. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
574. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
575. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
576. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
577. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
578. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
579. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
580. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
581. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
582. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
583. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
584. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
585. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
586. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
587. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
588. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
589. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
590. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
591. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
592. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
593. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
594. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
595. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
596. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
597. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
598. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
599. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
600. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
601. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
602. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
603. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
604. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
605. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
606. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
607. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
608. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
609. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
610. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
611. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
612. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
613. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
614. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
615. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
616. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
617. spose n
Spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
618. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
619. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
620. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
621. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
622. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
623. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
624. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
625. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
626. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
627. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
628. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
629. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
630. priest car n
Morris Minor ● 05 Dec ’21 >
631. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
632. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
633. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
634. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
635. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
636. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
637. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
638. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
639. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
640. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
641. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
642. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
643. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
644. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
645. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
646. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
647. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
648. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
649. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
650. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
651. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
652. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
653. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
654. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
655. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
656. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
657. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
658. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
659. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
660. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
661. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
662. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
663. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
664. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
665. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
666. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
667. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
668. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
669. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
670. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
671. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
672. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
673. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
674. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
675. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
676. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
677. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
678. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
679. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
680. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
681. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
682. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
683. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
684. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
685. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
686. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
687. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
688. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
689. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
690. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
691. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
692. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
693. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
694. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
695. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
696. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
697. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
698. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
699. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
700. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
701. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
702. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
703. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
704. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
705. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
706. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
707. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
708. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
709. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
710. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
711. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
712. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
713. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
714. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
715. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
716. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
717. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
718. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
719. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
720. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
721. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
722. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
723. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
724. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
725. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
726. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
727. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
728. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
729. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
730. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
731. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
732. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
733. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
734. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
735. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
736. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
737. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
738. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
739. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
740. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
741. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
742. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
743. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
744. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
745. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
746. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
747. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
748. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
749. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
750. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
751. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
752. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
753. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
754. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
755. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
756. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
757. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
758. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
759. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
760. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
761. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
762. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
763. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
764. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
765. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
766. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
767. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
768. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
769. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
770. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
771. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
772. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
773. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
774. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
775. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
776. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
777. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
778. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
779. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
780. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
781. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
782. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
783. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
784. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
785. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
786. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
787. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
788. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
789. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
790. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
791. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
792. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
793. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
794. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
795. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
796. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
797. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
798. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
799. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
800. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
801. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
802. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
803. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
804. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
805. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
806. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
807. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
808. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
809. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
810. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
811. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
812. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
813. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
814. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
815. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
816. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
817. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
818. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
819. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
820. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
821. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
822. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
823. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
824. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
825. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
826. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
827. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
828. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
829. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
830. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
831. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
832. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
833. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
834. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
835. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
836. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
837. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
838. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
839. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
840. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
841. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
842. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
843. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
844. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
845. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
846. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
847. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
848. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
849. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
850. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
851. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
852. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
853. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
854. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
855. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
856. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
857. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
858. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
859. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
860. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
861. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
862. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
863. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
864. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul >
865. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
866. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
867. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
868. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
869. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
870. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
871. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
873. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
874. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
875. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
876. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
877. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
878. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb >
879. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan >
880. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
881. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan >
882. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
883. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
884. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan >
885. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan >
886. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb >
887. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan >
888. front loader n
Bra with a zip at the front ● 07 Jan >
889. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
890. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan >
891. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan >
892. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb >
893. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb >
894. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan >
895. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan >
896. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan >
897. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan >
898. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan >
899. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan >
900. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb >
901. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb >
902. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb >
903. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan >
904. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan >
905. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb >
906. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan >
907. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan >
908. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb >
909. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan >
910. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb >
911. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan >
912. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb >
913. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan >
914. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan >
915. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan >
916. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan >
917. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb >
918. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan >
919. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb >
920. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan >
921. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan >
922. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr >
923. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb >
924. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb >
925. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb >
926. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb >
927. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan >
928. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan >
929. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan >
930. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan >
931. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan >
932. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan >
933. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan >
934. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan >
935. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr >
936. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb >
937. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb >
938. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb >
939. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr >
940. kumu n
Greens ● 21 Jan >
941. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr >
942. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May >
943. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr >
944. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb >
945. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr >
946. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr >
947. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
948. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul >
949. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb >
950. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May >
951. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May >
952. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May >
953. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May >
954. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May >
955. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb >
956. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul >
957. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May >
958. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr >
959. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul >
960. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May >
961. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr >
962. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb >
963. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May >
964. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul >
965. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul >
966. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul >
967. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul >
968. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul >
969. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May >
970. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul >
971. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul >
972. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul >
973. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul >
974. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul >
975. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug >
976. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul >
977. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug >
978. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug >
979. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug >
980. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug >
981. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep >
982. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep >
983. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep >
984. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep >
985. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep >
986. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct >
987. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep >
988. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct >
989. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct >
990. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct >
991. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct >
992. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct >
993. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct >
994. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct >
995. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct >
996. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct >
997. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct >
998. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
999. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov >
1000. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov >
1001. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov >
1002. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov >
1003. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov >
1004. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov >
1005. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov >
1006. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov >
1007. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov >
1008. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov >
1009. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov >
1010. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov >
1011. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov >
1012. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov >
1013. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov >
1014. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov >
1015. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov >
1016. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov >
1017. christmas gooch n
The period between 24 December and 2 January when, in UK at least, not much happens ● 30 Nov >
1018. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov >
1019. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen tasks ● 30 Nov >
1020. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov >
1021. rebug v
While attempting to fix software bugs, make matters worse instead of better ● 30 Nov >
1022. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov >
1023. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov >
1024. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov >
1025. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec >
1026. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec >
1027. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec >
1028. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec >
1029. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec >
1030. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec >
1031. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec >
1032. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec >
1033. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec >
1034. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec >
1035. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec >
1036. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec >
1037. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec >
1038. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec >
1039. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec >
1040. shining wit exp
Whining shit ● 19 Dec >
1041. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec >
1042. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 