popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
4. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
9. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
10. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
11. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
12. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
13. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
14. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
15. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
16. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
17. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
18. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
19. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
20. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
21. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
22. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
23. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
24. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
25. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
26. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
27. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
28. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
29. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
30. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
31. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
32. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
33. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
34. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
35. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
36. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
37. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
38. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
39. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
40. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
41. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
42. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
43. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
44. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
45. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
46. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
47. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
48. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
49. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
50. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
51. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
52. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
53. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
54. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
55. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
56. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
57. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
58. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
59. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
60. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
61. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
62. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
63. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
64. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
65. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
66. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
67. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
68. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
69. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
70. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
71. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
72. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
73. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 27 May ’21 >
74. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
75. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
76. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
77. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
78. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
79. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
80. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
81. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
82. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
83. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
84. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
85. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
86. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
87. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
88. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
89. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
90. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
91. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
92. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
93. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
94. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
95. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
96. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
97. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
98. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
99. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
100. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
101. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
102. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
103. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
104. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
105. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
106. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
107. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
108. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
109. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
110. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
111. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
112. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
113. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
114. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
115. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
116. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
117. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
118. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
119. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
120. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
121. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
122. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
123. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
124. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
125. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
126. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
127. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
128. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
129. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
130. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
131. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
132. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
133. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
134. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
135. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
136. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
137. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
138. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
139. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
140. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
141. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
142. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
143. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
144. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
145. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
146. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
147. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
148. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
149. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
150. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
151. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
152. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
153. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
154. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
155. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
156. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
157. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
158. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
159. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
160. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
161. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
162. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
163. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
164. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
165. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
166. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
167. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
168. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
169. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
170. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
171. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
172. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
173. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
174. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
175. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
176. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
177. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
178. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
179. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
180. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
181. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
182. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
183. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
184. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
185. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
186. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
187. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
188. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
189. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
190. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
191. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
192. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
193. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
194. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
195. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
196. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
197. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
198. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
199. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
200. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
201. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
202. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
203. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
204. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
205. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
206. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
207. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
208. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
209. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
210. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
211. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
212. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
213. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
214. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
215. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
216. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
217. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
218. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
219. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
220. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
221. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
222. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
223. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
224. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
225. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
226. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
227. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
228. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
229. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
230. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
231. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
232. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
233. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
234. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
235. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
236. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
237. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
238. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
239. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
240. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
241. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
242. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
243. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
244. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
245. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
246. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
247. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
248. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
249. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
250. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
251. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
252. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
253. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
254. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
255. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
256. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
257. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
258. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
259. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
260. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
261. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
262. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
263. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
264. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
265. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
266. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
267. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
268. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
269. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
270. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
271. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
272. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
273. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
274. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
275. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
276. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
277. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
278. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
279. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
280. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
281. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
282. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
283. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
284. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
285. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
286. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
287. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
288. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
289. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
290. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
291. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
292. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
293. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
294. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
295. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
296. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
297. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
298. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
299. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
300. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
301. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
302. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
303. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
304. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
305. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
306. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
307. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
308. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
309. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
310. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
311. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
312. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
313. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
314. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
315. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
316. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
317. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
318. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
319. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
320. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
321. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
322. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
323. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
324. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
325. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
326. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
327. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
328. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
329. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
330. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
331. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
332. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
333. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
334. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
335. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
336. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
337. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
338. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
339. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
340. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
341. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
342. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
343. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
344. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
345. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
346. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
347. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
348. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
349. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
350. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
351. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
352. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
353. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
354. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
355. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
356. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
357. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
358. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
359. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
360. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
361. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
362. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
363. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
364. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
365. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
366. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
367. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
368. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
369. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
370. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
371. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
372. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
373. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
374. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
375. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
376. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
377. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
378. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
379. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
380. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
381. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
382. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
383. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
384. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
385. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
386. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
387. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
388. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
389. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
390. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
391. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
392. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
393. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
394. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
395. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
396. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
397. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
398. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
399. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
400. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
401. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
402. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
403. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
404. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
405. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
406. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
407. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
408. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
409. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
410. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
411. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
412. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
413. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
414. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
415. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
416. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
417. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
418. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
419. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
420. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
421. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
422. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
423. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
424. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
425. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
426. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
427. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
428. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
429. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
430. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
431. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
432. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
433. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
434. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
435. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
436. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
437. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
438. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
439. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
440. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
441. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
442. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
443. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
444. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
445. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
446. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
447. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
448. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
449. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
450. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
451. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
452. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
453. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
454. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
455. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
456. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
457. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
458. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
459. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
460. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
461. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
462. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
463. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
464. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
465. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
466. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
467. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
468. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
469. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
470. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
471. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
472. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
473. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
474. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
475. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
476. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
477. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
478. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
479. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
480. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
481. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
482. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
483. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
484. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
485. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
486. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
487. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
488. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
489. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
490. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
491. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
492. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
493. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
494. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
495. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
496. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
497. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
498. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
499. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
500. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
501. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version, in flagrant denial of the folk process ● 05 Dec ’21 >
502. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
503. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
504. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
505. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
506. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
507. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
508. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
509. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
510. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
511. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
512. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
513. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
514. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
515. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
516. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
517. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
518. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
519. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
520. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
521. muchos cocineros! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
522. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
523. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
524. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
525. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
526. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
527. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
528. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
529. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
530. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
531. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
532. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
533. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
534. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
535. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
536. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
537. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
538. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
539. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
540. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
541. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
542. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
543. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
544. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
545. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
546. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
547. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
548. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
549. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
550. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
551. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
552. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
553. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
554. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
555. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
556. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
557. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
558. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
559. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
560. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
561. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
562. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
563. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
564. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
565. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
566. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
567. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
568. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
569. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
570. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
571. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
572. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
573. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
574. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
575. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
576. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
577. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
578. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
579. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
580. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
581. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
582. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
583. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
584. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
585. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
586. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
587. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
588. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
589. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
590. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
591. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
592. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
593. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
594. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
595. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
596. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
597. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
598. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
599. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
600. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
601. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
602. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
603. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
604. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
605. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
606. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
607. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
608. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
609. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
610. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
611. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
612. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
613. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
614. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
615. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
616. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
617. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
618. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
619. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
620. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
621. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
622. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
623. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
624. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
625. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
626. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
627. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
628. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
629. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
630. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
631. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
632. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
633. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
634. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
635. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
636. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
637. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
638. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
639. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
640. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
641. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
642. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
643. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
644. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
645. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
646. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
647. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
648. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
649. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
650. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
651. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
652. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
653. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
654. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
655. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
656. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
657. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
658. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
659. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
660. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
661. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
662. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
663. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
664. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
665. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
666. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
667. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
668. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
669. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
670. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
671. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
672. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
673. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
674. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
675. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
676. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
677. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
678. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
679. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
680. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
681. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
682. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
683. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
684. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
685. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
686. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
687. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
688. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
689. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
690. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
691. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
692. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
693. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
694. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
695. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
696. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
697. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
698. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
699. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
700. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
701. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
702. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
703. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
704. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
705. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
706. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
707. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
708. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
709. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
710. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
711. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
712. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
713. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
714. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
715. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
716. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
717. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
718. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
719. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
720. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
721. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
722. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
723. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
724. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
725. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
726. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
727. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
728. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
729. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
730. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
731. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
732. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
733. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
734. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
735. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
736. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
737. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
738. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
739. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
740. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
741. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own point of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
742. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
743. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
744. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
745. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
746. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
747. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
748. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
749. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
750. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
751. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
752. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
753. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
754. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
755. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
756. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
757. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
758. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
759. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
760. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
761. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
762. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
763. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
764. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
765. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
766. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
767. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
768. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
769. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
770. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
771. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
772. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
773. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
774. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
775. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
776. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
777. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
778. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
779. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
780. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
781. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
782. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
783. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
784. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
785. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
786. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
787. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
788. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
789. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
790. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
791. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
792. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
793. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
794. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
795. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
796. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
797. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
798. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
799. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
800. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
801. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
802. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
803. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
804. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
805. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
806. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
807. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
808. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
809. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
810. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
811. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
812. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
813. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
814. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
815. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
816. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
817. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
818. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
819. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
820. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
821. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
822. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
823. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
824. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
825. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
826. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
827. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
828. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
829. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
830. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
831. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
832. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
833. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
834. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
835. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
836. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
837. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
838. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
839. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
840. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
841. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
842. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
843. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
844. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
845. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
846. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
847. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
848. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
849. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
850. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
851. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
852. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
853. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
854. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
855. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
856. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
857. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
858. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
859. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
860. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
861. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
862. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
863. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
864. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
865. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
866. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
868. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
869. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
870. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
871. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
873. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
874. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
875. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
876. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
877. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
878. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
879. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
880. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
881. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
882. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
883. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
884. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
885. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
886. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
887. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
888. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
889. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
890. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
891. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
892. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
893. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
894. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
895. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
896. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
897. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
898. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
899. front loader n
Bra that fastens at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
900. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
901. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
902. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
903. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
904. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
905. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
906. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
907. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
908. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
909. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
910. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
911. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
912. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
913. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
914. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
915. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
916. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
917. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
918. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
919. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
920. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
921. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
922. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
923. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
924. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
925. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
926. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
927. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
928. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
929. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
930. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
931. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
932. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
933. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
934. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
935. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
936. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
937. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
938. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
939. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
940. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
941. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
942. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
943. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
944. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
945. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
946. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
947. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
948. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
949. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
950. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
951. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
952. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
953. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
954. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
955. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
956. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
957. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
958. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
959. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
960. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
961. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
962. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
963. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
964. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
965. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
966. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
967. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
968. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
969. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
970. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
971. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
972. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
973. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
974. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
975. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
976. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
977. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
978. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
979. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
980. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
981. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
982. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
983. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
984. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
985. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
986. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
987. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
988. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
989. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
990. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
991. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
992. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
993. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
994. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
995. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
996. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
997. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
998. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
999. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1000. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1001. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
1002. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1003. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1004. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1005. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1006. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1007. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1008. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1009. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1010. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1011. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1012. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1013. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1014. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1015. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1016. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1017. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1018. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1019. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1020. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1021. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen tasks ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1022. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1023. rebug v
While attempting to fix software bugs, make matters worse instead of better ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1024. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1025. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1026. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1027. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1028. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1029. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1030. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1031. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan >
1032. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1033. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1034. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1035. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan >
1036. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1037. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1038. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1039. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1040. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1041. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1042. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan >
1043. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan >
1044. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan >
1045. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan >
1046. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan >
1047. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan >
1048. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan >
1049. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1050. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan >
1051. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan >
1052. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan >
1053. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1054. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan >
1055. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan >
1056. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! At this rate you are unlikely to finish before nightfall ● 02 Jan >
1057. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan >
1058. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan >
1059. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan >
1060. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan >
1061. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan >
1062. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan >
1063. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan >
1064. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan >
1065. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan >
1066. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan >
1067. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan >
1068. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan >
1069. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar >
1070. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan >
1071. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb >
1072. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr >
1073. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb >
1074. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb >
1075. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb >
1076. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr >
1077. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb >
1078. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb >
1079. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan >
1080. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb >
1081. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar >
1082. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar >
1083. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar >
1084. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar >
1085. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr >
1086. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr >
1087. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar >
1088. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar >
1089. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr >
1090. a bob short of a quid exp
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 24 May >
1091. you with wobbly bottoms, climbing up that tree verse
Alternative lyrics to Land of Hope & Glory ● 24 May >
1092. contrafibularities n
Congratulations. Can also be used out of context to baffle the hearer ● 24 May >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
