popularity
Switch view: date order ♦ alphabetical
1. Copper Pisspot, The n
The Golden Cross hotel & restaurant in a courtyard off Cornmarket, Oxford ● 07 Jan ’24 >
2. the pit is in exp
The fruit still contains its pip or stone ● 31 Aug ’22 >
3. overdog n
Supplier that enjoys market dominance, such as Amazon or Google ● 30 Nov ’24 >
4. all of a sudden a big black pudding came floating through the air exc
You are about to be struck during a pillow fight ● 14 Mar ’21 >
5. combine hoover n
Combine harvester ● 11 Mar ’21 >
6. pointèd stick n
Pointed stick ● 12 Mar ’21 >
7. fustercluck n
A mess resulting from several mistakes compounding each other ● 11 Mar ’21 >
8. sadlydie v
Die ● 21 Jan ’24 >
9. sherman n
Act of self-pleasure ● 27 Feb ’23 >
10. oh dear… how sad… never mind exp
I acknowledge your unhappiness, but consider it overstated ● 14 Jan ’22 >
11. His Majesty’s Lunchbox n
The retailer Majestic Wines ● 06 Jul ’21 >
12. betty swallocks n
Perspiration of the gentleman’s area ● 01 Jul ’22 >
13. eh wallah exp
Appears equivalent to “and there you have it” ● 21 Nov ’21 >
14. dance of the bogbrush fairies n
Dance of the sugar plum fairies from Tchaikovsky’s 1892 ballet The Nutcracker ● 01 Mar ’22 >
15. Goat Herders’ Guide to the Galaxy (or GHGTTG) n
The christian bible ● 05 Dec ’21 >
16. Barley-sugar Legs n
His sisters’ pet name for Dad ● 29 Jan ’22 >
17. generation J n
Baby boomers, those of us who grew up with affordable housing, generous pensions and free university ● 31 Oct ’21 >
18. Betelgwayzay n
Betelgeuse (aka α Orionis), red supergiant and 10ᵗʰ brightest star in the sky ● 09 Mar ’22 >
19. Aunty Mark n
Uncle Mark ● 25 Mar ’21 >
20. chilly bin n
Portable icebox ● 20 Jan ’23 >
21. fox’s puss n
Faux pas ● 12 Mar ’21 >
22. bum of the flightle bee exp
Flight of the bumblebee, the Rimsky-Korsakov orchestral piece ● 22 Feb ’21 >
23. downside up adj
Upside down ● 05 Feb ’22 >
24. anti-cretinous adj
Anti-tetanus ● 26 May ’21 >
25. Great Aunt Pottymouth n
Naomi ● 16 May ’21 >
26. cunkspangle n
Person of small wit and smaller manners ● 18 Mar ’22 >
27. Gnomey Alewife n
WordPerfect 4.2’s spellcheck suggestion for Naomi Iliff ● 31 Aug ’22 >
28. body coddler n
Sleeveless coat, or gilet ● 20 Mar ’21 >
29. hatches, matches and despatches n
The Births, Marriages & Deaths column of a newspaper, the avid perusal of which becomes the first priority of some when it thuds on the mat ● 10 Mar ’22 >
30. amtriguous adj
A phrase or utterance capable of three different interpretations ● 24 Apr ’23 >
31. brown katies n
Bronchitis ● 25 May ’21 >
32. dere ’tis! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea! ● 19 Mar ’21 >
33. 14155 n
Iliff ● 16 Apr ’21 >
34. dangleway n
London’s Meridian Skyway cable car system (later known as Emirates Air Line¹) that crosses the Thames near the Millennium Dome (later known as O₂ Arena). By extension, any such cable car system ● 05 Mar ’22 >
35. you may walk down the garden to pick corn, but you must run back! exp
One of Clare’s gardening homilies based on the fact that the moment you pick corn, the sugars (yummy) start to change to carbohydrates (dull) ● 28 Jul ’24 >
36. a pint of water’s a pound and a quarter, except in US where it’s less exp
Counter-mnemonic to Americans’ wholly misleading “A pint’s a pound the whole world around” ● 21 Aug ’23 >
37. burgalarm n
Burgler alarm ● 17 Jul ’22 >
38. chained to the oar of a magnificent galley exp
Your humble labours in pursuit of a noble objective do not go unnoticed ● 16 May ’21 >
39. I takin’ my sack and my boots exp
I’ve had enough of this ● 26 Feb ’21 >
40. chutney n
Lightning ● 07 Apr ’21 >
41. drafty draft n
Precursor to a draft (of documents) ● 29 Jul ’21 >
42. charming ladies n
Naked women ● 15 Sep ’23 >
43. fraggleflops n
A particular kind of shoe, with very little potential as a weapon, issued to prison inmates ● 25 May ’21 >
44. boinga n
Kangaroo, especially when in motion ● 15 Nov ’22 >
45. Father Twiss-Twiss n
Saint Nicholas / Santa Claus / Père Noël / Father Christmas ● 29 Dec ’22 >
46. ahiggit ahugget exp
That person is taking self-deprecation to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
47. fire eng truck n
Fire engine ● 30 Mar ’21 >
48. flock of sparrows n
A particularly satisfying and comprehensive defecation ● 10 Jul ’22 >
49. flat out, like a lizard drinking adj
Flat out ● 27 Feb ’22 >
50. have speaks v
Discuss ● 16 Apr ’21 >
51. hey little horsey, don’t you stop verse
Call back to the song:
Hey little horsey, don’t you stop,
Just let your hooves go clicketty clop.
Tail go swish, wheels go round
Giddy up we’re homeward bound. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
52. NQOTD exp
Not quite our type, darling ● 26 Feb ’21 >
53. bumnuts n
Eggs ● 27 Feb ’22 >
54. ambliance n
Ambulance ● 04 Mar ’22 >
55. alibaba n
The laundry basket at Greenmantle ● 27 May ’21 >
56. a touch of the don’t-want-to-goes exp
Reluctance to go somewhere ● 19 Mar ’21 >
57. black-coated workers n
Prunes ● 11 Aug ’21 >
58. fly squatter n
Fly swatter ● 27 Feb ’22 >
59. Golliwog railway n
The Festiniog (now Ffestiniog) Railway in N Wales ● 25 May ’21 >
60. AFM n
Anger management ● 23 Nov ’21 >
61. graunty/gruncle n
Great aunty / Great uncle ● 25 Mar ’21 >
62. 81 exp
Response to “night-night!” ● 19 Mar ’21 >
63. beefa leefa n
Beef olives ● 02 Mar ’22 >
64. are bears Catholic? exp
Yes ● 25 Nov ’21 >
65. as thick as an elephant bap adj
Not conspicuously astute ● 07 Nov ’22 >
66. get aht t’road ye silly beggar! exc
Cease obstructing my passage! ● 27 May ’21 >
67. aha, Rasputin, the mad monk, climbing up those Russian steppés! exc
Here is the rice pudding. All hail the rice pudding ● 04 Mar ’22 >
68. aber eine wurst hatte zwei ende exp
But a sausage has two ends ● 20 Jan ’23 >
69. Aunty Brute n
Naomi’s name for Aunt Dorothy ● 04 Mar ’22 >
70. bumbag aloo n
Bombay aloo ● 25 Mar ’21 >
71. honker n
Goose ● 22 Feb ’21 >
72. dunny diver n
Plumber ● 27 Feb ’22 >
73. a kangaroo loose in the top paddick adj
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 27 May ’21 >
74. I see said the blind man as he walked into a lampost exp
Sceptical response to the assertion “I see” ● 05 Feb ’22 >
75. do not the gate exp
Don’t obstruct the gate ● 23 Nov ’21 >
76. elsan position n
An inelegant skiing posture remininscent of squatting upon a lavatory ● 17 Jul ’22 >
77. flutterby n
Butterfly ● 11 Mar ’21 >
78. B I tish n
A woman considered to be mean, overbearing or contemptible ● 19 Mar ’22 >
79. bet that’s cooled his biryani down a bit exp
He seems to find that drink refreshing ● 27 May ’21 >
80. gubby n
Car sporting a GB plate when seen abroad ● 14 Mar ’21 >
81. and the band played Believe it if you like exp
I don’t believe it ● 19 Mar ’22 >
82. arsnip n
Parnsip ● 08 Mar ’22 >
83. emPHAHsis on the wrong syllAHble exp
Emphasis on the wrong syllable ● 04 Mar ’22 >
84. daddy socks n
A technique of putting on a sock whereby the heel is pulled up through the leg so that the sole can be placed over the foot ● 30 Mar ’21 >
85. Fabrézé n
The stench suppressant Fabreze ● 08 Mar ’22 >
86. flappyfishogram n
Echocardiogram, an ultrasound scan of the heart ● 29 Jul ’21 >
87. Bildad the Shuhite n
The shortest man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
88. bumhug n
Humbug (the hard minty sweet) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
89. flosh n
With qualifier: fizzy liquid.
Without qualifier: elderflosh (qv) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
90. get off and milk it! exp
I am not very impressed with your vehicle ● 17 Mar ’21 >
91. good girl, Daddy exp
You have my approval, Father ● 25 Mar ’21 >
92. BKJ adj
Bright, keen & jolly ● 24 Feb ’21 >
93. cast nasturtiums exp
Cast aspersions ● 02 Feb ’22 >
94. empty sugar bags exp
What couples actually say when they whisper sweet nothings ● 27 May ’21 >
95. coffinated adj
Sold in a sealed punnet (of food) ● 27 Jul ’21 >
96. Cornish nasty n
1) A poorly made Cornish pasty.
2) A Cornish pasty
…depending on your point of view ● 23 Mar ’21 >
97. for Ron adj
For later on ● 19 Aug ’21 >
98. bloody great balloons exp
Callback to the desperate cry of a vendor of oversized balloons outside Madame Tussauds on a chilly spring day: “Balloons! Balloons! Bloody great balloons!” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
99. bumpity bolliko (n) n
Collision, wreck, prang ● 03 Apr ’21 >
100. deg v
Water ● 29 Dec ’22 >
101. collapsize v
Capsize ● 04 Mar ’22 >
102. brunty adj
Brunette ● 30 Mar ’21 >
103. hankerchoof n
Handkerchief ● 03 Feb ’22 >
104. dusty end n
The part of a violin’s fingerboard closer to the bridge than to the nut, where non-classical players rarely venture ● 04 Sep ’21 >
105. all the way round sir? exp
Literally “shall I serve you everything?” Can be used to imply a hint of gluttony ● 06 Nov ’21 >
106. Depeche Mode n
The retailer Decathlon ● 06 Jul ’21 >
107. big crisp n
Poppadom ● 09 Mar ’22 >
108. elephants and teaspoons exp
Callback to the motivational phrase “How do you eat an elephant with a teaspoon? One spoon at a time” ● 17 Jul ’22 >
109. East Ham adj
Mad ● 21 Mar ’22 >
110. glass cherries n
Glacé cherries ● 27 Feb ’22 >
111. birdy num-num n
Bird seed ● 11 Jan ’22 >
112. cuddly tick bird n
Hand-crafted birthday present for Naomi comprising a long white-bodied, yellow beaked, soft and cuddle-able tick bird, with appallingly prickly feet fashioned out of wire covered in sticky black insulating tape ● 01 Mar ’22 >
113. EBI adj
Even better if… ● 03 Mar ’22 >
114. Fiddlywaxeye n
Imaginary third person when sharing something out between two people – the person counting out ends up with ⅔ and their good-natured companion with ⅓ ● 11 Mar ’21 >
115. de petits pois n
Two small pears… if your French is as bad as Mark’s was ● 10 Apr ’21 >
116. bathroom thought n
A thought, had while using the facilities that exits your mind as you exit the smallest room ● 12 Mar ’21 >
117. do you want me to write a letter? exp
Mum’s response to an offspring complaining about unfairness or strife at school, and later at work ● 07 Nov ’21 >
118. do I have to eat the beak? exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
119. gorillas n
The key of G major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
120. code yellow exp
A pee, or going for a pee, or in need of a pee ● 25 May ’21 >
121. flippin’ ug adj
Unprepossessing ● 11 Jan ’22 >
122. good moaning exp
Good morning ● 25 May ’21 >
123. goodndit n
One of the good guys in a story ● 29 Jul ’21 >
124. bumpity-bolliko (adj) adj
Uneven or bumpy (of a road) ● 07 Apr ’21 >
125. don fly! exc
Be gone, flying insect! ● 21 Mar ’21 >
126. Bob Cox n
The physicist Brian Cox ● 17 Sep ’21 >
127. alec tricity n
Electricity ● 25 May ’21 >
128. fast thinking walk n
A solo walk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
129. do a Thomas v
Race out to the loo in the middle of a meal to make room for more food ● 08 Mar ’22 >
130. a crow, letting exp
I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand, and am claiming that a crow has settled there in case you should think that I am pressing lightly on your head with the fingernails of one hand ● 12 Mar ’21 >
131. Belgian pish n
The beerish substance sold under the name Stella Artois ● 19 Jul ’22 >
132. don’t bandy legs with me exp
Don’t quibble ● 06 Mar ’22 >
133. boil the billy v
Make tea ● 07 Nov ’22 >
134. bastardsphere n
The inglorious company of spammers, hackers & phishers ● 13 May ’22 >
135. Columbo bladder n
The condition, familiar to some older gentlemen, that causes the bladder to suggest one last squirt after the micturiter has shut up shop, washed hands and headed for the door ● 25 May ’21 >
136. donkeys n
The key of D major ● 02 Mar ’22 >
137. Draconia n
Fabled land of uncompromising law and order ● 28 Feb ’23 >
138. another saucer of milk? exp
Goodness me, that was a catty [mean, spiteful] comment! ● 07 Nov ’21 >
139. E-Type punt n
Camping punt ● 03 Mar ’22 >
140. Déjà Vu n
Citroën Deux Chevaux (2CV) ● 13 Mar ’21 >
141. ancestor tea n
The weak tea resulting from topping a pot up with hot water a second or subsequent time ● 26 May ’21 >
142. bearded mushrooms n
Breaded mushrooms ● 27 Jul ’21 >
143. he’s got that round his neck exp
He has deeply misunderstood and/or perpetrated a severe logical or factual tangle ● 01 Mar ’22 >
144. delusions of adequacy n
The mindset of someone attempting to outperform their competence ● 05 Feb ’22 >
145. Cla’am n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Clapham ● 25 May ’21 >
146. ecilop n
Police ● 01 Mar ’22 >
147. come to the cookhouse door, boys! verse
The meal is ready ● 27 May ’21 >
148. forgetty bowl of naise n
Spaghetti bolognaise ● 29 Mar ’21 >
149. I want to watch me daddy pee exp
(What it says) ● 15 Mar ’21 >
150. appalAchian contrOllay adj
Of French wines, appellation d’origine contrôlée… basically, not plonk ● 12 Jul ’22 >
151. disgusterous adj
Disgusting ● 21 Mar ’21 >
152. ah-ahs n
Poo ● 19 Mar ’21 >
153. bonbon ching gum caramel! exp
(No real meaning – just a bonding cry) ● 06 Nov ’21 >
154. goggrybaggies adj
Mouldy, off, rotten (of food) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
155. extinguished adj
Distinguished ● 25 Mar ’21 >
156. are we gentry or do we stack? exp
In practice it seemed to mean “I’m clearing the table now” between the courses of a meal, though none of us made much sense of it at the time ● 05 Jul ’22 >
157. a chill wind in the Trossachs exp
The sensation of wearing a kilt¹ on a cold day ● 10 Mar ’22 >
158. Biggles flies undone exp
1. (Meaningless interjection at any allusion to the fictional character James Bigglesworth, or to any other similarly improbably ept aviator)
2. Your flies are undone ● 26 May ’21 >
159. BO-er n
Deodorant ● 27 Jul ’21 >
160. ashpan n
Panache ● 07 Nov ’22 >
161. baby abluga n
Baby beluga ● 04 Sep ’21 >
162. hiding behind the door when the brains were handed out adj
Not notably astute ● 06 Jul ’21 >
163. a boy is a boy… exp
A callback to the proverb:
A boy is a boy
Two boys are half a boy
Three boys are no boy at all
…a commentary on the productivity of boys hired to do work, when child labour was considered acceptable ● 16 May ’21 >
164. Basingrad n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 23 Apr ’21 >
165. Coorg’s n
The American beer Coor’s ● 25 May ’21 >
166. contribute! exc
Your participation in the conversation must increase ● 10 Feb ’22 >
167. Action Town n
Acton Town ● 08 Oct ’22 >
168. der dee twiddly, dee twiddly, dee botty-cracks exp
We have reached the end of this book/film/TV series ● 12 Mar ’21 >
169. Gusto n
A mystery friend ● 19 Aug ’21 >
170. chilli gone barmy n
Chilli con carne ● 27 Jul ’21 >
171. bezz pawk adj
Bespoke ● 12 May ’21 >
172. bat tsch-tsch n
Bathroom cleaner ● 17 Mar ’21 >
173. doit v
Lose mental acuity (in the demotic: go ga-ga) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
174. a light to lighten the genitals exp
Graffito seen in the gentlemen’s convenience of The Perch inn, Oxford, written beneath the single dim lamp on the wall above the urinals ● 06 Jul ’21 >
175. fin de saison adj
Unwelcoming, with many facilities closed ● 13 May ’22 >
176. bog n
Dog ● 12 Mar ’21 >
177. bug rake n
Hair comb ● 16 Mar ’21 >
178. dumsey-whumnuts adj
Rough, uneven, pitted (of roads) ● 24 Feb ’21 >
179. All’ Barone n
The pub chain All Bar One ● 29 Dec ’22 >
180. Bob’s your parent’s sibling exp
It’s as easy as that ● 11 Feb ’22 >
181. blind mullet n
Seaborne bolus ● 30 Mar ’21 >
182. Ben Yehuda n
Pa’s nickname for Benno ● 09 Mar ’22 >
183. Brandywine Thistlebottom n
The actor Benedict Cumberbatch ● 24 Jan ’23 >
184. beef cut n
Crew cut ● 30 Mar ’22 >
185. go commando v
Perform a piece of music without referring to the score ● 18 Apr ’22 >
186. Fairy Nuff exp
Fair enough. I acknowledge the validity of your position. I concede the point ● 06 Mar ’22 >
187. One I love, Two I love, Three I love, I say verse
Callback to:
One I love
Two I love
Three I love, I say.
Four I love with all my heart
Five I cast away.
Six he loves
Seven she loves
Eight they both love.
Nine he comes,
Ten he tarries,
Eleven they court,
Twelve they marry.
Thirteen they quarrel
Fourteen they part
Fifteen one dies of a broken heart ● 04 Mar ’22 >
188. boom and scrunch n
The parlour game zoom and screech ● 22 Mar ’21 >
189. here’s a tanner each to go away exp
Mental reaction to carol singers knocking the door. Can be literal or ironic. Would not actually be voiced ● 11 Aug ’21 >
190. fizzy knitting n
Overhead powerlines, particularly those for trolleybuses & trams ● 13 Mar ’23 >
191. fundo-cubital dislocia n
The condition of being unable to distinguish between one’s arse and one’s elbow, of being clueless ● 25 May ’21 >
192. dots n
A musical score ● 10 Mar ’22 >
193. when you get to the final, you win exp
When you make it to the final of a competition, you expect to win ● 18 Apr ’22 >
194. gash adj
Broken.
Can also, in the same general sense, be a noun meaning rubbish ● 07 Nov ’21 >
195. curtains generation n
Those who grew up when mental illness was shameful and the only treatment was “pull yourself together” ● 31 Oct ’21 >
196. Australian naming n
The practice of assigning proper names that are unduly literal, such as Great Barrier Reef, Northern Territory, Snowy Mountains, Great Sandy Desert, Mitchell Multilevel Falls, Great Dividing Range etc ● 19 Aug ’21 >
197. up to a point, Lord Copper exp
No ● 27 Jun ’21 >
198. biddle biddle exp
The ringing sound of a GPO Trimphone, the trendy alternative to the standard issue phone in the 1970s ● 06 Sep ’21 >
199. how awdinawy! exc
Depressingly dull. Disappointingly ordinary ● 11 Mar ’21 >
200. that’s the badger! exc
Ah, *that* is the object/technique/problem/solution we were looking for ● 26 May ’21 >
201. flappy plate n
Flour tortilla ● 20 Mar ’21 >
202. crunchy plate n
Poppadom ● 05 Feb ’22 >
203. accident n
An impulse purchase ● 02 Jan ’22 >
204. cunsternoon afterble exp
Good afternoon, constable ● 04 Sep ’21 >
205. bogpaper music n
Homogenised soulless featureless maundering lift music – tear off amount required ● 19 Mar ’21 >
206. clever people like me who talk loudly in restaurants exp
Expression of disapproval of people who talk loudly in restaurants ● 11 Aug ’21 >
207. clootie n
Left-handed person ● 05 Mar ’21 >
208. Douglas Badger n
The WW2 fighter ace and hero Douglas Bader ● 17 Jul ’22 >
209. crop dusting v
Letting a fart whilst in motion, particularly indoors ● 27 Feb ’22 >
210. foul infidel! Know you have trod on the toe of Abdul Abulbul Amir! verse
You have trodden on my foot ● 09 Mar ’22 >
211. a day late and a dollar short adj
Applies to work that is both late and substandard ● 09 Mar ’22 >
212. crank tea n
Herbal infusion ● 20 Apr ’21 >
213. bogflosher n
Drain unblocker ● 25 May ’21 >
214. clickage n
Groceries purchased via a click-and-collect arrangement ● 07 Feb ’22 >
215. blop n
Like blob, but ploppier ● 13 Apr ’21 >
216. grabled exnaplation n
Garbled explanation… but garbled ● 14 Mar ’21 >
217. flaptop n
Laptop computer ● 29 Dec ’22 >
218. canned elephant’s prick n
Tinned meat (eg Spam) ● 27 Feb ’23 >
219. desecrated coconut n
Dessicated coconut ● 29 Jul ’21 >
220. crack the sads v
To become upset or unhappy, or throw a tantrum ● 12 Jul ’22 >
221. chill on the kidneys n
A gloriously specific non-specific ailment you are sure to contract should you go outside between October and April [UK] with your shirt untucked from your waistband ● 29 Oct ’23 >
222. bidet n
Rear wash-wipe mechanism (of a vehicle) ● 05 Jul ’22 >
223. bouncealine n
Trampoline ● 30 Mar ’21 >
224. castrated adj
Decaffeinated (of coffee or tea) ● 20 Mar ’21 >
225. eh bien, merde alors exp
Never mind, let’s move on ● 15 Nov ’22 >
226. give every flying moment something to remember it by exp
Response to “I’m bored” ● 10 Feb ’22 >
227. it’s only me Naymee! exp
I am exercising my self-conferred right to enter your house without an invitation ● 27 Feb ’21 >
228. autocucumber n
The autocorrect function common on smartphones ● 24 Apr ’23 >
229. FHB exp
Family Hold Back, a reminder at parties to let guests have a good crack at the nosh before piling in ● 21 Nov ’21 >
230. add more lightness exp
Cut out anything superfluous ● 27 Feb ’23 >
231. fiat lux, a remark attributed to God exp
Let there be light ● 12 Mar ’21 >
232. babu peechi lal n
Self-important person ● 08 Oct ’22 >
233. buttons on a wall exp
Response to “so what?” ● 18 Apr ’22 >
234. god rest you jerry mentlemen verse
Mischievous variation on God rest you merry, gentlemen from the carol of the same name ● 11 Feb ’22 >
235. sniggle v
Like snigger, but with less implied criticism ● 05 Jul ’21 >
236. and hadn’t we the gaeity at Phil the fluter’s ball verse
A line that Dad would sing at the most unexpected of times ● 19 Mar ’22 >
237. flea rake n
Hair comb ● 28 Feb ’22 >
238. da hoover’s broke exp
I’ve broken something and it’s your fault ● 12 Feb ’22 >
239. Higwi Kombi n
High Wycombe ● 20 Apr ’21 >
240. breathe in, it’s good for you exp
Please cease complaining about this stinky farmyard ● 26 Feb ’21 >
241. flaming brandinis n
Game that involves pouring flaming brandy over a bowl of raisins and eating them while they’re still burning ● 04 May ’22 >
242. diddle diddle dumpling, mice and John verse
Diddle diddle dumpling, my son John
…the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
243. epoophany n
A paradigm-shifting thought, reached while sitting upon the throne ● 12 Mar ’21 >
244. flappy meats n
Cooked meats, charcuterie, cold cuts ● 04 Mar ’22 >
245. goosegog n
Gooseberry ● 28 Jan ’22 >
246. fissle v
Surreptitously investigate wrapped presents before breakfast on Christmas morning ● 29 Dec ’22 >
247. bum in the air adj
Hard at work ● 27 Feb ’22 >
248. testiculate v
Employ expansive gestures whilst talking bollocks ● 11 Aug ’21 >
249. hodududuh n
Hand-powered carpet sweeper ● 04 Sep ’21 >
250. chocolate board n
The rear boarding platform of a bus, specifically of the AEC Regent Three ● 21 Nov ’21 >
251. rabbit of negative euphoria n
One who is unhappy ● 17 Mar ’21 >
252. dudu n
Insect or bug ● 21 Mar ’21 >
253. Grindelchomps n
The historian, TV presenter and daughter of Reading Lucy Worsley ● 10 Jul ’22 >
254. Beezlebub n
Mispronunciation of Beelzebub ● 28 Feb ’21 >
255. effluent n
Elephant ● 05 Feb ’22 >
256. I only dropped them once exp
I only destroyed { the item in question } once ● 27 Jul ’21 >
257. any more laid back, his bum would fall off exp
Extremely relaxed, perhaps reprehensibly so ● 26 May ’21 >
258. abratadabra exc
Answer to the question “What’s the magic word?” ● 30 Mar ’21 >
259. old bagaloon n
Humourless older woman ● 06 Mar ’21 >
260. the camels are coming hurrah, hurrah! verse
Pa’s jingle, delivered in an Anglo-Indian lilt, to go with jiggling a small child on his knee ● 05 Mar ’22 >
261. furphy n
A tall tale. An erroneous or improbable story that is claimed to be factual ● 12 Jul ’22 >
262. conkerbox n
A small, noisy car that rattles and shakes ● 31 Aug ’22 >
263. didn’t want it ANYway! exp
Said when irreversibly deprived of something, particularly if through one’s own actions ● 01 Mar ’22 >
264. amontiddly-doh n
Amontillado, a variety of sherry ● 20 Jun ’23 >
265. zizzer-zoof seeds n
Features, especially in software, “which nobody wants, because nobody needs” ● 03 Mar ’21 >
266. haddoncave v
Participate in PE without a jockstrap ● 27 Jun ’21 >
267. beep conveyor n
One of those vehicles used in airports and hospitals for conveying loud, unsettling beeps around the place ● 24 Jan ’23 >
268. elderflosh n
Elderflower cordial ● 19 Mar ’21 >
269. gee what great looking kids – are they adopted? exp
Intended meaning: Your kids are a lot blonder than you two ● 30 Mar ’21 >
270. get off home with you! exc
Your round of golf is spoiling the view from my window ● 08 Mar ’21 >
271. dead, and never called me mother exp
General purpose acknowledgement of a tragic circumstance ● 25 May ’21 >
272. ars bin n
Wing bean ● 08 Mar ’22 >
273. cockpit ape n
One who drives with an arm resting along the door, in the manner of Clarkson J and Johnson B ● 28 Jul ’21 >
274. ’twill fit!! exc
Despite signs to the contrary, this jigsaw piece WILL fit! ● 08 Mar ’22 >
275. envelote n
Envelope ● 30 Mar ’21 >
276. sloppies n
Loose-fitting clothing worn inside the home. Daylight PJs ● 10 Feb ’22 >
277. dry as a Nullarbor rabbit adj
Thirsty ● 27 Feb ’22 >
278. encambula n
Ambulance ● 30 Mar ’21 >
279. go swimming with the children v
Defecate ● 18 Apr ’22 >
280. catch a falling poo verse
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Try not to make a mess.
Catch a falling poo and put it in a packet,
Send it to the NHS.
—to the tune of Catch a falling star ● 20 Jun ’23 >
281. that man did smack me with a needle! exc
Toddler Mark’s blubbing reaction to an inoculation which he had not expected ● 16 Apr ’21 >
282. Yizanastikov the Russian exp
He has a nasty cough ● 30 Jan ’22 >
283. fluff v
To break wind ● 24 Jan ’23 >
284. may your wheels turn square and your petrol turn to water! exc
A curse directed at disobliging drivers ● 20 Jan ’23 >
285. what a day dad had! exc
Father has suffered some setbacks today ● 10 Jul ’22 >
286. bumbalo bag n
Bumbag (US: fannypack) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
287. Boom-holé n
Fictional planet ● 27 Jul ’21 >
288. ky-oo Daddy! exc
On second thoughts, Father, I should like to take up your offer to carry me ● 03 Mar ’21 >
289. fartidoodalus n
One who messes around, or exhibits lack of focus and determination ● 27 Jul ’21 >
290. misery bite n
Comfort food when unwell ● 18 Apr ’22 >
291. hand in one’s badge and gun v
Resign ● 30 Jun ’22 >
292. Mr Bump exp
An iterative navigation technique that eschews maps, plans and electronic devices and instead proceeds in the hope that each failed attempt will at least bring the traveller a little nearer to the destination. Characterised by scenic routes & late arrivals ● 01 Mar ’22 >
293. percussive maintenance n
Trying to fix a thing by hitting it ● 01 Jul ’22 >
294. cowp v
Capsize ● 01 Jul ’22 >
295. dial, face, mug, pan or mat n
Face ● 07 Nov ’22 >
296. oomagoolie n
Umami, the one of the five basic tastes that didn’t have an English word (so we took the Japanese one) ● 21 Nov ’21 >
297. assumptions make an ass of ump and tions exp
Avoid making assumptions ● 25 May ’21 >
298. grouse adj
Very good ● 25 May ’21 >
299. haus sik n
Hospital ● 02 Mar ’22 >
300. fall over blackwards exp
Positive discrimination taken to extremes ● 16 May ’21 >
301. hot will grow cold, if greedy will wait exp
If you had patience then your mouth would not be burning right now ● 12 Mar ’21 >
302. sickly cake n
Individual cake of the indulgent type served for afternoon tea at the right sort of hotel ● 11 Mar ’21 >
303. earbash n
A verbal harangue ● 07 Nov ’22 >
304. while you’re on your feet… exp
By standing up you have made yourself liable for any tasks that I want doing (such as bringing us all a cup of tea) ● 19 Mar ’22 >
305. surface filing n
A system of filing that involves leaving everything on the desktop, ie no system at all ● 28 Feb ’22 >
306. hoggry tiglets! exc
My, what a satisfying ending! ● 14 Mar ’21 >
307. everybody’s got to be somewhere exp
Response to “What are you doing here?” ● 30 Jul ’23 >
308. obstacular adj
In the nature or manner of an obstacle ● 12 Mar ’21 >
309. changed his 40 for two 20s and found he wasn’t wired for it exp
Catty comment about a man who proves over-ambitious in his philandering ● 29 Oct ’23 >
310. paucey adj
Limp, pale or unprepossessing ● 21 Mar ’21 >
311. run around to get wet adj
Having a low rate of flow (of a bathroom shower) ● 01 Jul ’22 >
312. can’t get his tongue round his Rs adj
Has difficulty saying the letter R ● 31 Oct ’21 >
313. cock a deaf ’un v
Cock a deaf ear; ignore the thing a person has said ● 12 Jul ’22 >
314. soft poop n
Soft scoop ice cream, noted more for its malleability than its delectability ● 10 Jul ’22 >
315. Grey Funnel Line n
The navy ● 26 Jun ’23 >
316. donkey manure exp
An utterance of deniable disrespect for Afrikaaners ● 06 Sep ’23 >
317. Marcus Aurelius n
Dad’s pet name for Mark ● 05 Dec ’21 >
318. the job’s a good ’un exp
We have achieved our objective ● 12 Feb ’22 >
319. piece of chelief n
Chief of police ● 28 Feb ’22 >
320. pump n
Nonsense ● 24 Mar ’21 >
321. wadundudundu n
Sleeping policeman (speed bump) intended as a traffic-calming measure ● 21 Mar ’21 >
322. swooshbox n
Dishwasher ● 25 May ’21 >
323. wut‽ exc
Like what‽, but whattier ● 16 Apr ’21 >
324. wankpanzer n
Large agricultural vehicle when chosen for use in an urban environment ● 12 Apr ’22 >
325. shrapnel n
Small change, especially foreign coins that would be worthless on returning home ● 28 Feb ’22 >
326. winnebago n
A Milwaukee brand tape measure ● 30 Mar ’22 >
327. snortelly snips n
Sleep, especially in anticipation ● 17 Mar ’21 >
328. square measles n
A QR code, one of those 2-D barcode things like… like… well, like square measles ● 28 Sep ’22 >
329. little teapots have big spouts exp
Let us continue this discussion later, when the children aren’t listening ● 26 Feb ’21 >
330. shut up and give your arse a chance exp
You appear to be talking nonsense ● 17 Mar ’21 >
331. 1-2-3 wash yourself, ducky! exc
I am throwing a handful of wet sand at you ● 09 Mar ’21 >
332. Lethal Festival n
The Leith Hill Musical Festival ● 27 May ’21 >
333. dudu maki n
Insect repellent ● 04 Mar ’22 >
334. defillibrator n
Defibrillator ● 01 Jul ’22 >
335. in the nothings adj
Naked ● 19 Mar ’22 >
336. tight as a crab’s arse under water adj
Unduly economy-minded ● 08 Mar ’21 >
337. cleveh adj
Clever in a rather smug sort of way ● 15 Mar ’23 >
338. Turd & Cabbage n
Slug & Lettuce, the restaurant chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
339. samting, nating exp
Not worth worrying about (or remembering or noticing) ● 28 Feb ’22 >
340. by gum I’m stuck. What am I? exp
[Riddle] ● 10 Sep ’23 >
341. hey, Mr Squirrel, pull your pants up! exp
Callback to a joke that clearly tickled Pa but was never given in full ● 03 Sep ’23 >
342. lah-pom n
Lavatory ● 09 Mar ’21 >
343. takes the skin off your teeth exp
An effect of eating rhubarb ● 09 Mar ’22 >
344. it’s only a trifle said the monkey exp
Callback to:
”It’s only a trifle!” said the monkey as it peed onto the sponge fingers
…an expression of disdain for the gallimaufric pudding known as a trifle ● 26 Dec ’21 >
345. avian fornication n
Thing of no regard ● 03 Sep ’23 >
346. elephant paper n
Kitchen roll ● 03 Mar ’21 >
347. said Aunt Helga exp
response to anyone saying “tis” (or “it is” without sufficient care) ● 12 Mar ’21 >
348. American seat n
A merry conceit ● 27 Feb ’21 >
349. floor sweepings n
The type of bread so full of roughage that it barely hangs together, and is often understatedly sold as “multigrain” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
350. A-flute v
To campaign with the use of an A-frame adorned with corflutes proclaiming the campaginer’s message ● 22 Oct ’23 >
351. there we are then! exc
What a silly person! ● 27 Jun ’21 >
352. shenzi adj
Below standard, no good ● 02 Mar ’22 >
353. Harwich for the Continent, {Frinton} for the incontinent exp
Old folk joke from the time when “Harwich for the Continent” would be generally recognised ● 18 Aug ’23 >
354. no use to man or dog exp
No use to man or beast ● 14 Mar ’21 >
355. Horrible Life n
Herbal Life (now Herbalife), the brand of shampoo & similar products ● 12 May ’21 >
356. I’ve got my big eating hat on! exp
Settle down, stop this noise/disagreement/kerfuffle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
357. peelywally baggie n
Part-baked baguette ● 09 Mar ’21 >
358. omzetbelasting exc
Imprecation that sounds ruder than it is ● 27 Jul ’21 >
359. how’s your belly off for spots? exp
How are you ● 21 Mar ’21 >
360. blick auf exp
Wake up! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
361. niggs n
Eggs ● 30 Mar ’21 >
362. susu bilong bulmacow n
Cows’ milk ● 01 Mar ’22 >
363. flatusphere n
The hazard zone of a flatus ● 06 Mar ’21 >
364. slimy ming fruit n
Avocado ● 28 Feb ’21 >
365. punctuality is a politeness of kings exp
Don’t be late ● 11 Aug ’21 >
366. there’s no show without Punch exp
Jobs don’t get done when the person who normally does them is away ● 21 Mar ’21 >
367. St Reatham n
Gentrified pronunciation of the London district Streatham ● 25 May ’21 >
368. vollay! exc
I am about to hit you ● 01 Jul ’22 >
369. noxious weed n
Non-native species of plant ● 11 Mar ’21 >
370. salad pie n
Quiche ● 13 Apr ’21 >
371. bagaloons n
Capacious knickers ● 27 Feb ’21 >
372. FOFO n
A basis for the valuation of stocks (inventory) hard-found by young auditors ● 10 Sep ’23 >
373. some people really work at being miserable exp
Gosh, s/he doesn’t look for the silver lining! ● 06 Jul ’21 >
374. forn prongs n
Travel adapters for electrical plugs ● 04 Mar ’21 >
375. op n
Any edible liquid/paste/stew ● 09 Mar ’21 >
376. aleebee n
Alibi ● 21 Aug ’23 >
377. when a man is tired of Bracknell… exp
Callback to:
When a man is tired of Bracknell he has been there 20 mins ● 10 Mar ’22 >
378. I’ll raise a bunion on his Spanish onion verse
I shall have my revenge, in a sort of easy-going way ● 27 Jan ’22 >
379. short arms, deep pockets adj
Mean, stingy ● 08 Mar ’21 >
380. our friend who travels on his belly n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
381. wi’ oor knickers hangin’ doon exp
Obligatory rejoinder to “we’re off tae toon” (or “we’re off to town”, as the case may be) ● 24 Mar ’21 >
382. bong n
Person defined by their location, role or relationship ● 28 Feb ’21 >
383. hold back my sleeve while I put my finger to my forehead exp
I am trying to bring a forgotten thing to mind ● 04 Mar ’22 >
384. Burly Chassis n
The Welsh singer Shirley Bassey ● 03 Sep ’23 >
385. listen to the silence! exc
Isn’t it quiet? ● 19 Mar ’21 >
386. if you get there first, draw a chalk line; if I get there first, I’ll rub it out exp
(Laudable nonsense) ● 11 Mar ’21 >
387. a peach of a boat exp
Literally: A very nice boat.
Intended meaning: A fishing boat ● 05 Mar ’21 >
388. hoof-hearted exp
Has the form of an adjective, but is just a surreptitious way of calling out someone else’s flatulence ● 31 Oct ’21 >
389. osh n
Generic term for sauces, soufflés, jellies, dips, pastes, pickles and other comestibles of a similar consistency ● 04 Mar ’21 >
390. stuck in me clack exp
Stuck in my throat ● 01 Mar ’22 >
391. too much admin exp
Mark’s objection to eating crab, artichoke, pomegranate, shrimp etc ● 04 Mar ’22 >
392. my back, my belly and my two sides exp
Response to person complaining they feel unwell ● 12 May ’21 >
393. ladies of negotiable affection n
Female sex workers ● 07 Feb ’22 >
394. tentacles n
Testicles ● 28 Jan ’22 >
395. fart young smeller n
Smart young feller ● 05 Mar ’21 >
396. lie like a flatfish v
Tell extreme lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
397. bim n
Bowel movement ● 28 Feb ’21 >
398. WOMBAT n
Waste of money, brains and time ● 05 Mar ’21 >
399. there’s a ghost, there’s a ghost, throw a flannel at its face! exc
I see you have a flannel on your face. I am about to throw another at you. The flannel already on your face will make this a shocking experience ● 12 Mar ’21 >
400. hogwashing hat n
Impromptu sun hat made by drawing up a t-shirt until the neck band sits round the forehead and the remainder covers the neck ● 03 Mar ’21 >
401. pingams n
Belly button ● 03 Mar ’21 >
402. Saint Sean n
The French composer Camille Saint-Saëns ● 14 Jan ’22 >
403. poffle n
Pop filter for a microphone ● 24 Mar ’21 >
404. humididity n
Humidity ● 13 Mar ’21 >
405. North Pole, duty penguin exp
Mischievous or stroppy phrase for answering a ringing phone ● 21 Nov ’21 >
406. big clock n
Thing to be coveted ● 28 Feb ’21 >
407. I’m as old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth exp
Answer to the question “How old are you?” ● 29 Jan ’22 >
408. be told! exc
Don’t argue! ● 28 Feb ’21 >
409. I was a fool to think the old Percy was dead exp
I find myself amorously inclined ● 06 Sep ’21 >
410. you’ve all done very well exp
You’ve all done very well ● 19 Mar ’23 >
411. who’s going round the roundabout? verse
(Rhetorical) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
412. vacs up nice adj
Responds well to treatment with a vacuum cleaner ● 08 Mar ’21 >
413. nanny nagface n
One prone to give far more criticism or other feedback than the situation warrants ● 11 Feb ’22 >
414. Muggerborski n
The composer Mussorgsky ● 03 Mar ’21 >
415. sooky adj
Timid and/or apt to complain and/or resistant to fun ● 17 Mar ’21 >
416. POETS day n
Piss off early, tomorrow’s Saturday (or, for sensitive ears, Push off…) ● 27 May ’21 >
417. oddfather/oddmother n
A role akin to godfather / godmother suitable for an atheist ● 07 Feb ’22 >
418. bobaligoo n
Boat fender ● 28 Feb ’21 >
419. smells like coffee, looks like cocoa n
WW1 army tea ● 14 Mar ’21 >
420. if you’re up that way with your teeth exp
If you will be going anyway ● 09 Mar ’21 >
421. cover it over quick, Jemima! verse
You are displaying a little more flesh than you might wish ● 08 Mar ’21 >
422. warning-warning exp
Everything is fine ● 05 Feb ’22 >
423. I want gets nothing exp
Don’t ask for things ● 11 Aug ’21 >
424. ready-ready adj
Ready, this moment, to do the next thing (as opposed to starting to think about bringing the previous activity to a close… at some point… probably, which is some people’s idea of “ready”) ● 09 Aug ’21 >
425. cash’n’flash n
Pay-and-display car park ● 03 Mar ’21 >
426. pince mie n
Mince pie, the Christmas comestible ● 18 Mar ’22 >
427. lumps n
Mumps ● 21 Mar ’21 >
428. I’ll have the other half now exp
Perhaps I could be persuaded to a little more beer ● 19 Mar ’21 >
429. respectawiggle adj
Respectable ● 17 Mar ’21 >
430. gobble v
Ogle. Observe lecherously ● 21 Aug ’23 >
431. wee board n
The pastry base of a tart ● 03 Mar ’21 >
432. my wife’s wedding anniversary exp
Hallmark of an unromantic husband ● 06 Sep ’21 >
433. Warr-Doorr n
Wardour Street in London, a centre of the film industry ● 21 Nov ’21 >
434. basking hickory stick n
Lavatory bowl floater ● 28 Feb ’21 >
435. jam sandwich n
Police car ● 13 Apr ’21 >
436. that’s small onions exp
That is the end. We have done all that we are here to do ● 11 Feb ’22 >
437. it has a better chance now exp
The mistake that prevented a thing from working has now been rectified ● 05 Dec ’21 >
438. ump and tions exp
What assumptions make an ass of ● 20 Aug ’21 >
439. wall botherer n
Hammer drill ● 24 Jan ’23 >
440. pugsaw jizzle n
Jigsaw puzzle ● 13 Mar ’21 >
441. case case case exp
In any case ● 02 Mar ’21 >
442. spacemen drop-off n
Specimen drop-off ● 27 Mar ’21 >
443. le grand fromage lui-même exp
The big cheese himself ● 19 Jul ’21 >
444. idées au dessus de son gare exp
Ideas above his station, a classic put-down of those trying to advance themselves by those who consider themselves superior ● 04 Feb ’22 >
445. PhD point n
A subtlety in a creative work so obscure that it will pass unnoticed, unless it becomes the subject of a PhD one day ● 13 Mar ’21 >
446. charge like a wounded bull v
Charge exorbitantly ● 02 Mar ’21 >
447. rectal floss n
The type of swimming attire that disappears up the wearer’s bum crack (intentionally) ● 23 Apr ’21 >
448. susu n
Breast; breast milk. ● 01 Mar ’22 >
449. white seals n
White folk swimming in the Thames, especially before the suntan season ● 30 Mar ’21 >
450. wobulence n
Mild turbulence ● 03 Mar ’21 >
451. floordrobe n
The floor of a bedroom when scattered with clothing ● 22 Oct ’23 >
452. there was a young man of Tralee verse
Callback to the limerish:
There was a young man of Tralee
Got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked “Did it hurt?”
He said “No not a bit
Thank goodness it wasn’t a hornet” ● 27 May ’21 >
453. puffin break n
When climbing, a puffing break with a pretext ● 04 Mar ’21 >
454. testiculae loquans adj
Talking bollocks. Purveying rubbish ● 05 Dec ’21 >
455. oh bother! exc
Things are not going well ● 17 Mar ’21 >
456. cooking fat! exc
By jove, that cat is annoying me ● 02 Mar ’21 >
457. they’ll never sell ice creams at that speed exp
An emergency vehicle is passing with its siren going ● 11 Feb ’22 >
458. tibbit! exc
Shout to be given if first to sight a yellow hydrant during a car journey ● 19 Mar ’21 >
459. little birdie flying high verse
A callback to this ditty:
Little birdie flying high
Drops a present from the sky
Angry farmer wipes his eye
Thanking god that cows don’t fly ● 12 May ’21 >
460. parroty error exp
When your parrot says “pieces of seven” ● 01 Mar ’22 >
461. yow cor wack it exp
That would be hard to beat ● 18 Dec ’21 >
462. Milly-Molly-Mandy house n
A stereotypical house, absolutely symmetrical with one window each side of the porch, three matching windows on the first floor (2ⁿᵈ if you’re American) & the pitch of the roof matching the pitch of the porch ● 27 Jun ’21 >
463. gawn awf and gawt lawst exp
Gone astray ● 26 Jun ’23 >
464. snotty gobbles (or snot block) n
Vanilla slices ● 04 Mar ’22 >
465. home again, home again, jiggedy jog verse
We are finally home! Pa would chant it upon arriving home after an outing with Mr Bump ● 12 Mar ’21 >
466. poverty model n
Bottom-of-the-range option, especally where the cost savings are conspicuous ● 03 Mar ’21 >
467. soft day n
A day that’s raining stair-rods (cats & dogs, the devil & pitchforks, bullfrogs or your own regional expression to taste) ● 15 Nov ’22 >
468. now the weather turns quite dirty and the clock it strikes five-thirty exp
The weather is taking a turn for the worse ● 07 Feb ’22 >
469. potato sock n
Sock with several holes ● 04 Mar ’21 >
470. more of a meal than a drink exp
Tea served from a pot without a strainer ● 27 Jun ’21 >
471. so you do that exp
Response to an inaudible PA announcement ● 08 Mar ’21 >
472. homeopathic vodka n
Water ● 27 Jun ’21 >
473. you daft ha’p’orth! exc
That is entertainingly silly ● 07 Apr ’21 >
474. shivery bite n
Biscuit or sweet issued after a swim ● 03 Mar ’21 >
475. knock it on the head exp
A suggestion by Dad’s consultant for dealing with a UTI ● 16 Mar ’21 >
476. ordinary Australian tea n
India tea ● 27 Feb ’23 >
477. the door’s not shut on my genius but… verse
I’ll eventually prove to be brilliant ● 08 Mar ’22 >
478. the chop n
A vasectomy ● 10 Feb ’22 >
479. laxadaisical adj
Like lackadaisical, but laxer ● 28 Jul ’21 >
480. obsquecious adj
Obsequious ● 17 Sep ’21 >
481. hypodemic nerdle n
Hypodermic needle ● 05 Mar ’21 >
482. pang! exc
Like bang, but clangier ● 03 Mar ’21 >
483. Ministry of Tidy Folk n
[1] When composers in the classical tradition adopt folk music fatally by stabbing it through the soul with a baton.
[2] People who believe that the version of a folk tune they know is the one true and only version, in flagrant denial of the folk process ● 05 Dec ’21 >
484. village aunty n
Vigilante ● 19 Aug ’21 >
485. the full catastrophe exp
Everything; all of the thing we’re discussing ● 08 Mar ’22 >
486. hyper-bowl n
Hyperbole ● 17 Mar ’21 >
487. priestidge n
Prestige ● 24 Mar ’21 >
488. you are my sunshine, my only sunshine verse
The song:
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey
You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you!
Please don’t take my sunshine away! ● 04 Mar ’22 >
489. Iliff Point n
The remotest part of a beach, where we would go to be away from everyone else (even though it meant lugging everything miles from the car) ● 03 Mar ’21 >
490. Iliff Wight n
Isle of Wight, a county of England ● 03 Mar ’21 >
491. warned in a dream exp
Take a different route ● 06 Sep ’21 >
492. spider werb n
Spider’s web ● 27 Jun ’21 >
493. one more shirt will do me exp
Don’t wash or iron me any more shirts as I’m going to drop dead any moment now ● 12 May ’21 >
494. what about a water bottle Wattle? exp
The sound of a fart while bathing ● 24 Jan ’23 >
495. most highly flavoured gravy verse
Mischievous variation on Most highly favoured lady, a line from the carol The Angel Gabriel ● 11 Feb ’22 >
496. lobster pop n
Lobster pot ● 17 Sep ’21 >
497. shabby and miscellaneous adj
Disappointing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
498. oh Lucky Jim! exc
Well that’s not good ● 05 Jul ’22 >
499. orpathedic adj
Orthopaedic ● 29 Jul ’21 >
500. unleaded adj
Decaffeinated ● 12 May ’21 >
501. white horse n
A perfect guest ● 21 Mar ’22 >
502. sparrowfart n
Very early in the morning ● 21 Nov ’21 >
503. Page Nine n
The Italian violinist & composer Niccolò Paganini ● 14 Jan ’22 >
504. time to put clothes on exp
Time to get up ● 21 Mar ’21 >
505. sausinge n
Sausage ● 13 Mar ’21 >
506. insult v
Consult ● 07 Nov ’21 >
507. let’s put the roof on first exp
Let’s do a thing that due reflection would reveal to be impossible ● 06 Sep ’21 >
508. muchos cocineros chica/chico! exc
My goodness, what a lot of people there are in the kitchen! ● 04 Sep ’21 >
509. peelywally adj
Unwell, washed out, under the weather, pale & uninteresting ● 09 Mar ’21 >
510. limerish n
Limerick that doesn’t quite follow the rules of that verse form ● 11 Aug ’21 >
511. I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by exp
I hate deadlines ● 28 Feb ’22 >
512. sun, sea, sand and, er…, palms exp
Manual self-stimulation ● 28 Jul ’21 >
513. it’s been a bad year for Scottish hill farmers exp
(Intended as a conversation stopper) ● 29 Jan ’22 >
514. yam all right our kid? exp
Do you fare well, sibling? ● 20 Mar ’21 >
515. no fun allowed exp
You have tried to do something nice for yourself and the world will not permit it ● 12 Mar ’21 >
516. saganaki! exc
Goodness me, what low-hanging testicles that chap has been blessed with! ● 04 Mar ’21 >
517. stumps (or call stumps) exp
Declare the end of play – call a halt to an undertaking with no defined end, or simply decide it’s bedtime ● 13 Mar ’21 >
518. horse’s douvers n
Hors d’oeuvres ● 19 Mar ’21 >
519. whackers n
Lies ● 02 Mar ’21 >
520. wellcome home exp
Welcome home ● 16 Mar ’21 >
521. katsik n
A dish Clare invented consisting largely of baked tomato with feta cubes ● 27 Feb ’22 >
522. it was in the last place I looked exp
I’ve found it ● 29 Jan ’22 >
523. pick up fag-ends v
Pay attention to snippets of others’ conversation, perhaps without the full context, often with a view to joining in. Or butting in, if you will ● 07 Nov ’21 >
524. murano adj
Merino ● 25 Mar ’21 >
525. nipple cake n
Cherry bakewell ● 19 Mar ’21 >
526. Stinkyniger n
Rhosneigr, the seaside village in Anglesey ● 12 May ’21 >
527. move your lips! exc
Your diction is unsatisfactory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
528. longhetti n
Spaghetti (see Notes) ● 08 Mar ’21 >
529. who’s “she” – the cat’s mother? exc
Refer to women by their names, not pronouns! ● 03 Apr ’21 >
530. straight-straight-straight exp
Straight on ● 11 Aug ’21 >
531. old folk joke n
A joke so old that it tickles no-one, but must be trotted out when a suitable setup is given ● 11 Aug ’21 >
532. Ma son’s a prawn n
The traditional fiddle tune Mason’s apron ● 18 Aug ’23 >
533. Joe Blake n
Snake ● 04 Mar ’22 >
534. wobblevoice n
Singing with vibrato, especially when taken to excess ● 04 Sep ’21 >
535. splash me boots! exp
Excuse me while I make a visit to the gents’ lavatory ● 12 Mar ’21 >
536. toed in the hole v
Kicked up the bum ● 24 Apr ’23 >
537. we are the cockyolly birds all red and green and gold verse
Fragment of a song Evelyn suddenly burst into after it sat dormant and unsung in her memory for 40 years ● 07 Mar ’22 >
538. you can go off people exp
A person I have hitherto admired has done or said something reprehensible ● 27 Apr ’21 >
539. makes your eyebrows sweat exp
An unexpected consequence of eating blackcurrants ● 05 Mar ’21 >
540. misery chest n
First aid kit taken on holidays, or medicine cupboard at home ● 26 May ’21 >
541. washing machine n
A water’s-edge game: while able to stand, hold hands facing inwards in a ring; float & kick legs to make a splash, and if possible get some rotation going. For 4+ participants ● 28 Jul ’21 >
542. park-anywheres n
A vehicle’s hazard warning lights (aka four-way flashers) ● 04 Mar ’21 >
543. one-legged Santa at an arse kicking party n
A now-retired Christmas decoration in Reading town centre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
544. Jo-Jo le Plongeur n
The children’s bath toy Diver Dan ● 03 Mar ’22 >
545. whocares n
County when filling in a web form ● 03 Apr ’21 >
546. Mr Brown upstairs smoking n
The wholly fictitious person a young lad claimed would pay his bus fare, buying him time to scarper when the conductor went upstairs ● 06 Jul ’21 >
547. Snablats n
St Albans ● 04 Mar ’21 >
548. second coffee n
Weak brew made by re-steeping grounds that have already been used to make the nice coffee ● 28 Jan ’22 >
549. wishywashy place n
The under-bed compartment that serves as a laundry basket at Heron Island ● 27 May ’21 >
550. Notlob n
Bolton, a town in Lancashire ● 04 Mar ’21 >
551. it’s the water exp
Expression of disdain for mass-market American beers ● 25 May ’21 >
552. what will you have? said the waiter exp
A callback to this ditty:
“What will you have?” said the waiter, pensively picking his nose
“Two boiled eggs, you scoundrel – you won’t get your fingers in those” ● 12 May ’21 >
553. mloddy adj
Mouldy ● 11 Feb ’22 >
554. it’s worse than the ticktolleroo exp
A little less fidgeting please ● 07 Apr ’21 >
555. propelleper n
Propeller ● 08 Jan ’22 >
556. thunderwobbler n
Spin dryer, or washing machine when spin drying ● 11 Mar ’21 >
557. senseless man n
Census man ● 05 Mar ’21 >
558. You are very ugly today, Pa/Ma Ubu! exp
A gently loving greeting to one’s spouse in the morning ● 28 Feb ’22 >
559. priest car n
Morris Minor, a 1948-71 economy car that could have given the VW Beetle a run for its money on the world stage had it been as reliable ● 05 Dec ’21 >
560. jock v
Miss, skip, cut or otherwise fail to attend ● 11 Feb ’22 >
561. no bones in it! exp
Easy, little one, there’s nothing hard to swallow in my milk ● 27 Apr ’21 >
562. let my son have the ball! exc
Veiled threat to embarrass an offspring by intervening on their behalf in something they ought to have under control ● 22 Mar ’21 >
563. trowers n
Trousers ● 11 Feb ’22 >
564. hopsital n
Hospital ● 27 Mar ’21 >
565. they are curlews of the fenland! verse
Call and response upon seeing a seagull. ● 09 Mar ’21 >
566. squeamful adj
Like squeamish, but less indefinite ● 17 Mar ’21 >
567. lumpy ming fruit n
Beetroot ● 08 Mar ’21 >
568. I remember being in Scotland verse
A callback to the song fragment:
I remember being in Scotland
Shooting peas up a nanny goat’s bottom
…to the tune of Men of Harlech ● 25 May ’21 >
569. undercrunk n
Strip of pebbles just below the waterline on an otherwise sandy beach ● 03 Mar ’21 >
570. Maggie Murphy’s please park prettily exp
You can park better than that ● 07 Feb ’22 >
571. tolerably early night exp
An early night, which the children involved would likely find intolerable and the adults highly tolerable ● 21 Mar ’21 >
572. nose pie n
The yield from a nose-picking foray ● 07 Nov ’21 >
573. pornograph n
Imaginary appliance for displaying pornography ● 05 Mar ’21 >
574. trivium n
An incidental fact of little importance ● 09 Mar ’22 >
575. two-six exp
Cue for concerted action; same meaning as the more customary one-two-three ● 12 Jul ’22 >
576. the customer is always the customer exp
The supplier’s job is to satisfy the wants of the customer, however unhinged they might appear ● 12 Apr ’22 >
577. who’s died? exp
Your flies are undone ● 30 Mar ’22 >
578. those are not bananas, they’re plantains exp
A baffling and unfounded denigration of bananas ● 09 Mar ’22 >
579. what a fall of royalty! exc
Goodness, those picture cards were badly defeated! ● 12 Mar ’21 >
580. do it self! exc
I firmly decline your offer of help ● 04 Mar ’21 >
581. fok strongbody adj
Powerful, strong, intense ● 03 Mar ’21 >
582. windowscreen n
A vehicle’s windscreen ● 01 Jul ’22 >
583. I don’t boil my cabbages twice exp
I decline to repeat the words to which you failed to give proper attention ● 04 Mar ’21 >
584. open the breach and fire the gun exp
Callback to the couplet:
Wakey wakey! Morning’s come
Open the breach and fire the gun ● 15 Nov ’22 >
585. vauum n
The sound of a vacuum-flush lavatory ● 04 Mar ’21 >
586. hullabaloo n
One given to loud and/or exhibitionist behaviour, especially when boating ● 31 Oct ’21 >
587. Silliam William n
Intentionally pompous variation of the mild put-down Silly Billy ● 06 Jul ’21 >
588. leaf blower n
A well-to-do man who is dissolute or promiscuous ● 12 Feb ’22 >
589. my word, Hetty verse
A callback to the song fragment:
My word, Hetty
If I catch you on the jetty
I’ll saw your leg off
And stick it on with jam
In Amsterdam
…to a tune that the compilers have yet to identify ● 25 May ’21 >
590. garnsed up adj
1) In a tangle
2) Badly soiled ● 04 Mar ’21 >
591. shrimp-wrapped adj
Shrink-wrapped ● 25 May ’21 >
592. practise beforehand which ruins the fun verse
Take preparation seriously. Callback to Flanders & Swann’s A song of patriotic prejudice:
And all the world over each nation’s the same
They’ve simply no notion of playing the game
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they’ve won
And they practise beforehand which ruins the fun ● 27 Jun ’21 >
593. le chien retourne a son propre vomissement exp
The dog returns to its own vomit ● 19 Jul ’21 >
594. tisbic n
Biscuit ● 01 Jul ’22 >
595. hot holders n
Oven mitts ● 21 Nov ’21 >
596. p’daahlo n
Pedalo ● 24 Mar ’21 >
597. I wanna beetroot exc
I really like the look of those toffee apples ● 07 Mar ’21 >
598. loggy sticks n
Logistics ● 17 Mar ’21 >
599. rent to the ideal exp
The cost of trust. The price paid for the comfort of trusting people ● 04 Feb ’22 >
600. elsh n
Elephant dung ● 08 Mar ’21 >
601. toasty bombola n
Heated car seat ● 02 Mar ’21 >
602. PEBUCK exp
The user – generally of a computer – is being a bit thick ● 12 Nov ’23 >
603. ours adj
Our ● 13 May ’22 >
604. wee knights n
Week nights ● 02 Feb ’22 >
605. myzled v
Misled ● 19 Aug ’21 >
606. yellow is mellow, but if it’s brown flush it down exp
Flush poo but not pee ● 08 Mar ’21 >
607. cronky donkey n
Decrepit railway train, especially an old DMU ● 06 Mar ’21 >
608. if I could walk that way I wouldn’t need the talcum powder exp
Response to “walk this way” ● 29 Dec ’22 >
609. taramadiddle n
Like taradiddle, but taradiddlier ● 06 Jul ’21 >
610. Mount Ararat n
Mount Alvernia hospital, Guildford, which is a long climb from the bus stop on the Epsom road ● 27 May ’21 >
611. contrived delights of LA n
Los Angeles’s theme parks ● 03 Mar ’21 >
612. thank you Mrs Lowsborough Goosborough verse
Thanks for nothing ● 02 Mar ’21 >
613. roastby spuds n
Roast potatoes ● 08 Jan ’22 >
614. wash horses v
Wash hair ● 02 Mar ’21 >
615. Teetee de Boof n
Tête de Bœuf restaurant in Wootton Wawen, Warwickshire ● 05 Mar ’22 >
616. unmatched pointer n
A loose end; an unresolved issue ● 18 Mar ’22 >
617. rumble-tumble n
Anglo-Indian dish comprising scrambled eggs, onions and whatever stuff needs eating up ● 05 Mar ’22 >
618. if I wasn’t a gunner I wouldn’t be here exp
Timing phrase used by the gunner during a gun salute to ensure the bangs are evenly spaced ● 30 Jun ’22 >
619. sparrow piss n
A rain shower so nugatory that it doesn’t even wet the grass ● 18 Mar ’22 >
620. it’s no skin off my teeth exp
I am not affected by this ● 04 Sep ’21 >
621. Teshco n
Tesco, the supermarket chain ● 27 Jun ’21 >
622. where’s the yucky bowl? exp
This meal is not entirely palatable ● 23 Apr ’21 >
623. pinghole n
Microwave oven ● 08 Mar ’21 >
624. jagular n
Jaguar – can apply both to panthera onca and to the car brand ● 19 Mar ’22 >
625. hopt out v
Opt out ● 04 Mar ’22 >
626. if UCP on tripe don’t eat it exp
If you see pee on tripe don’t eat it ● 12 Feb ’22 >
627. sealion adj
Senile ● 06 Sep ’21 >
628. vladivostok exc
Exclamation for covering a belch ● 17 Mar ’21 >
629. Sister/Brother exp
Useful device for addressing someone when you’ve forgotten their name ● 08 Mar ’22 >
630. spose n
Common-law spouse ● 28 Feb ’22 >
631. snot harpoon n
Nasal swab ● 07 Nov ’21 >
632. pune or play on words n
Pun or wordplay ● 21 Mar ’21 >
633. tell it not in Gath exp
Between you and me… ● 06 Mar ’22 >
634. slap it in the middle and we’ll all get a bit exp
I propose (or threaten) to serve this jelly, rice pudding, trifle or other osh by striking it in the middle with a ladle ● 19 Mar ’21 >
635. hollow legs adj
One capable of eating large amounts of food while remaining slender ● 05 Feb ’22 >
636. your tiny hand is frozen! verse
Your hand (not necessarily tiny) is frozen ● 09 Mar ’21 >
637. I would as lief ’erd ‘ens exp
I don’t want to do it ● 04 Mar ’22 >
638. my aunt, having made a telephone call, is feeling very much better exp
Mischievous mistranslation of the French expression Tant pis, tant mieux ● 27 Jan ’22 >
639. ticky tacky n
Shoddy building material ● 16 May ’21 >
640. oatygoats n
Goats ● 07 Apr ’21 >
641. Ministry of Tidy Ruins n
Generic term for English Heritage, Historic Scotland and similar organisations dedicated to setting the ragged remains of long-gone buildings in neatly trimmed grass ● 04 Sep ’21 >
642. purple-headeds n
Mountains ● 02 Mar ’21 >
643. pick a note or go home exc
I am pained by your excessive use of vibrato and/or coloratura ● 07 Feb ’22 >
644. wisp n
Whist ● 30 Mar ’21 >
645. Suss-ar-ekal! exc
Pa’s take on his father’s take on a Sikh battle cry ● 09 Mar ’22 >
646. peepy-eyed adj
Frowzy, especially if eyes swollen from lack of (or too much) sleep ● 27 Feb ’22 >
647. playback n
The luggage area of an estate car ● 08 Mar ’21 >
648. poo tickets n
Toilet roll, lavatory paper, bogroll, torchecul, bum fodder… call it what you will ● 28 Feb ’22 >
649. rough as a badger adj
Rough (in the sense of not smooth, but not in the sense of approximate) ● 17 Sep ’21 >
650. like Lot’s wife adj
Emerging profusely (of salt) ● 17 Jul ’22 >
651. what mind is here o’erthrown exp
What was they thinking? That is an uncharacteristically ill-considered remark, decision or action. That contrivance is unnecessarily complex ● 23 Mar ’21 >
652. mismanglement n
Mismanagement, only more so ● 14 Mar ’21 >
653. flopsam & jepsam n
Flotsam & jetsam ● 03 Mar ’21 >
654. teaching wolves to chase sledges exp
Misguided negotiation technique of making a concession without requiring the other party to do the same ● 03 Mar ’22 >
655. talkie-walkie n
Walkie-talkie ● 27 Apr ’21 >
656. three-ee blice verse
Three blind mice
…from the nursery rhyme ● 26 May ’21 >
657. shot a bunny v
Passed wind ● 29 Mar ’21 >
658. vulture capitalist n
Venture capitalist ● 05 Dec ’21 >
659. par cark n
Car park ● 18 Apr ’22 >
660. uninvited guest at every conversation n
TV ● 05 Jul ’21 >
661. undercrackers n
Underpants ● 05 Feb ’22 >
662. sat in a tyre exp
Reference to the phrase Dressed in silk and satin attire ● 19 Jan ’22 >
663. make friends in cookhouse exp
Treat support workers with respect ● 23 Apr ’21 >
664. up your end exp
Phrase used when passing vegetable dishes around a dining table ● 18 Apr ’22 >
665. where we have been no-one shall find, For not a trace have we left behind verse
Reminder to all, when leaving a spot they had spent time in, to look back to check they have taken all their stuff with them.
Callback to:
Where we have been no one can find,
Not a trace have we left behind.
Only the people we’ve helped today
Know that the Brownies have passed this way. ● 08 Mar ’22 >
666. Miss/Master Flum Bum n
Handy moniker for anyone whose name you can’t, at that moment, remember ● 06 Mar ’22 >
667. Stirling Moss, chica/chico! exc
Goodness me, you seem to be driving exuberantly today ● 02 Mar ’21 >
668. thoughcus n
A thought ● 17 Jul ’22 >
669. Spindleshanks n
Dad’s pet name for Jane-Marie, and later for Bel ● 28 Jan ’22 >
670. sof adj
Like soft, but softer ● 02 Mar ’21 >
671. nice parking job, big guy! exc
I am deeply unimpressed with your attempt at parking ● 17 Sep ’21 >
672. tisswiss for Mummy exp
Cue phrase for emptying a sleepy child during the night ● 13 May ’22 >
673. Useless n
James Joyce’s Ulysses ● 13 May ’22 >
674. trypo n
Intentional typo for typo, a typographical error about typographical error ● 05 Mar ’21 >
675. light a candle to Saint Anthony exp
A thing to do when searching for a lost item ● 18 Mar ’22 >
676. operator n
One practised at getting her/his/their own way ● 18 Mar ’22 >
677. soya sturvya exp
I am sorry to disturb you ● 03 Apr ’21 >
678. you must give me the recipe exp
That meal was appalling ● 20 Mar ’21 >
679. Horrids n
The retail emporium Harrods ● 03 Jul ’22 >
680. that’s an acquired taste: you either like it or you don’t exp
I don’t like it ● 08 Mar ’22 >
681. pumpkin time n
Bed time ● 21 Nov ’21 >
682. zlotniks n
A wedgie ● 12 Mar ’21 >
683. sparkling plugs n
Spark plugs ● 27 Apr ’21 >
684. bee-loud glade verse
Invoked when walking amongst busy insects in a rural setting ● 26 Jun ’23 >
685. whackysticky n
Border morris dancing, the flavour of that noble art that involves the percussive use of staves ● 03 Mar ’22 >
686. tadpoles n
A musical score ● 02 Mar ’22 >
687. Forderism n
A strangled conceit of the kind much employed by Rev H Forder to leaven his sermons ● 20 Jun ’23 >
688. then on Friday… no, tell a lie, it was the Saturday exp
Caricature of that particular variety of storytelling that is long on irrelevant detail and short on, well, story ● 22 Mar ’21 >
689. splash and dash n
Quick foray to the grocery shop ● 01 Jan ’22 >
690. I Clavdivs n
I, Claudius, the book of Robert Graves ● 29 Jul ’21 >
691. pimps adj
Easy ● 27 Feb ’23 >
692. couldn’t organise a black pudding adj
Scatty, disorganised, bumbling ● 03 Mar ’21 >
693. longwe liklik exp
I have no idea how far away ● 28 Feb ’22 >
694. one up, one down, one polisher exp
British Army heuristic for lavatory paper usage ● 29 Jan ’22 >
695. ouzo n
Ozone ● 07 Nov ’21 >
696. Tinkwinky Teapot n
The TV adaptation of The Aurora Teagarden Mysteries ● 17 Jul ’22 >
697. if you have been, thank you for listening exp
Customary end-of-gig sign-off of Simon Nicol, guitarist and founding member of the band Fairport Convention ● 12 Jul ’22 >
698. tassel n
Penis ● 19 Mar ’21 >
699. richtigetonneohnenachbarnprüfenstolz n
The pride felt at putting out the right bin without first checking what the neighbours have done ● 14 Apr ’22 >
700. Oyé n
Evelyn’s name for herself when she was known as Joyce (which was up to her late teens) ● 09 Mar ’22 >
701. we’ve squeezed the goodness out of that exp
All the interesting or entertaining aspects of this topic have now been exhausted ● 01 Mar ’22 >
702. I thought we were having a PSA exp
Polite¹ way of saying “No, we’re not going out and stop making that racket”. PSA = peaceful Sunday afternoon ● 28 Feb ’23 >
703. ontray! exc
Special version of “come in” for room service when in France… because the food comes on a tray ● 07 Apr ’21 >
704. your egg’s broken exp
One of the things I’m cooking for us is less perfect than the other, and I’ve decided to give it to you ● 27 May ’21 >
705. jolly hockey sticks adj
Of school-age girls: Enthusiastic participant in sports, and in upholding unquestioningly the school’s stated values – not necessarily used admiringly ● 10 Jul ’22 >
706. now mighty Caesar turned to clay might stop a wall to keep the wind away exp
We are all humbled in death ● 29 Jan ’22 >
707. where we have been, no-one can tell exp
We have left this picnic spot, beach or other location as we found it – well done us ● 03 Mar ’21 >
708. perslongings n
Possessions ● 10 Mar ’22 >
709. snorker n
Sausage ● 23 Nov ’21 >
710. law of diminishing astonishment n
The process by which we become less and less impressed by ever greater advances, especially in technology ● 05 Dec ’21 >
711. no, it’s just the way I’m breathing exp
Time-honoured answer to the question “Are you coming?” ● 16 Mar ’21 >
712. thermosk n
Vacuum flask ● 28 Sep ’22 >
713. not much of anything, but well and truly elegant exp
A more sophisticated and less substantial repast than usually appeared on the King family table ● 04 Mar ’22 >
714. maflingo n
Flamingo ● 05 Feb ’22 >
715. looks like you’ve been working on it for eight hours exc
Forthright critique of a hair-do that’s closer to a hair-don’t ● 29 Dec ’21 >
716. Krapy Rubsnif n
Finsbury Park, a district of London ● 30 Jun ’22 >
717. wo der Kaiser zu fuss geht n
The seat of ease, lavatory, boggo or whatever you choose to call it ● 28 Sep ’22 >
718. three ha’p’orth of gawd help us exp
Disorganised, uncoordinated, a shambles ● 05 Mar ’21 >
719. Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc… verse
Callback to:
Riding to Llandudno on a charabanc
Fifty miles an hour and we don’t care a hang
The engine’s full of petrol and the driver’s full of beer.
(If there was a next line we never heard it) ● 29 Dec ’22 >
720. I can walk from here exp
You have parked rather far from the kerb ● 11 Feb ’22 >
721. mozarella adj
Tight over the belly, typically of a man’s white shirt ● 30 Jun ’22 >
722. the Marmalade Bush n
The Cinnamon Tree, an Indian restaurant in Mortimer near Reading that was a favourite with the Arthurs ● 24 Jan ’23 >
723. two minutes’ silence for the joke that just died exp
That was a terrible joke that deserved to fall as flat as it did ● 04 Mar ’22 >
724. kiss me WHAT‽ exp
G’s reaction on being told we were off to the West End to see the musical Kiss Me Kate ● 19 Mar ’22 >
725. square eyes n
One who watches a lot of TV ● 02 Feb ’22 >
726. mexicakes n
Mexican pancakes when made at home from tortillas, mince, vegetables etc. ● 11 Aug ’21 >
727. the artist is making a joke exp
Its creator intended this to be funny or clever ● 18 Apr ’22 >
728. spanish Tourette’s n
The practice of unexpectedly swatting between the hands insects in flight that are too small for observers to see ● 07 Nov ’22 >
729. the gap towns n
Dorking, Woking, Reigate, Redhill, Guildford… ● 01 Jul ’22 >
730. SLAB DISH PIG GUFF exp
Mnemonic for recalling the then-15 members of the EU ● 30 Jun ’22 >
731. sham-PAG-nee n
Champagne ● 20 Jan ’23 >
732. Hairy Pudder n
The fictional character Harry Potter ● 17 Jan ’22 >
733. well and truly sought after adj
Under pressure ● 08 Oct ’22 >
734. tall, dark and handsome… and slightly out of focus adj
The putative ideal qualities of an attractive woman’s male consort ● 20 Jul ’22 >
735. I laughed until I stopped exp
I didn’t laugh ● 01 Jul ’22 >
736. Waly Disneq n
Walt Disney ● 07 Nov ’21 >
737. in heated agreement adj
When people are arguing vehemently for their own points of view without realising that they coincide ● 10 Jul ’22 >
738. boîte sur toit n
A roofbox, one of those enclosed roofracks for cars ● 12 Nov ’23 >
739. renana n
Banana ● 15 Nov ’22 >
740. kabiss n
Cabbage ● 09 Mar ’22 >
741. which wind begins with F? exp
Callback to a question asked while trying to figure out how to play mah jong ● 07 Nov ’22 >
742. stabbing n
Blood test. Can also refer to an injection ● 23 Mar ’21 >
743. hoist on his/her/your own door-bomb exp
Hoist on his/her/your own petard. Caught in one’s own trap ● 20 Jul ’22 >
744. thalassa! thalassa! exc
After many hours’ travel towards the seaside, there at last is the actual sea!
(thalassa = θαλασσα = sea) ● 19 Mar ’21 >
745. squashed fly biscuits n
Garibaldi biscuits, the ones with currants squashed between two thin rectangles of biscuit ● 06 Mar ’22 >
746. plug v
Conceal item in the rectum ● 05 Feb ’22 >
747. panty n
Pantograph (in the context of current collection) ● 30 Jun ’22 >
748. shith-ooze n
Seat of ease, convenience, lavatory ● 13 May ’22 >
749. madman in the attic exp
Negotiating technique along the lines of “I’d love to do that but the boss won’t let me” ● 03 Mar ’22 >
750. honey money n
Proceeds of selling honey ● 28 Feb ’22 >
751. it’s not rocket surgery exp
It’s not difficult ● 08 Oct ’22 >
752. RTFM exp
Read the manual (instead of bothering me) ● 02 Mar ’22 >
753. mingo n
Flamingo ● 13 May ’22 >
754. I’m taking it back exp
Granny’s almost invariable declaration on arriving home with a purchase ● 19 Mar ’22 >
755. Tony Tortoise n
Actor & TV presenter Tony Robinson ● 30 Jun ’22 >
756. p-o-tat-oes verse
Callback to a song:
p-o-tat-oes O OOOO O OO ● 19 Mar ’22 >
757. Mulligan’s Tyres n
Mull of Kintyre ● 30 Jun ’22 >
758. take the smooth with the rough v
After physical or mental exertion, relax without guilt ● 10 Jul ’22 >
759. whipper snipper n
String trimmer, the powered tool for trimming grass and brush. ● 28 Sep ’22 >
760. pictureskew adj
Picturesque ● 10 Mar ’22 >
761. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons verse
Can be quoted to mean:
1) I have been engaged in trivia
2) I have drunk a lot of coffee ● 26 Aug ’23 >
762. The Whizzer There Was n
The Wizard of Oz ● 18 Mar ’22 >
763. prickly pig n
Echidna, the spine-covered egg-laying mammal sometimes misleadingly known as spiny anteater ● 05 Mar ’22 >
764. spider n
The green bit of stalk on a tomato ● 08 Oct ’22 >
765. Odgers n
The TV presenter Mister Rogers, whose show was a favourite of Joy’s when she was about 2-3 ● 31 Aug ’22 >
766. I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet verse
Callback to:
I lift up my finger and I say tweet tweet, shush shush, come come, now now.
I don’t think we ever worked out what prompted a recital… ● 29 Dec ’22 >
767. park by ear v
Park a vehicle with a lack of care, attention and skill ● 30 Jun ’22 >
768. we won’t have to go to Wales now I brung yer ’ere exp
Now we have seen this poor model, imitation or ersatz version, we won’t have to visit the real thing ● 20 Jul ’22 >
769. Whydofools n
The Cornish amber ale Doom Bar ● 31 Aug ’22 >
770. yuckerypoogens! exc
Indicates that a thing is more than ordinarily messy or disgusting ● 10 Jul ’22 >
771. Moses n
The most elastic man in the christian bible ● 18 Apr ’22 >
772. on the way to Meeting, I saw a butterfly and it reminded me of God exp
Ministry at a Quaker Meeting at Sidcot School, executed for a bet ● 01 Mar ’22 >
773. vollyvongs n
The small puff pastry cases known as vols-au-vent, used for appetisers and desserts ● 01 Jul ’22 >
774. Mount Toberead n
The pile/stack/tower/mountain of books that a person wishes to read ● 31 Aug ’22 >
775. prat flaps n
A particular type of men’s open leather sandal, especially if large, droopy and worn with socks ● 18 Apr ’22 >
776. sound as a pound adj
Highly reliable. Also: In very good health ● 05 Feb ’22 >
777. worms’ boggin’ holes n
Worm casts on a lawn ● 28 Sep ’22 >
778. nucking futter n
One whose behaviour defies reason ● 05 Mar ’22 >
779. long may your big jib draw exp
Wishing you a happy and successful life ● 19 Mar ’22 >
780. put it away – nothing wrong with it exp
You are not unwell ● 01 Jul ’22 >
781. if he fell into basin full of boobs he’d come out sucking his thumb exp
He is serially unlucky ● 28 Feb ’22 >
782. when I was a little girl like you… exp
Pa’s teasing approach to storytelling:
Pa: When I was a little girl like you…
Small ♀: You weren’t a little girl!
Pa: Then, when I was a little boy like you…
Small ♀: But I am not a little boy!
↻ repeat until one party cracks ● 09 Mar ’22 >
783. the nut holding the steering wheel n
The driver of a road vehicle ● 31 Aug ’22 >
784. like a goanna up a gum tree adj
Disappearing fast ● 27 Sep ’22 >
785. B-fart n
Beef heart, an allegedly scrumptious type of offal ● 18 Aug ’23 >
786. pas de freinage violent inutile exp
Drive carefully ● 08 Oct ’22 >
787. PAC n
1) Pissing awful coffee.
2) Pa’s awful coffee
…depending on the audience ● 13 Apr ’21 >
788. T-rain n
Train ● 15 Nov ’22 >
789. pither v
Waste time. Engage in displacement activities. Avoid a task ● 28 Feb ’23 >
790. queece n
Breast meat (aka white meat) of a roast fowl ● 16 Nov ’22 >
791. QB n
That feeling of numbness that can result from sitting still for an hour ● 28 Sep ’22 >
792. whin n
Gooseberry ● 07 Nov ’22 >
793. organ donor n
Cyclist ● 08 Oct ’22 >
794. no, it was a new one exp
Response to “was it an omen?” ● 10 Jul ’22 >
795. pif-pof-paf n
A ruleless, winnerless game that can be seen on beaches throughout Europe. It involves 3 or more people hitting a ball between them with wooden bats ● 31 Aug ’22 >
796. I did not know that death had undone so many exp
Blimey, what a lot of people! Generally used when caught up in a pressing crowd, or observing a teeming throng ● 01 Jul ’22 >
797. the telephone upon the wall verse
Callback to:
The telephone upon the wall
Is useful when you want to call
Just push the buttons on the front
And hold the mouthpiece to your face ● 30 Nov ’22 >
798. vogon adj
Vegan ● 07 Nov ’22 >
799. noy adv
1. Now
2. No ● 28 Sep ’22 >
800. I expect nothing. I fear nothing. I am free. exp
(What it says) ● 08 Mar ’22 >
801. pushen n
Cushion ● 29 Dec ’22 >
802. if you can’t trivialise it it’s not worth saying exp
Don’t treat TV reportage as accurate ● 27 Feb ’23 >
803. holly bush n
Mythical physical laxative ● 10 Apr ’21 >
804. knicker picker n
Picnic ● 20 Jan ’23 >
805. the value of your investment can fall as well as plummet exp
Mantra of the risk-averse ● 29 Dec ’22 >
806. Li Phook n
The East Asian village in Hampshire otherwise known as Liphook ● 01 Jan ’23 >
807. tinkywinky adj
Cosy (of drama) ● 27 Aug ’23 >
808. premium bomb n
Premium Bond, a savings product of UK’s NS&I ● 15 Nov ’22 >
809. kiwi n
Kilowatt-hour (kWh), the usual unit for measuring energy production, storage and consumption at the individual/household level ● 24 Apr ’23 >
810. SA0 n
One lacking in situational awareness ● 28 Feb ’23 >
811. King Midas has ass’s ears exp
The sound of rustling grasses ● 24 Jan ’23 >
812. Ikea name n
A person’s first name modified in a particular way ● 24 Jan ’23 >
813. smoko n
Morning tea, especially when taken in a shearing shed ● 15 Nov ’22 >
814. optometrist method n
A/B testing, in which users of a system, product or idea under development are asked “is it better like this… or like this?” ● 24 Apr ’23 >
815. un joo lating adj
Undulating, usually in reference to rolling hills ● 20 Jan ’23 >
816. like the fat lady – all behind exp
In arrears or running late ● 27 Feb ’23 >
817. Smoky Tree, the n
The vast ancient yew tree & friend in the middle of the meadow at Sheepleas that Iliffs would climb and sit in, or use as a pavilion, when youngsters ● 10 Mar ’23 >
818. trough v
Eat ● 29 Dec ’22 >
819. rattle your dags! exc
Get a move on! ● 12 Jul ’22 >
820. noddles n
Noodles ● 27 Feb ’23 >
821. seagull n
One whose style of management or participation is irregular and unhelpful ● 12 Nov ’23 >
822. whearr be ye to? exp
Where are you? ● 27 Feb ’23 >
823. underneath-th-th n
A woman’s ladyparts ● 24 Jan ’23 >
824. Lord Jesus hangs on a peg. Which peg does he hang on? exp
Deeply philosophical question posed by Felix aged about 6 when hanging a pine cone on the Christmas tree ● 24 Apr ’23 >
825. sorry-pardon exc
I trust you will forgive my trivial error ● 03 Jul ’22 >
826. Pope scuttle n
Passetto di Borgo, the 800 metre concealed passageway that connects the Vatican to Castel Sant’Angelo for purposes of running away ● 30 Jul ’23 >
827. spearmint wino n
Problem drinker who erroneously believes that sucking a mint will hide the alcohol on their breath ● 27 Feb ’23 >
828. nim n
Niece or nephew ● 18 Aug ’23 >
829. if you can’t help don’t hinder exp
Rebuke for an offspring whose attempts to be helpful prove unsuccessful ● 24 Apr ’23 >
830. optical illusion, man! exp
It is an optical illusion ● 27 Feb ’23 >
831. Japanese jibble-jobs n
The sweet, savoury & crunchy party snack otherwise known (in UK at least) as Oriental Mix ● 20 Jun ’23 >
832. I thought you were complaining about the bouzouki exp
I could make no sense of what you just said ● 06 Sep ’23 >
833. kettle n
Steam locomotive ● 12 Nov ’23 >
834. kwinoa n
Phonetic pronunciation of Quinoa ● 22 Oct ’23 >
835. cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum verse
Callback to:
Cheerum chorum chaw chocalorum
Pinga Ninga nee-nay
Pinga ninga nay
Very werry goshy washy tie tie tingo
Very werry goshy washy
Goshy washy tingo
…or something along those lines ● 23 Nov ’23 >
836. manchester n
Household linen ● 22 Oct ’23 >
837. the good ship Slap-it-with-a-ruler exp
Meaning obscure, but it tended to be wheeled out when ships were spoken of ● 12 Nov ’23 >
838. le très chose n
Just the thing I was seeking ● 18 Aug ’23 >
839. down the red lane! exp
Eat your food, child! ● 23 Nov ’23 >
840. left hand down a bit exp
A navigation direction given when unsure, or to suggest that the navigator is unsure ● 29 Oct ’23 >
841. popular beat combo n
A group or band that has enjoyed some success in the singles charts ● 29 Oct ’23 >
842. north-south-west n
New South Wales ● 22 Oct ’23 >
843. william-nilliam adv
Willy-nilly, which is to say haphazardly ● 30 Jul ’23 >
844. shitzu n
A zoo without penguins ● 12 Nov ’23 >
845. subtropical swimming paradise n
Swimming pool with doodads ● 11 Sep ’23 >
846. redbrick n
A consequence of eating beetroot ● 30 Jul ’23 >
847. in all my born days adv
Ever ● 18 Aug ’23 >
848. the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood verse
Light thickens,
and the crow makes wing to th’ rooky wood.
Good things of day begin to droop and drowse;
While night’s black agents to their preys do rouse.
—Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Act III scene 2 ● 20 Jun ’23 >
849. pron exp
Can be used both for “Please would you turn on the printer” and for “I have now turned on the printer, my love” ● 22 Oct ’23 >
850. that’s pissed on me chips! exp
Crikey, that occurrence has confounded my endeavours! ● 21 Aug ’23 >
851. in days gone by adv
In the past ● 18 Aug ’23 >
852. PLAN AHE exp
Plan ahead ● 26 Aug ’23 >
853. stiffie n
A 3½ inch diskette, an obsolete removable storage medium for computers capable of storing 1·44 MB of data – months’ office work in the 1980s, or about a quarter of a typical digital photo in 2023 ● 30 Jul ’23 >
854. zembil n
Large basket, tub, trug or storage bucket ● 30 Jul ’23 >
855. on the wonk adj
Askew ● 10 Sep ’23 >
856. hot bottyflosher n
Cleansing lavatory of the kind often associated with Japan. Apt to be sold elsewhere as a smart or bidet toilet ● 21 Aug ’23 >
857. is it not passing fair to be a King and ride in triumph through Persepolis? exp
I am pleased ● 11 Sep ’23 >
858. stunned mullet n
One ill-suited to an employment, and apparently unaware of it ● 17 Sep ’23 >
859. imaginary friend n
A god ● 13 Sep ’23 >
860. palanquin hee, palanquin ho exp
Bonding cry – no meaning ● 12 Nov ’23 >
861. if you enjoyed it half as much... exp
Callback to the saying “If you enjoyed it half as much as we did, then we enjoyed it twice as much as you” ● 13 Sep ’23 >
862. Nacirema n
The subject of a satirical article Pa once read in which an anthropologist reports upon the weird rituals of a tribe, before eventually revealing that they are none other than Americans ● 17 Sep ’23 >
863. lubricants n
Pedestrians who unwittingly help motorists exit a side road by using a crossing on the main road ● 30 Jul ’23 >
864. prunt v
Printed ● 21 Aug ’23 >
865. swing-door face n
One who enjoys eating out ● 22 Oct ’23 >
866. doobry n
Thingummy. Doohickey. Item that need not be named because it is identified by the context.
Can also be used when the speaker can’t recall the name of an item ● 25 Nov ’23 >
867. there are gazelles in the thicket exp
Your beard contains unwanted matter ● 03 Sep ’23 >
868. big organs run in the family exp
Gleefully puerile response to use of the word organ ● 25 Nov ’23 >
869. horse apples n
Horse shit ● 22 Oct ’23 >
870. barsteward n
Bastard (in its pejorative rather than descriptive sense) ● 03 Dec ’23 >
871. Vladdy the Baddy n
Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin, sometime thug and latterly president of Russia… and thug ● 25 Nov ’23 >
872. with two plombs adj
With consummate poise and assurance ● 25 Nov ’23 >
873. I have had an elegant sufficiency exp
Used when turning down a second (or subsequent) helping at table ● 07 Jan ’24 >
874. bingbongabangbang exp
I predict the credits will roll, or an ad break will start, in the next few seconds (when watching TV) ● 07 Jan ’24 >
875. back dazzler n
A vehicle’s high-intensity rear foglight, especially when used at night in the wet ● 07 Jan ’24 >
876. Lontink n
London ● 25 Nov ’23 >
877. 0000 n
Location where everything is alright. Specifically the sofa Joy sits on at home ● 12 Feb ’24 >
878. as innocent as a nun at a bus stop exp
To all appearances, throughly innocuous ● 11 Feb ’24 >
879. sweat cobs v
Sweat profusely ● 23 Nov ’23 >
880. include me out exp
I do not wish to participate in this activity, thank you ● 23 Nov ’23 >
881. I could have cooked at home exp
Rebuke for anyone who chooses the same dish as someone else at the table when eating out ● 30 Nov ’23 >
882. automagically adv
Automatically, and with impressive élan ● 21 Jan ’24 >
883. turn the knob on your side exp
Consciously unhelpful advice to someone struggling to get a door open. The ritual reply is “I haven’t got a knob on my side” ● 25 Nov ’23 >
884. mollydooker n
A left-handed person, a southpaw ● 03 Dec ’23 >
885. I saw Esau sitting an a seesaw verse
It was just one of those things grown-ups would come out with from time to time ● 07 Jan ’24 >
886. Poppa Piccolino n
Granny’s pet name for Pop ● 23 Nov ’23 >
887. showing all you possess adj
Wearing immodest clothing ● 23 Nov ’23 >
888. head-canon n
Information about an intellectual property that is not explicitly in the text but is in one’s head to explain away an inconsistency/fill in a detail ● 12 Feb ’24 >
889. it’s just an if-statement exp
Satirical take on people who expect software to perform miracles without having the first idea of what’s involved ● 30 Nov ’23 >
890. land of hopeless Tories verse
Line to be sung to the tune of Elgar’s jingoistic roundelay Land of hope and glory ● 07 Jan ’24 >
891. plup in a cup v
Provide a semen sample ● 07 Jan ’24 >
892. aprishotts n
Apricots ● 11 Feb ’24 >
893. Grauniad n
The UK-based newspaper The Guardian ● 30 Nov ’23 >
894. as your mummy say, you’ll grow into it exp
I accept that the clothing I have supplied is rather too large for you ● 28 Jul ’24 >
895. put fur/hair round it! exc
You seem to be having problem getting this thing in the appropriate hole - perhaps if it was more akin to a more biological insertion you would have more success. ● 12 Feb ’24 >
896. Wert n
A bird sculpted in alabaster by Mum ● 11 Feb ’24 >
897. cock-a-leg n
Scottish traditional dancing ● 21 Jan ’24 >
898. one goat! exp
OK, I made a mistake. But I feel you’re attaching too much importance to it ● 21 Jan ’24 >
899. Dr Thos n
A particular hot water bottle at Shelford ● 21 Jan ’24 >
900. Stephen Physics n
1. Personification of physics
2. Any physical law that provides an obstacle in life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
901. blue and green should never be seen except on a donkey’s back exp
Style guidance ● 02 Apr ’24 >
902. kom bibi, bibi! exp
Swiss German summoning cry for chickens, to be yelled at a high pitch and volume when serving them household scraps ● 07 Jan ’24 >
903. scraper n
Violin ● 07 Jan ’24 >
904. oslo n
An instrumental solo during a song ● 21 Jan ’24 >
905. cigar-shaped aluminum tube in the sky n
Aeroplane ● 07 Jan ’24 >
906. front loader n
Bra that fastens at the front ● 07 Jan ’24 >
907. full-fat electricity n
Electricity from an electric vehicle rapid charger ● 07 Jan ’24 >
908. bumcack n
Comeback ● 21 Jan ’24 >
909. bish n
A forgivable mistake ● 02 Apr ’24 >
910. Liztrak n
The Elizabeth Line, the west ⇌ east cross-London rail service ● 03 Dec ’23 >
911. on pots hooray! exc
1. You have finally understood the thing I have been walking you to that I think is obvious.
2. We are looking at some ancient pottery including some form of decoration.
3. We are about to watch The Great Pottery Throwdown (more recent usage) ● 12 Feb ’24 >
912. leave it to cook exp
Said while waiting for digital data to download/transfer ● 07 Jan ’24 >
913. pasteurised is best exp
Reflexive response to use of the word pasteurised ● 07 Jan ’24 >
914. Miss Moppett n
Aunt D’s pet name for her neice Kate Collard (later Baines, later Tomato) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
915. Steve n
The UK restaurant chain Bella Italia (formerly Bella Pasta) ● 11 Feb ’24 >
916. mental floss n
A brain teaser or exercise undertaken to develop mental acuity ● 21 Jan ’24 >
917. Floss n
Clare’s pet name for her daughter Eve ● 21 Jan ’24 >
918. the blind Doges of Venice exp
Response to any reference to Venice, blind, blinds or dogs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
919. enough blue to make a pair of sailor’s trousers exp
The sky might appear grey from horizon to horizon, but if you look carefully there are patches of blue ● 02 Apr ’24 >
920. shusho exp
Expression used when walking with tiny steps, as when traversing ice or other slippery surface ● 11 Feb ’24 >
921. ducklings n
Collective term for various waifs and strays in one’s life ● 12 Feb ’24 >
922. let’s find out, shall we? exp
Response to “do you know what you’re doing?” ● 25 Jan ’24 >
923. horse droppings n
A hairstyle in which the hair is drawn up to sit on top of the head in multiple blobs ● 21 Jan ’24 >
924. he seems nice exp
He seems odious ● 25 Jan ’24 >
925. festive gooch n
The period between Christmas & New Year when almost the whole of UK is on holiday ● 06 Jan ’24 >
926. tasting diamonds v
The experience of breathing in very cold air ● 12 Feb ’24 >
927. let it cuik! exp
If you have an infected bite or splinter, or a boil or carbuncle, put a plaster on and let it take its course ● 21 Jan ’24 >
928. kelp adj
Happy to go with the flow ● 12 Feb ’24 >
929. fimsy n
Gentle fun wordplay ● 12 Feb ’24 >
930. sixpence! exp
Exclaimed at top volume by the first person at a meal to find a bone in their fish ● 07 Jan ’24 >
931. kumu n
Greens (as in green vegetables) ● 21 Jan ’24 >
932. pitiless bottom n
One much given to letting pungent farts ● 02 Apr ’24 >
933. spoons n
The time and headspace required for a proposed undertaking ● 11 Feb ’24 >
934. Pawdawfawdy n
The main bus terminal in New York ● 11 Feb ’24 >
935. put the lumps in the gravy v
Make the gravy ● 25 Jan ’24 >
936. no one knows me in Melbourne, so it doesn’t matter what I wear. Everyone knows me in Yarragon, so it doesn’t matter what I wear! exp
There’s no need to dress smartly ● 04 Apr ’24 >
937. that’s your shauri! exp
That is your problem / issue ● 21 Jan ’24 >
938. Kahula n
The coffee-flavoured alcohol more commonly known as Kahlúa ● 12 Feb ’24 >
939. bog lolly n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
940. Eugene One-Gin n
Евгений Онегин, the young dandy from St Petersberg featured in Pushkin’s novel & Tchaikovsky’s opera Eugene Onegin ● 02 Apr ’24 >
941. tiny dragon n
The strange throat grumblings/squeakings/croakings made by an active digestive system ● 12 Feb ’24 >
942. squabble & beak n
Edited¹: The Westerhoff version of bubble & squeak, comprising shallow-fried leftover potatoes and cabbage ● 07 Jan ’24 >
943. belten our tights exp
Tighten our belts ● 04 May ’24 >
944. Mangerton (going) n
Finally snapping and expressing one’s wordless anger - particularly if this is due to moving goalposts ● 12 Feb ’24 >
945. minion n
Urinal deodoriser block ● 05 May ’24 >
946. audio black n
Silence ● 28 Jul ’24 >
947. bongo wongs n
Loose skin on the underside of a person’s upper arm, often given the insulting name bingo wings ● 26 Jul ’24 >
948. tronken adj
Drunk ● 12 Feb ’24 >
949. sarandoppity n
Serendipity ● 02 Apr ’24 >
950. visitors! Not visitors AGAIN! verse
Refrain in a poem the 7-year-old Naomi wrote expressing the kids’ dislike of the use of their home as a University Visitors’ Centre by Pa ● 21 Jan ’24 >
951. what has it got in its pocketses? exp
What do you have in your pocket? (or What does that person have in their pocket?) ● 04 May ’24 >
952. well that barrel didn’t need scraping exp
This work is eploitative, deceptive, manipulative, inept or otherwise objectionable… and to an even greater degree than previous similar works ● 02 Apr ’24 >
953. mardy adj
Sulky, whiny ● 07 Jan ’24 >
954. __y-tiger adj
Completed with the relationship e.g. mummy/wifey/spousey to mean being naturally protective of someone with whom you have that relationship ● 12 Feb ’24 >
955. trampampoline n
Trampoline ● 12 Feb ’24 >
956. Piglet n
Affectionate name for Eve, the youngest member of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
957. curioxity n
Curiosity ● 05 May ’24 >
958. wankpalazzo n
Stately home ● 04 May ’24 >
959. mece exp
Mutually exclusive, collectively exhaustive ● 05 May ’24 >
960. priffs n
Peripheral vision ● 04 May ’24 >
961. my colleague of the sandpit exp
A playmate whose name escaped young Benno ● 11 Feb ’24 >
962. oi’m a moinah exp
I’m a mynah ● 26 Jul ’24 >
963. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey! exc
Oh for goodness’ sake! An expression of exasperation ● 28 Jul ’24 >
964. lapsang shoepong n
The tea variety lapsang souchong ● 26 Jul ’24 >
965. that’s easy for you to say exp
Used to someone who has just struggled to express an idea ● 05 May ’24 >
966. Botticchrachi n
Botticelli, the Italian painter noted for his nudes ● 02 Apr ’24 >
967. oponopof adj
A city sightseeing tour bus, as found in many tourist destinations, that allows passengers to hop on and off throughout the day ● 26 Jul ’24 >
968. Claypots n
Nickname of the Claydon family ● 11 Feb ’24 >
969. espikkin wahds a weezdum exp
Bonding cry ● 26 Jul ’24 >
970. Wrox-ham verse
The Norfolk town Wroxham ● 26 Jul ’24 >
971. misread between the lines v
Detect subtext that the speaker/writer didn’t intend ● 28 Jul ’24 >
972. politician’s syllogism n
A faulty decision-making process that follows this sequence:
Something must be done ➠ This is something ➠ We must therefore do this ● 26 Jul ’24 >
973. palayorno n
Palamino ● 26 Jul ’24 >
974. pixies n
Pixels ● 26 Jul ’24 >
975. Chi n
Chichester, the (only) city in West Sussex ● 11 Aug ’24 >
976. helmetball n
American football ● 05 May ’24 >
977. named after famous letters of the alphabet adj
Named unduly prosaically ● 28 Jul ’24 >
978. which is why I’m bothering telling you so exp
Used after explaining the relevance of an apparently tangential comment ● 11 Aug ’24 >
979. are you all sitty comfibowl two-square on your botty? exp
Are you sitting comfortably? ● 20 Oct ’24 >
980. city of screaming tyres n
Oxford ● 11 Aug ’24 >
981. Pinchmi-Wel verse
A little-known acquaintance of Adam and Eve ● 11 Aug ’24 >
982. eyes like pissholes in the snow exp
Deeply sunken and/or dark eyes, often preceived to be a symptom of a hangover ● 20 Oct ’24 >
983. word association football n
Word association ● 11 Aug ’24 >
984. did you go to a christian boarding school? exp
You appear to eat very quickly ● 20 Oct ’24 >
985. early-onset rigor mortis n
The aches and pains of old age ● 20 Oct ’24 >
986. Rockin’ Goose n
Angus Rock, also known as Rock Angus, a skerry that stands in the middle of the entrance to Strangford Lough ● 30 Sep ’24 >
987. affluence of incahol exp
Influence of alcohol ● 21 Nov ’24 >
988. Basingscrote n
Basingstoke, a town in Hampshire ● 21 Nov ’24 >
989. mimsy-mumblechumps adj
Unenergetic, lethargic and unenthused… but only slightly ● 06 Nov ’24 >
990. hat-trick job n
A formerly shared job that has become the sole responsibility of the person who was foolish enough to undertake it three times running ● 20 Oct ’24 >
991. Fodgy n
Swanage, a Dorset seaside town ● 30 Sep ’24 >
992. bull fiddle n
Stand-up bass ● 30 Sep ’24 >
993. insa fishy tarn o’ da coont exp
I could make no sense of what they just said ● 30 Sep ’24 >
994. chumpney n
Chutney ● 20 Oct ’24 >
995. rigoletto exp
Spurious appointment Mark would put in his work diary when wishing to swerve the threat of an evening work commitment ● 22 Oct ’24 >
996. VP-tent n
Vickers VC10, a commercial airliner ● 30 Sep ’24 >
997. go in the out exit v
In a building with separate entrance and exit doors, use the wrong one. Drive the wrong way in a car park or other wild space. Go against the established flow ● 21 Nov ’24 >
998. wacha kelele exc
Be quiet! Pipe down! Shut up! ● 30 Sep ’24 >
999. audient n
An individual member of an audience ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1000. feak & weeble adj
Weak and feeble ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1001. hatstand adj
Crazy ● 03 Dec ’23 >
1002. Rickety Rackety Bridge n
The Bailey bridge that used to carry the A246 Leatherhead by-pass across the River Mole ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1003. watergasm n
The feeling of bliss achieved when cold-water swimming (usually below 12°C) after your body has overcome the shock and pain of entering the water and before the cold dangerously enters your core leading to hypothermia. A sense of calm when you feel at one with the natural world, totally relaxed and unaware of time ● 22 Oct ’24 >
1004. Kensington Village Hall n
The Royal Albert Hall (RAH) in London ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1005. BANANA exp
Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone, a more extreme position than NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1006. crook and nanny n
Nook and cranny ● 20 Oct ’24 >
1007. but does it make toast? exp
Satirical distillation of luddite objections to an innovative product ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1008. hossi van tooty n
An ambulance siren ● 05 Nov ’24 >
1009. I’ll give you jingle jangle! exp
I shall deal harshly with any further recalcitrance ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1010. in the beginning there was nothing, which exploded exp
Succinct and accurate summary of the Big Bang ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1011. tabitha-twitchit adj
Fidgety, unsettled ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1012. Bunny Park n
Alwyne Road Park, Hanwell, London ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1013. swave adj
Suave ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1014. it’s a fair cop, but society is to blame exp
I accept responsibility. It’s a fair cop. You have me bang to rights ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1015. Masterbakers n
Generic term for TV shows that involve members of the public performing kitchen tasks ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1016. perry meter n
Perimeter ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1017. barger n
Bursar ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1018. smoke v
Work out, deduce, grasp the meaning of a conundrum, puzzle or joke ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1019. bilge n
Biology (as a school subject) ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1020. Cocoa Banana n
Copacabana, a district of Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and also the title of a song popularised by the singer Barry Manilow in 1978 ● 21 Nov ’24 >
1021. squelchy adj
Intimate, sexual ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1022. Sanata n
Sinatra ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1023. MSP n
Moral superiority prize, earned by eating at a more moderate pace than fellow diners ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1024. hands on – are you ready? – lift! exp
Chant for cueing coordinated action. Can also be used to coax oneself out of a comfy chair when weary ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1025. NORWICH exp
kNickers Off Ready When I Come Home ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1026. varia cum fortuna exp
With absolutely no success whatsoever ● 06 Nov ’24 >
1027. rebug v
While attempting to fix software bugs, make matters worse instead of better ● 30 Nov ’24 >
1028. and his bum fell off and his bum fell off verse
Nonsense song that fits part of the theme tune of the BBC TV series Shakespeare & Hathaway – Private Investigators ● 18 Jan >
1029. Village People parking n
The parking of vehicles in a slapdash or disorderly manner ● 28 Jan >
1030. fost & frog n
Frost and fog ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1031. R Sole n
A favoured alias for an oarsman standing in as a cox ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1032. of its time adj
Offensive to current sensibilities ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1033. idiot check n
A final check that everything is in order, and that no fool has managed to circumvent foolproof procedures ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1034. esky wallah n
One who delivers hot meals to homes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1035. esky n
Insulated food carrier ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1036. graveyard cough n
A cough of such severity that its possessor might not have long to live.
Can also be used hyperbolically to mean simply a bad cough ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1037. a spur to keep your prick inside your tent exp
Essentially nonsense ● 28 Jan >
1038. Mrs McGillicuddy n
A wheeled shopping bag ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1039. dressed in the dark adj
Attired in a slapdash, incoherent or dishevelled manner ● 11 Jan >
1040. is that it? Your joke of the week? exp
Tell better jokes ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1041. Oh Nicholas, don’t be so ridiculous verse
A short chant that Mum would come out with once in a while ● 11 Jan >
1042. Pyongyang Tower n
The residential tower block Thames Quarter in Reading ● 11 Jan >
1043. mental microwave n
Mind ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1044. Bob Donovan n
Generic term for guitar-wielding singer-songwriters ● 18 Jan >
1045. proceed directly to the scene of the accident v
Lose control when driving ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1046. air on a ringtone n
Musical pap. Lift music ● 28 Jan >
1047. I need trepanning like a hole in the head exp
Just a silly thing sometimes said ● 11 Jan >
1048. pome n
Poem ● 11 Jan >
1049. made-up-alin n
Generic term for substances unknown to science that advertisers believe will make toiletries and cosmetics irresistible ● 02 Jan >
1050. gently, Bentley! exp
Be more gentle! Slow down! ● 11 Jan >
1051. walky duck verse
Callback to:
Walky duck, walky duck
Lost his leg and he can’t get up ● 13 Dec ’24 >
1052. dirty bone n
The remains of a roast joint, or fowl, with enough meat remaining to produce a broth when boiled ● 02 Jan >
1053. you can see the strings exp
The presentation, negotiation or other management skill fails to come across as seamless and authentic ● 02 Jan >
1054. you’ll have it dark! exp
Hurry up! At this rate you are unlikely to finish before nightfall ● 02 Jan >
1055. coolth n
Coolness, in the sense of fashionableness ● 02 Jan >
1056. P silent, as in bathing exp
A jokey way of pointing out that P can be silent in English words, such as psychology, receipt, pterodactyl & raspberry ● 11 Jan >
1057. slave driver n
Fitness tracker ● 02 Jan >
1058. shining wit exp
Whining shit. One given to uttering a succession of exaggerated complaints in response to meagre provocation ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1059. Zoroastronaut n
A follower of Zoroaster. A Zoroastrian ● 02 Jan >
1060. I don’t want to play this game any more exp
I am fed up with the current situation, or with life ● 19 Dec ’24 >
1061. man is not lost exp
I have arrived where I intended to. Mr Bump has not failed me ● 28 Jan >
1062. Dracyalcrab n
Barclaycard, the former branding of Barclay’s Bank’s credit card ● 02 Jan >
1063. words of advice concerning sex and travel exp
A forthright imprecation to go away ● 02 Jan >
1064. administrivia n
Administrative trivia. Valueless paperwork ● 04 Apr >
1065. you can never be happier than your unhappiest child exp
(What it says) ● 11 Jan >
1066. catameringue n
Catamaran, the twin-hulled species of boat ● 18 Jan >
1067. Σa ≠ d exp
Data is not the plural of anecdote. Multiple anecdotes do not constitute data ● 31 Mar >
1068. dick doc n
Urologist ● 18 Jan >
1069. belay v
Cease. Stop. Desist ● 04 Apr >
1070. pee shilling toosh n
Two shilling piece ● 28 Jan >
1071. squozen v
Squeezed ● 28 Jan >
1072. garamasalata n
The spice blend garam masala ● 18 Jan >
1073. Harem Dream n
Nickname for the aroma of Sure for Men Active Dry deodorant ● 28 Feb >
1074. top it the nob v
Come it high. Patronise. Act superior. Put on airs. ● 28 Feb >
1075. suicide bikers n
Cyclists who ride in a “wanton or furious” manner (see Notes) ● 28 Feb >
1076. early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy, wealthy and dead exp
Laudable counterproposition to the smug drivel with which larks try to top it the nob over owls ● 28 Feb >
1077. full backal adj
Showing someone’s body naked and from the rear ● 28 Feb >
1078. smoky hole n
Small keyhole ● 31 Mar >
1079. Witherspoons n
Wetherspoons, aka Spoons, the UK pub chain specialising in low prices, sticky floors and light recreational fascism ● 28 Feb >
1080. Crappy Bleater n
The erstwhile roadside restaurant chain Happy Eater ● 18 Jan >
1081. melon pee, come right here, come to the cookhouse door boys verse
Just a thing that gets sung occasionally ● 28 Feb >
1082. railway cake n
Fruitcake sold by the slice, typically on trains and at stations ● 31 Mar >
1083. eye in a sling exp
Non-specific potential serious injury ● 04 Apr >
1084. mondegreen n
A misheard song lyric ● 04 Apr >
1085. a bob short of a quid exp
Confused. Of questionable sanity or intellect ● 24 May >
1086. it gives me the pip exp
I find it annoying or irritating ● 31 Mar >
1087. Lesbianese adj
Lebanese ● 31 Mar >
1088. perkins n
Perquisites ● 31 Mar >
1089. Quick J n
QICJ, the informal network Quakers in Criminal Justice ● 31 Mar >
1090. shit in one sock adj
Organised ● 04 Apr >
1091. Pomp & Circumstance n
The erstwhile Surrey painters, decorators and handymen Sigmund & Pomp ● 27 Jun >
1092. contrafibularities n
Congratulations. Can also be used out of context to baffle the hearer ● 24 May >
1093. you with wobbly bottoms, climbing up that tree verse
Alternative lyrics to Land of Hope & Glory ● 24 May >
1094. Rod & Staff n
The erstwhile Surrey electrician Rod Green and his sidekick ● 27 Jun >
1095. codslaw n
Coleslaw ● 27 Jun >
1096. trifle, trifle come and get an eyeful verse
Substitute chorus for the song Strawberry Fair ● 27 Jun >
1097. Santa Masakeena n
San Tomas Aquino ● 27 Jun >
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Iliff-King phrasebook 
